Year 2022 Weekly check-ins

2023-01-16

• REVIEW

2023-01-04

• TODO

  • 总结下这些年来 自己各方面的经验教训

• REVIEW

2022-12-19

• TODO

  • Priorities

    • paper & chat

  • What help do I need from my leader?

  • FOCUS

    • skills

      • Engineering
      • English

    • love

    • Wealth

• REVIEW

  • What activities/moments did I love last week?

    • 收到转到的钱
      • 以及 领到 消费券
    • bible reading
      • 和年轻人聊天

    • Watch the world cup

      • 喜欢惊心动魄

    • Watch <白莲花度假村>

      • 大海的美, 游泳以及水上摩托

  • What activities/moments did I loathe last week?

    • spend too much on wealth checking

  • activities

    • meet Renee

      • She is good, but I'm not sure about the plan
      • “不要搞人”

    • cancel the hiking

      • 一种 陈腐的气息
      • 自己喜欢 年轻 （朝气蓬勃）的

  • TODO

    • 驾车
    • 游水

• REFLECT

  • SELF

    • Love-strength has more power than group-strength

      • where in this crowd is your voice?

        • Where is your language to describe the unique loves and loathes that define your Wyrd?

      • The strength of knowing who you uniquely are, where you find love in the world, and how to turn love into contribution

      • Love-strength is self-reliant, and abundant

        • It is always and only derived from who you are, and there is no one else like you
        • you're different. Difference, like love, is an infinitely abundant resource
        • This love-strength leads to openness and curiosity

      • love-strength begins with you taking your own loves seriously,and being deeply curious about how these loves can be channeled in some helpful or productive way

    • 锻炼自己的直觉

      • 一方面直觉非常重要，可是另一方面又要及时吸取新的观念修正自己的直觉
      • 经验主义 - 他的理论出自他个人的经验
        • 事物的想象方面与事物在实际上的真实情况
        • 应当怎样生活 与 实际上怎样生活

    • 亲疏一定要有别

      • 经过压力测试的关系值得珍惜； 没有时间考验和压力测试的关系，要区别对待

    • 别把自己当受害者

      • Just do what you have to do

    • If you want to be wealthy, spend your time earning, learning, or relaxing

      • Outsource or ignore everything else.

  • friends

    • 对自己有充足的自信也懂得赞美他人
    • 拥有同理心， 不抱着批判态度对待他人
    • 不怨天尤人并懂得调整自己
    • 得到他人肯定时，懂得感激

    • 面对高压环境不会惊慌失措

    • 不会利用制造罪恶感（Guilt）去勒索他人

      • Guilt: a feeling of worry or unhappiness that you have because you have done something wrong, such as causing harm to another person

        • 只要犯错，就有罪恶感，同时恐惧遭到惩罚

          • 经年累月积累的罪恶感
          • 罪惡感令人 自卑

        • 感到内疚 - 是对某项特定行为持有否定的态度

          • 因为我们的行为影响了别人，并且我们觉得自己对此负有责任
          • “我会为迟到而感到难过。 我给同事带来了不便”

        • 感到羞耻 - 会以一种消极态度看待自己

          • 觉得自己做错事了 - 意识到自己违反了某种社会规范
          • “我真是个失败者，没法和大家一起工作”

        • Judge not, less ye be judged

          • 审断别人，造成别人的罪恶感

        • 罪恶感影响我们最妙的一招是 自责

      • 基督教有 “原罪”概念，更强调人与上帝的关系， 这个关系的重要性超过了人与人的关系

        • 人与人的关系相对而言成为手段，次要的事物

          • 重视与他人关系而产生的羞耻感也相对缓和
          • 上帝的评价 - 教会提供的内化伦理标准所做出的个人自我评价
          • 评价标准可能更具有普遍性，而作为评价所要关照的材料可能是来自个人内心深处的自我感觉

        • 东方人倾向以他人的评价， 而非上帝的审判，来决定自我存在的价值

          • 在乎他人怎么看自己
          • 公开向他人认错，非常困难，因为预期将因此而被他人否定

      • 摆脱罪恶感

        • 很多赎罪的方法，包括 道歉，支付罚款，和服刑

        • 西方基督教文化， 在星期日的彌撒裡，借著餅（神的身體）與 酒 （神的寶血），都被赦免（清洗）掉了，走出教堂，就能迎接另一美好星期的开始

          • 忏悔的宗教认罪意识也可以帮助我们处理罪恶感

        • 中国儒家文化，未能提供此种宗教仪式性的“去罪恶感”机制

          • 清洗罪恶感的方式 变成自我惩罚（受苦和折磨）

            • “罪恶感 - 赎罪 - 自我惩罚” 的人性枷锁

          • 通常一般人的“去罪恶感”与赎罪的手段是 令自己不快乐（以苦为乐）

            • 中国文化与文学里缺乏快乐，自然孕育不出风趣幽默的文学花朵

        • 任何事情只要能增加快乐，就能减轻罪恶感

          • 自我接纳（自尊），接纳别人，建立自尊（自卑的反面）
          • 乐于助人

        • 家长，教师，法官在控诉时，最好采取建设性的行为，最好避免羞辱那些违反规则的人，进而选择帮助他们了解自己的行为对他人的影响，并采取措施，弥补自己的过失

2022-12-12

• TODO

  • what are my priorities?
    • paper & chat
  • What help do I need from my leader?

• REVIEW

  • What activities did I love last week?

  • What activities did I loathe last week?

• REFLECT

  • self

    • find sth makes you laugh or intrigues you

      • you draw strength and love from it, and this then gives you the energy you need to keep moving
      • your loves are so specific and wise that only they can show you your right way to overcome your life's challenges
      • 一方面直觉非常重要，可是另一方面又要及时吸取新的观念修正自己的直觉
      • express your loves
        • turn from lvoes into actions

    • important to build relationships and develop people

      • balance task- and people-related needs at work
      • balance getting tasks done and relationships

    • highlights

      • feel happy to hear from Ivy

        • I am sure that I love her
        • experience the love

      • nice chatting when someone share his expertises/viewpoints

        • experience the truth

      • experience the wood

  • win her families

    • show your caring
      • creat an allies env
      • care about them and their opinions, needs and wants
        • remember when someone tells you their likes or dislikes
      • notice their mood and ask if they are okay
      • ask how they are
      • plan events with them
        • make dinner plans, see a movie, go for a walk together
      • buy a small gift, send a letter or postcard

  • relationships

    • find the patterns, and use the patterns to build the relationships
    • avoid the toxic relationships
      • respect & win-win

  • meetup

    • 飞盘

      • don't feel good
      • 没有配合的乐趣

    • hiking

      • 一般般
      • so cold

    • some close friends

      • 基督徒

  • habits

    • 尽量少熬夜

      • 少看电视剧

    • 尽量早起床

      • 少躺在床上刷手机

    • 发现韩国电影还是有些共鸣

2022-12-05

• TODO

  • paper

  • programming

• REFLECT

  • self

    • your loves are so specific and wise that only they can show you your right way to overcome your life's challenges

    • find sth makes you laugh or intrigues you

    • show collaboration

      • being polite

    • feel a bit sad that Ivy doesn't response me

  • families

    • why are you afraid to see the Ivy's messages?

      • fear

        • listening to them, being curious about them, and admiring them as part of the real you, and they will show you what you truly love
        • love or no love
          • when you step into things you love, you will feel fear
          • the path of fear is the path of love

      • 无力感， 熟悉感

      • I can feel her love

      • 自己的事业不振
      • 可以提升自己

    • Win her families

      • treat her families with respect and care
      • take time to really know them
      • open up about yourself

  • mind create reality

    • 内在世界 创造 外在世界

  • meetup

    • 飞盘
      • 社交 + 户外
        • 攀岩，露营
      • 自己喜欢 控制节奏的 团体运动： 阅读比赛+技术精湛
    • cantonese meetup
      • communicate with the sharing
    • english meetup
      • I like the questions
    • hiking meetup
      • good

2022-11-28

• TODO

• REFLECT

  • self

    • we need to advance our own interests and concerns while appreciate the needs of others
      • 个人要努力，个人要卓越， 个人要有内心的力量， 这种内心的力量带来内心的喜乐和恬静
    • more love and power than truth

  • families

    • Win her families

      • treat her families with respect and care
      • take time to really know them
      • open up about yourself

    • Win her friends

      • be kind to her friends
      • show on interest in them
      • let them see how much you like your girl

    • wechat with my families

      • feel their worries and love

  • meetup

    • bowling meetup
      • the bowling and food is good, while I cannot feel the connections with them
      • Claire is good
    • english meetup
      • Gillian is good
    • bible meetup
    • hiking meetup
      • don't like ones who complains a lot

  • others

    • 办理户口注销
      • 收到付费 - 容易信任对方的小动作

    • 办理回乡证

      • 基层政府人员尽量少打交道
      • non-religious low IQ people are worse

    • 没有家的感觉

2022-11-21

• TODO

  • paper

  • programming

  • reading

  • skills

• Reflect

  • 觉察他人对自己的影响， 同时 分辨出自己内心的声音， 同时做出自己相应的选择

  • build a trusting, friendly relationship

    • demonstrate your memory and care for their lives

    • curious about them, both at work and at home

      • allow them to speak about themselves

    • show them you heard them by saying

      • "I think I heard you say ..." and then repeating back to them the highlights of what they said to you
      • write down as much information about the person as you remember

    • prove that you remember by saying at the next meeting

      • "The last time we talked, you said ...", and again repeat the highlights
      • it's heartwarming when we find someone who cares enough about the details of our lives to remember them

    • let them know what they have doen that you appreciate

      • be explicit about your intent to build a relationship
      • "I only wanna work with investors with whom I have a good relationship. So let's start with a coffee to get to know each other personally"

  • 内在世界 创造 外在世界

    • 我认为看到的困境 跟我們如何去感知这个困境有直接关系

      • 困境不是客观存在的，只不过是你认为而已
      • 走出困境一个很重要的一点 是 要有一个不同的眼光 去看这个困境
        • 比如 他们不知道我的需求是什么， 我没有表达我的需求
      • 如何无解的一个问题，如果我能从更高的角度上去看它，它就不一样
        • "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it" - Albert Einstein

    • reflect on your reactions, where you allow someone's words to affect you emotionally

      • our reactions are ultimately within our control
      • we create the reactions we have, and we choose to give power to some people and not to others
      • "If a crazy homeless person on the subway gave you the kind of feedback you received, how would you react?"

    • when you communicate with another person, you're exploring the depths of your own consciousness

      • the essence of love is the decision to connect or not
      • the purpose of each relationship is to teach you how to love yourself from the inside out
        • when you learn to love everyone and everything, you come into align with your true self

• DONE

2022-11-14

• TODO

• Reflect

  • know your dominant connection strategy, and use it to regain your closeness

    • connect on truth

      • share information and learn from each other

    • connect on power

      • encourage and support each other to achieve your dreams
      • empower gives you official authority or the freedom to do sth
        • power is a direction
        • you can do a lot more good for others when you keep yourself strong

    • connect on love

      • express affection and enjoy each other's company
        • affection - feelings of liking or love
      • don't judge people
        • orient them on how to not make that mistake next time
      • compliment people
        • notice the good in others
        • express respect, approval, admiration
      • show empathy
        • just listen
        • if they are sad, be sad with them, if they are happy be cheerful with them

  • softskills

    • only develop deeper relationships with the ones who meet my personal criteria

      • a commitment to conscious growth
      • not who are dishonest, abusive, irresponsible, apathetic, unaware

    • if you sense a compatible connection, lower your shields

      • one is naturally open and friendly
      • allow your feelings to guide you, and let the relationship develop as it may

    • go first; go positive

      • tit-for-tat
      • make this work for you by going positive and going first

    • being slightly kinder than average is rewarded while being somewhat less kind than average is punished asymmetrically

      • Respond with empathy and kindness when someone makes an inviting

        • empathy - share some's feelings or experiences

      • Be friendly and inviting if you realize the connection isn't right for you

        • friendly - behaving in a pleasant way

      • Be honest but gentle when you find it necessary to turn people down, careful not to desempower them

        • gentle - not violent, or strong

  • connection

    • energy audits

    • 这些事情很不开心，那一定是错的

      • 察觉这些问题
      • 是怎样的问题
      • 怎样解决这个问题
      • 记住 自己为什么要做这个，得到之后我们会有什么

    • friendly and comfortable with everyone

      • reconnect with feelings of appreciation or care for someone or something in your life
        • when you tune into the heart station, find responses that are much more stastifying to you and better for the whole
      • sensitive to others' needs, feelings, and emotions

    • commit to knowing yourself

      • when you've lost, try to connect yourself to those moments of pure happiness, of you and them rembmber how you felt

        • stay open to the happiness that life has to offer for us all

      • 每次小选择都作为了解自己的入口， 慢慢就可以看到更多真相

        • 每次小选择里改变思维方式，锻炼能力

    • 深度自我对话

      • Why do we feel certain emotions?

        • 引起我情绪的念头是 真的吗？
          • 当下我的生命中，什么才是真的
        • 只有我能对自己的情绪负责

      • 为什么要做这件事，它有多重要，多紧急

        • 区分有效欲望
        • 通过深度自我对话， 不断追问 “为什么要做这件事，它有多重要，多紧急”；理清不同目标的优先级

• DONE

  • connection

    • hiking

      • feel good to chat with someone in good mood in hiking
        • 努力让大家都开心， 自己也开心
        • 不要 刻意伤害别人
        • 注意保护自己
      • feel good to be around young guys

    • pass floral flower ticket

      • Mary 沟通能力很棒, 分寸感
        • 了解细节， 总结别人的， follow-up
        • “can I know the details?"
        • “looks good. been to ... few times before. I can make it”
        • "You or anyone else I know going also?"
        • "I noticed this. Wonder what kind of ..., as I want to do ... also"
        • "Nice. Thx for passing ... probably not so appealing for guys"
        • "OK, will enjoy it, and well noted their no show penalty. Thx"
        • "Fun workshop, today"
        • "It was really nice, thx again. I will look into ... shortly."

2022-11-07

• TODO

  • work

    • paper reading

    • programming

  • connection

    • understand yourself
      • 能清楚自己为什么要做某件事
      • 区分有效欲望
        • 通过深度自我对话， 不断追问 “为什么要做这件事，它有多重要，多紧急”；理清不同目标的优先级

  • health

    • a bit running

• Reflect

  • work

    • No paper work

    • structure your life so that you have the time and money to do what you love

      • making a living from doing what you love is the most obvious way

        • have to make money too - and the money will not follow

      • do what you love for a good life as an avocation, neither career nor hobby

        • especially that values self-expression
        • a fulfilling avocation - an activity someone is avocationcalled to doavocation in the life,it's part of who you are not just what you can do

      • a paid job - I like and I'm good at, providing me a comfortable living

      • hobby - enjoy doing

    • 好好做自己，把自己的长处发挥到最大限度

    • 只要你找到你爱的舞台，你的能量是无限的

    • The Golden Mean - a balance between our rationality and our animal drives

      • do it just right

        • do the right thing in the right way at the right time in the right place to the right person
        • don't do too much, and don't do too little

      • use common senste to start with, then we learn through trial and error

        • observe and learn from good examples, and being excellence takes practice
        • don't be disappointed at your failures

      • luck, good or bad, always plays its part

        • take challenges as opportunities to cultivate your strengths and work on your weakness

      • live a life of continual improvement (learn from your mistakes)

        • deliberate before taking any action for a better and more appropriate result

        • evaluate and seek further ways of improvement after taking any action

        • repeat the appropriate action and turn it into our habit

  • health

    • No exercise

  • connection

    • focus on the guy you are talking
      • 尽量少提不在场的人

• DONE

  • career

    • on programming

    • conscious leadership

      • taking full responsibility for the your livies
        • locate the cause and control of our lives in ourselves, not in external events
        • "what can we learn and how can we grow from this?"
          • open to the possibility that instead of controlling and changing the world, perhaps the world is just right the way it is

      • grow in self-awareness and curiosity as a path to rapid learning

        • commit to knowing yourself
        • 每一次小选择都作为了解自己的入口， 慢慢就可以看到更多真相
          • 每一个小选择里 改变思维方式， 锻炼能力，获得对应的成长
          • 对自己更好的认识， 进而 自信而不自负

      • Feel all Feelings

        • each feeling invites us in a specific way to grow in awareness and knowing
        • locate the feeling in the body and then vocalize the feeling
          • anger
          • fear
          • sadness
          • joy
          • excitement

      • conscious listening

        • listen for the content (head), the emotions (heart), and base desire (gut) being expressed by the other person

      • Appreciation

    • learning skills

      • First: Learn it by the mind <- virtual it
      • Then: Practice it by the hand
      • Finally: Do it by heart

  • health

    • milk + bread

  • connection

    • bible

      • 小事
        • "have a nice day" and go away

      • God loves me, and god uses me to save the others

        • 如何体会到 God 的爱？
        • I love you, I need you

      • chat with 曹

    • 好好做自己 => fairness

      • 把自己的长处发挥到最大限度 -> 好好做自己， 活出自己的樣子

        • develop your talents, explore the differences; This development can still be considered fair, even though it isn't equal
        • 唯有如此，我们的同类才能找到彼此，认出对方
          • 知道自己从来不是太奇怪
          • 知道自己不是孤孤单单

      • treat people according to their needs

        • 让 Dennis 领路

      • in a broader social context, balance the needs of the individual with the needs of the larger whole

    • You know you're good at something when you make decisions with your instincts not your conscious mind

      • 只要你找到你爱的舞台，你的能量是无限的
      • shift your attention on the heart area and breather slowerly and deeply
      • reconnect with feelings of appreciation or care in your life

  • others

    • 销户 + 补助申请

2022-10-31

• TODO

  • work

    • Do the most important tasks every day

  • connect on love

    • shift your attention on the heart area and breather slowly and deeply

    • express affection or care

      • reconnect with feelings of appreciation or care for someone or something in your life

      • appreciation - the act of recognizing or understanding that something is valuable, important, or as described

        • a recent accomplishment
        • point out a unique talent or skill you admire, or share a small detail that impresses you

      • care - the process of protecting someone or something and providing what that person or thing needs

    • enjoy each other's company

• DONE

  • work

    • paper reading
    • programming
    • setup python env

  • career

    • Your career is to express yourself through the meida of building
      • what you express
      • who you are
    • language
      • language exchanging

  • health

    • physics

      • 喝牛奶
      • play badminton on saturday
      • hiking

    • bible reading

  • relationship

    • understand yourself

      • 能清楚自己为什么要做某件事

    • BBQ

      • 自己做的太多，交流的太少

    • dinner with Liu wei

  • learning

    • oneness and courage on

    • reflect on your reactions and your approach

      • evaluate what you say into the value to the discussion

        • do you comment all mind and all words?
        • sensitive to the emotions, feelings
          • friendly + comfortable

      • your reactions are within your control

      • when you communicate with another person, you're exploring the depths of your own consciousness

• 30m reflect

  • relfect on your work, career, health, and relationship to maintain a clear vision of what you want and how to get there

2022-10-24

• TODO

  • Career

    • paper reading

    • Skills

    • language

      • more English

    • Reading

      • The Newbies Guide to Crypto

  • Health

    • appearance
      • 增重
      • exercise

  • Relationships

    • Hiking

  • Your spiritual connection

    • bible reading
    • alpha

  • Self

    • Think big
      • 自己限制了自己
      • Big & small goals take the same effort, why not go big ?

• self-reflection

  • conscious living

    • It's your job to understand yourself
      • The moment you understand yourself you'll feel at peace
    • 能清楚自己为什么要做某件事情,是一种有普遍价值的生活技能
      • 当你开放自信时，人们会欣赏; 当你迷失或虚伪时，人们一眼就可以看出来

  • passion

    • figure out what it is you burn for, and then live for it
    • the best way to protect your peace of mind and energy is by concentrating on what matters most you and your purpose

  • your relationships as external projections of the real you

    • the purpose of each relationshp is to teach you how to love yourself from the inside out
    • when you communicate with another person, you're exploring the depths of your own consciousness
    • when you learn to love everyone and everything, you come into aligment with your true self

  • softskills

    • 沟通技巧必你纯熟
    • 处事方式比你圆滑

  • Behave Masculine

    • strength

      • stop putting everyone else's needs ahead of your own
      • stop seeking approval from others and impress yourself instead

    • assertiveness

      • behave confidently and is not frightened to say what they want or believe
      • confident
        • the quality of being certain of your abilities or of having trust in people, plans, or the future

    • calm

      • peaceful, quiet, and without worry

    • leadership

    • courage, independence

• DONE

  • appearance

    • 增重

  • programming

  • language

    • more English

  • others

    • 开始办理销户

2022-10-17

• self-reflection

  • work

    • improve your cantonese and english

    • programming

      • python
      • js

    • explore web3

      • The Newbies Guide to Crypto

  • self

    • your relationships as external projections of the real you

      • the purpose of each relationshp is to teach you how to love yourself from the inside out
      • when you communicate with another person, you're exploring the depths of your own consciousness
      • when you learn to love everyone and everything, you come into aligment with your true self

    • appearance

      • 增重

    • being assertive in a polite way

      • behave confidently and is not frightened to say what they want or believe

    • apply what Bible's in your mind

    • • mange the relationships with families
      • love

    • 内省及由此而获得的自我认识

      • 能想清楚自己为什么要做某件事情，是一种有普遍价值的生活技能
      • 当你迷失或虚伪时，人们一眼就可以看出来；当你开放和自信时，人们会欣赏

  • improve

    • plan for the worst, hope for the best

• TODO

  • Conscious living

    • wealth <- career/business
    • creativity <- reading/chatting

  • TOREAD

2022-10-10

• 增重

• manage the relationships

  • can feel the love

• Identify your deepest values

  • TODO

    • your family values
      • education, leadership/service the community, honest, status
    • what do u do for a living?
      • wealth
      • appearance
      • creativity
    • how to spend your money on?
      • creativity

  • What comes from your heart

    • the heart maybe based on things like your past/experiences, needs/how you feel, and the present/other people around you,choices

  • practice how to listen to your heart

    • write what comes to you
      • write or think without letting in the doubting voice
      • "I have a feeling that ..."
      • "My heart tells me that ..."
    • find a quiet place where you can let your emotions and thoughts flow freely

  • practice to let your values play a big role in decision-making, but do so rationally

• self-reflection

  • 在沙田教区，感觉不够融入，不够信任

    • 作为一个学习的地方
    • 过度竞争 - 对手

  • 回应的时候 关注 与 交流者/听者的感受

    • 听者更注重自己的感受， 而不是事实和对错
    • 不要太直率 （关注事实和对错） 或者 太自我

2022-10-03

• Learn to observe your own mind

  • The patterns, the little things. What makes you overthink & anxious, what makes you happy, what works, what doesn't.
  • People, places, energies that nourish you & drain you. Take notes and study the patterns. It'll change your life.

• manage the relationship with Amos

• 增重

  • 多吃蛋白质： 肉，鱼，蛋，坚果

    • 蛋白質 是合成肌肉最重要的物質
    • 55*2 = 110 克

  • 碳水化物物： 白面包，米饭， 番薯

    • 牛奶，鸡蛋，酸奶， 巧克力棒

  • 高能量食物

    • 堅果： 杏仁，核桃，花生
    • 高脂： 牛奶，奶油
    • 肉
    • 穀物： 米飯，燕麥
    • 黑巧克力，花生醬
    • 配合不需要太多咀嚼食物比如香蕉

  • 技巧

    • 用餐前不要喝水
    • 喝全脂牛奶
    • 加晚餐

• 提高情绪智能

  • Use your heart/values within your rational thought process
    • use your judgment to figure out what kinds of environments you can thrive in,and then create an environment around you so you're statistically likely to succeed
  • 了解自己为什么有这个反应

• self

  • 开放好奇的心态

    • 了解别人怎么想，有什么值得学习，借鉴的地方

  • 自信心

    • 不要过多担心猜疑 是不是做对了

      • being assertive in a polite, and respectful way
        • if you don't want to do something, say so
        • if you've got a dissenting opinion and know in your heart that you're right, say so
        • 如果你有一个好想法，就说出来
      • 你想要什么，就去争取
        • 不要害怕去争取能让你的生活和自己变得更好的东西
        • 别人真心想去做，就支持； 这不是自私
      • 照顾好自己
        • 给自己与给他人相同的关心，就是一种自尊
        • 知道何时求助。 要对自己的能力有信心，但也要知道什么事情超出了自己的能力。不要在不必要的时候为难自己。

    • 倾听别人的同时也有足够的自信心把自己的经历敞开交流

      • 礼貌地表示不同意

        • 在反对之前试着了解对方的立场。先表明对对方立场的肯定，然后说出自己的观点。 比如“说得很好，但我的观点稍有不同...”

      • 选择策略

        • 有时说出自己的观点和看法是尊重他人学识的表现；有时，隐藏自己的观点和看法可以避免不必要的争端

2022-09-26

• how to build trusts

• how to manage the relationship with Amos

  • mentor ?

  • asking for advice

    • seeking advice and another's perspective can lead to long-term benefits makes people feel committed to your success (an investment).
    • we just flattered someone by seeking their advice if the request is not completely obvious
      • asking for advice shows deference and respect

    • follow up with everyone of your advice givers and let them know how much their insights have helped

      • if you didn't take their advice, it was their insight that helped you think about your situation in a different light, and that their unique perspective turned out to be essential for your success

    • self-promotion doesn't always work very well

  • coaching

    • learn how to break through other people's limiting and self-defeating beliefs to help them live a more empowered and successful life

  • 因为年龄，性别和阅历的差别，或者还没有见面的人

    • 应该保持一定的距离感， 不能像平辈好友一样随便， 给人举止轻浮的感觉
    • 让对方知道你的尊敬，感激之情
    • 开始上班后给对方汇报一下自己的感受和进展
    • 让对方参与到你的事业发展中来，这样很自然地增强了这种导师的指导关系

• focus more on your project

• Decision-Making

  • 不要太优柔寡断

    • Part of optionality is being willing to make changes
    • "One of the difficult things about making decisions is it reduces opportunity in the short term, but that's the only thing that really creates great opportunity in the long term. If you don't make decisions, you try to live too much in a liminal opportunity space, you might be just missing very big opportunities and not creating what the really big opportunities are"

  • How to make important decisions

    1. Think about the specifications - a detailed description of how something should be done, made, etc
       1.1 encourages opinions not facts (with relevance) firstly
       - people who voice an opinion also take responsibility for defining what needs to be looked at, atudied, and tested

    2. explore the alternatives
       2.1 find the appropriate measurement - a risk-taking judgment
       2.1.1 look for the 'feedback' before the decision
       2.2 insist on alternatives of measurement so that they can choose the one appropriate one
       2.2.1 one does not make a decision unless there is disagreement
       + disagreement alone can provide alternatives to a decision
       + disagreement is needed to stimulate the imagination - a new and different way of perceiving and understanding
       2.2.2 find out why people disagree + converned first with understanding
       + use conflict of opinion as a tool to make sure all major aspects of an important matter are looked at carefully

    3. the risks and gains weighted
       3.1 act if the benefits greatly outweight cost and risk
       3.2 act or do not act; no half-action

    4. Do not rush into a decision unless you are sure you understand it

    5. A decision requires courage as much as it requires judgment

  • 分享利益, 独立决定

    • 做决策并不想一次性解决所有问题, 而是追求在原有基础上取得进步, 有瑕疵也没关系

    • 独立决断背后是每一个人本身的责任

    • 负责人 先征求上下左右一些人(相关人)的意见, 拿出一个方案

      • 主要看有无遗漏,有无质疑的声音
      • 如有质疑, 评估一下是否有道理; 然后负责人自己就把这件事情决定了

  • 追求共好

    • 支持彼此的工作，肯定彼此的努力，不受困于个人的恩怨好恶
    • 分享利益, 决策自己做就好了

  • Think about which leadership style would be most useful for the goals of your ogranization?

    • what can you do in the next 30 days to begin to develop and cultivate this style?
    • Who can be part of your support system in your leadership development?
    • each of us is a work in progress, and we are never complete

• insight

  • "Forget rich versus poor, white-collar versus blue. It's now leveraged versus un-leveraged."

• Cultural Intelligence

  • a person's capability to adapt effectively to new cultural contexts

  • you understand the other person's worldview

    • affect how we motivate people in our organizations
      • 以前会觉得这样不真诚
      • 这个是 其实是 尊重别人的一种表现

  • Face Cultures

    • people derive their self worth from earning the respect of others
    • people are often embedded in stable, hierarchical relationships

  • Dignity Cultures

    • believe in speaking their mind and being self-reliant
    • their own self worth is self determined and they are very comfortable engaging in direct, rational, fact-based conversation
    • status and titles are not nearly as important as information and talent

• 更好的沟通

  • 在不得罪人的情况下， 能做出成绩，很快会遇到同盟进而受人尊重和喜欢

  • 别过分在意别人怎么看你，想想该怎么去实现你的目标

    • 讲话和做事特别的直来直去，私下则非常轻松愉快，还会常常组织大家出去 Happy Hour
    • 坚定地告诉别人， 我要做什么什么了，如果有反对意见请提出来
    • 坚定，包括肯定且确切地表达正面或负面的意见

  • 对做事情要有Ownership

    • 不要潜意识地撇清和推诿责任

  • 不要把过分亲的关系当回事

    • 不要把人想的太好

    • 善良的人会从你的最大利益出发, 对你好

      • 判断不清楚对方对自己好的目的, 也看不到自己所作所为的后果
      • 小人在对我们好的时候, 根本没有考虑我们的最大利益, 只想赚他们自己的利益

• 尊重他人的观点

  • 倾听对方

    • 注视对方，安静地听对方在讲什么，并思考对方的观点
    • 即使不同意，在反驳之前，也要试着站在对方角度，理解对方
    • 倾听，并让他人自己做决定时一种尊重

  • 问问题

    • 问一些开放性，引导性的问题，让对方觉得你是认真听，并消化吸收了自己观点
    • 提问可以让对方讲的更深入
      • 根据特定话题，问下对方的感受，而不是追问细节； 问“之后你觉得怎么样？”，即使你知道答案，也要让对方自己说出自己的情况
      • 问几个针对他的问题，引导他打开话闸子； “你觉得xxx怎么样？”

  • 礼貌地表示不同意

    • 在反对之前试着了解对方的立场。 先表明对对方立场的肯定，然后说出自己的观点。 比如“说得很好，但我的观点稍有不同...”
    • 对人不对事

  • 学会站在别人的角度考虑问题

  • 选择策略

    • 有时说出自己的观点和看法是尊重他人学识的表现； 有时，隐藏自己的观点和看法可以避免不必要的争端
    • 如果你说出某个争端，试着将气氛缓和下来； 可以将自己观点表述出来，听听他们如何争辩； “你觉得呢？”
    • 有时争论过无数次，都没结果，可以不必提起这个话题

2022-09-19

• softskills in work

  • 顺从，尊重，平等， 没有负面情绪

  • Respect

    • Take responsibility for your actions

    • ownership

      • I define it, although I respect you
      • Finish what you start. If you do, own up to it and maintain the respect

    • if you can do something by yourself, don't ask for help.

    • you should ask for help when you really need it.

      • This shows people that you're humble and know your limits. It also shows that you're open to being vulnerable with others. this will gain people's respect.

  • confident yet courteous (polite, showing respect)

    • know you're worth and also be kind (humble and don't look down on others)
    • 我不跟人比 但我跟自己相处很好所以我自信

  • cultures

    • face cultures

      • people derive their self worth from earning the respect of others

    • dignity cultures

      • believe in speaking their mind and being self-reliant
      • their self worth is self determined and they are very comfortable engaging in direct, rational, fact-based conversation
      • status and titles are not nearly as important as information and talent

  • 自己有掌控力的感觉很好

    • 自己设计了去大澳的hiking计划

• love

  • positive, open-minded

  • understanding

    • listen to her, add in your thoughts, and understand her

      • liten to her for 5 minutes,tell her it's going to be ok, then change the topic
      • when a trait or feeling comes up, that you agree with, tell her
      • 一起面对你们的问题和担扰，不要过于克制和隐藏，这样她才知道你信任她，你们两个会更亲近
      • she will feel a 'connection' with you and her interest will rise

    • 同理心会话

      • 了解对方的感受，将心比心
        • 听感觉问自己 ”她正体验什么样的情绪“
      • 简单描述听到和看到的事情，并对情绪感受之共鸣
        • “听你讲... 感觉你很...”
      • 温柔
        • “我到底错在哪，你能否告诉我”

    • Just listen for and reflect feelings unless she asks you to solve problem

      • she just wants you to listen

  • caring

    • support her
    • do things that make her feel enriched

• love

  • 要想让爱情持久，须经提纯过程， 要不断地去除杂质 （负面情绪）
    • 在爱的过程中 细细体味， 能够真切地感觉到这个提纯的过程， 也是生命的提纯过程
    • 在这个不断提纯的过程中， 生命得到净化，成为一个无比清澈美好的存在
  • 就像一块粗糙的石头 小心剖开， 发掘出 其中 晶莹剔透的宝玉； 就像一片芜杂的噪音中 分辨出悦耳的旋律

  • 不断去除 负面（不利于身心健康的）情绪， 如 嫉妒， 计较， 比较， 怨恨

    • 嫉妒： 为什么是她不是我得到了
    • 比较： 为什么她得到的比我多
    • 怨恨： 为什么我没有她幸运
    • 伤感： 为什么他不像我爱他那么爱我

  • 保留下正面的（有利于身心健康的）东西， 如 欢喜， 欣赏， 温柔， 热爱

    • 欣赏： 她怎么会如此美好
    • 温柔： 她怎么会如此可爱
    • 喜欢： 她怎么会如此聪明
    • 热爱： 她怎么会如此罕见
    • 惊喜： 我怎么会如此幸运
    • 狂喜： 由于她的存在引发了我的爱情，我爱了

2022-09-13

• 面对压力和不确定性
  • 真有可能不太适合创业

2022-09-05

• Framework

  • SELF

    • health
    • EQ
    • mindset

      • 爱 -》 自信 -》 独立 -》 选择 -》 创造力 -》 领导力

        • 爱 <- 圣经， 家人
        • 自信 <- stay humble but know your worth

        • 独立 <- the ability to live your life without being helped or influenced by other people

          • optimize for independence
          • 这意味着自由

        • 选择

          • 努力用在选择上，前期投入大量工作
            • 放弃对确定性的执着，顺势而为
            • 认清楚自己想要什么，然后去做，不会给自己设限
          • accountability
            • responsible for what you do and must be able to give a satisfactory reason fot it

        • 创造力

          • invest your skills/creativity
          • some gift - a skill, a craft, a talent, a knock - gives us pleasure and engage us,and the path to our happiness often lies within that gift

        • 领导力

          • leadship - delegate it, automate it, or leave it

  • love

    • Ivy

      • I can make sure with Ivy
      • 很深的情绪体验
      • I feel that she is 善良+能干

    • families

  • business

    • 架构师 + 企业家

      • 软件 - 产品 - 生意

    • engineering

    • people skills

    • languages

    • wealth

• TOIMPROVE

  • finish current project

    • TOCHECK

  • mindset

    • The Great CEO Within
    • Think Bayes, 2nd by Allen Downey
    • 参加一些meetup
    • 多读传记

  • engineering

    • 完成 軟件工程之美

    • 完成一些书

      • The Art of Clean Code by Christian Mayer
      • system design
      • A Philosophy of Software Design by John Ousterhout
      • Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs

    • 参加一些开源项目

    • 实际开发一些项目
    • 交流

  • love

    • 多和Ivy 交流
    • 读 《Relationship Magic》

  • EQ

    • 先完成 《Permission to Feel》

  • languages

    • 英文发音课
    • 英文写作课
    • 练广东话
    • 参加一些meetup

  • business

    • [Leaving the Rat Race with Python An Insiders Guide to Freelance Developing]

• DONE

  • finish a bit about interpreter project

    • a bit happy

  • Don't finish the project

  • energy management

  • EQ

    • 沙田区的 过于学生思维，感觉不太适合现在的自己
      • 阶段和年龄不一样了
      • 可以跟读圣经

  • 买了意外险

  • 上了一次语言课

  • 最近作息不好

2022-08-29

• review on how you make decisions

  • 逃避，害怕去面对
    • 同情心
    • 害怕责任
    • 任务完成度
    • 承担后果
    • no self-care

• love

  • acievement or accomplishment (achieved after a lot of work or effort)

    • by creating a work or doing a deed
    • nurture your functional excellence - a talent, a skill, a craft, a knack

  • experience

    • experiencing something - such as goodness, truth, and beauty - by experiencing nature and culture or, by experiencing another human being in his very uniqueness - by loving her.

  • find your true purpose, and nurture your functional excellence

    • "each of us has some gift - a talent, a skill, a craft, a knack - that gives us pleasure and engage us, and the path to our happiness often lies within that gift"

  • nurture him with love, support and encouragement from his parents

• focus - think - decide - act

  • you need act more

你到底在害怕什么

• 你到底在害怕什么？

  • fear -> angry, upset, worried, uninspired, sad
  • 当我们面对内心的恐惧时， 抛开“应该” ,然后我们就会发现“烦”随之消散，结果比我们规划的还要好
  • 引起我情緒的那些念頭都是真的嗎？
    • 當下，我的生命中，什麼才是真的？
      • 自己，家人，事业
    • 我提醒自己，只有我能对自己的情绪负责，从真实发生的事情中进入当下

• Set yourself free from fear

  • the freedom would empower one to face failure courageously
  • Fear is temporary. Regret is forever
  • already been living through the worst times

  • see this as an opportunity to be a new start

  • forgiveness can set you free

    • "I forgave all of those kids who mocked and teased me. I forgave them to unburden myself of anger and resentment. I like myself"

making good decisions

• focus on the process of making a decision

  • emotions are crucial in helping us come to a decision
  • need to listen to our feelings because we often have to live with the decisions that we have made
    • some of our deep-deated emotional reactions might come from those aspects of our personality that we are not able to change
  • the heart has its reasons which reason does not know

• use a pros and cons list

  • good reasons or good consequences

• spend more time thinking carefully about a difficult and important decision

• Bayesian

  • observe -> find patterns -> create a short-cut framework -> realize your framework sucks

    • ask open-ended quesitons
    • seeing some patterns in the answers
    • make a framework from these patterns. now I can make decisions quickly
    • wait, this is a situation my framework does not account for

  • 先有碎片而后不断构建框架

    • 不断根据新的碎片 修正甚至打破旧的框架 并构建新的框架， 开始比较慢，但最终会后来居上
      • 先有框架后有碎片，容易上手，开始会看上去遥遥领先，但后面就僵化而无法增长
      • 框架固化后 最大坏处 是容易偏执的去 “占小便宜吃大亏”， 因为已经成为本

  • 不断的打破和构建自己的认知

2022-08-15

• TODO

  • Think about your next step

  • 能量提升

    • Start your day before the SUN - you can feel like a winner
    • 内心戏
      • 叫停内心戏的关键在于觉察，一旦觉察在内心编故事，赶快叫停止损
    • 压力
      • 写下来，辩真伪； 伪->不管； 真- 定解决方案

  • 努力用在选择上, 前期投入大量工作

    • take calculated risks, be willing to work harder than anyone else
    • self-care
      • 真诚 - 是体谅自己的同时 也体谅对方， 而不是过多付出
      • choose your friends
        • stop feeling guilty for choosing peace over people

  • invest your creativity, skills and efforts into solving big/hard problems and you will receive big rewards

• SELF

  • Master your emotions

    • everyone makes mistakes, what people want to see is how you respond to it and improve

    • 觉察他人对自己的影响，同时分辨出自己内心的声音，同时做出自己相应的选择

    • Self care

      • stop feeling guilty for choosing peace over people

  • 自信是对自己有合适，客观的看法 - 全然接纳真实的自我

    • 我知道自己大概做到了什么程度，这时别人对我们的评价很重要; 但一旦自己有了概念，就需要从外界认可带来的自信过渡到内生的自我接纳和自信心

      • 从寻求认可 到寻求支持， “我想做的事是这样，你可不可以支持我”
      • assertive, 有自己的东西； 有需要就一定会说出来，把他的要求说出来

    • stay humble but know your worth

    • focus on what you want rather than what you don't want

    • Don't over-apologize unless you did something wrong

      • express your sympathy (understanding or caring) or regret without actually apologizing
      • "I hope this hasn't been too much trouble" not "I'm sorry"

    • act like a boss

  • optimize for independence (without being helped or influenced by other people) rather than pay whenever you can in life

    • if you have independence and you're accountable (responsible for what they do and must be able to give a satisfactory reason for it) on your output, as opposed to your input - that's the dream

    • Accountability is something you can take on immediately

      • find things that interest you and allow you to take on accountability
      • you can put yourself in a position to learn quickly
      • you offer to help and become the owner's solving their fundraising problem
      • you build specific knowledge by taking accountability for things that other people don't know how to do
        • people will line up behind you, and the leverage will come
        • you have to put yourself in positions where you can exercise judgement

    • Take responsibility for your actions

      • if you do, own up to it; Finish what you start
      • if you can do something by yourself, don't ask for help
      • you should ask for help when you really need it. This shows people that you're humble and know your limits. It also shows that you're open to being vulnerable with others. this will gain people's respect.

  • invest your creativity, skills and efforts into solving big/hard problems and you will receive big rewards

    • if the work doesn't require creativity, delegate it, automate it, or leave it

    • it's leveraged versus un-leveraged

      • forget rich versus poor, white-collar versus blue
      • code, media, capital, labor

    • 努力用在选择上， 前期投入大量工作

• 积极沟通

  • 有问题一定要积极沟通

    • 对方说出问题所在，耐心听取对方的感受； 沟通当中使对方明白自己，同时对对方的反馈重视他的感受和发言，从而化解误会

    • 遇到问题千万不要逃避

      • 逃避责任，和恐惧 -> 害怕受罚/被人抛弃
      • 零和游戏的过多竞争

    • talk to smart colleagues

      • 仔细挑选游戏玩家 - 努力用在选择上
        • 极端思维
        • 不要玩零和游戏
      • Drop those who are constantly judging you
        • get away from people to take you down

  • 理解或了解对方的想法，同时也了解她对我的看法

    • 有时候太封闭自己
    • fear
    • 零和游戏下的过度竞争

• social skills

  • 保持和大圈子不脱节，小圈子真心聊得来
    • 不需要削尖脑袋挤入最主流， 自己找到舒适的小圈子，和最主流和平相处即可

• love

  • 两个人在一起久了，最终还是两个脑子和心灵的交流

    • 能聊得来，思想意识在类似的水平上
    • you are hot as well, that's a bonus

  • 喜欢对方的外形，更看重对方的精神世纪

    • 眷恋她的身体，眷恋她的灵魂

  • 理解和支持对方 - 心灵导师

    • 眼神和动作传达支持的信息
      • “are you ok?”
      • "what's up?"
    • 让她明白这些造成压力的事件并没那么可怕
      • 明确帮忙分析

    • 情感支持

      • 需要被理解和被认可，就算有错，也别着急责怪他们

    • 根据对方需求调整帮助

      • 要明白对方真正想要的帮助是什么

    • close enough

      • liten to her for 5 minutes,tell her it's going to be ok, then change the topic
      • listen to her and add in your thoughts;don't try to fix her problems, understand them
        • when a trait or feeling comes up, that you agree with, tell her
        • she will feel a 'connection' with you and her interest will rise

  • a strong personality

    • 爱自己, 把最好的自己送给爱人
    • when he speaks, he speaks with passion
    • when he listens, he makes me feel like i am the only one in his world

  • women

    • women wants to add value to his life, not be the centre of his world
    • women want to feel the exception, unique
    • men want to feel needed

2022-08-08

• TODO

  • Think about your next step

  • more communication with Amon

  • 我们有能力，拣选要做的，我自己就去做

  • 规划力

• DONE

  • love

    • make a good connection with ivy's families

  • 搬完家

    • how to make full use of it

  • hiking

    • OK, amon is so happy, and mary is a good communicator

• SELF

  • 周二感觉到无助

    • 朋友
    • 多学习 细心 和 如何关爱别人

  • 努力用在选择上， 前期投入大量工作

  • 改正 因精神懒惰而带来的那种宿命情绪，而导致给自己找主子

    • 我们有能力，拣选要做的，我自己就去做
    • "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline" - 提后1-7
    • 相信神的心，对神的话有信心，相信神的话(神不会错)

• 多沟通

  • 试着 理解或了解她多一点， 同时也了解她对我的看法，了解这个人

    • 有时候太封闭自己

      • fear
      • 零和游戏下的过度竞争

    • love

    • stay humble but know your worth

  • 有问题一定要沟通，遇到问题千万别逃避不谈

    • 对方说出问题所在不要打断对方发言，耐心听取对方的感受；沟通当中使对方明白自己，同时对对方的回馈重视他的发言，从而化解误解

  • 明辨是非

    • 主要看是否有道理和事实，无论是否别有用心，否则再干净也不行（道德评判）

  • 是从“淘汰” 到 “成全”

2022-08-01

• follow jesus

  • “活是向神活着”

• lessons

  • self-respect is true confidence

    • 支持自己
      • 不要害怕去争取能让你的生活和自己变得更好的东西
      • being assertive in a polite, courteous, and respectful way
        • 如果你有一个好想法，就说出来
      • Take responsibility for your actions
        • If you do, own up to it
        • if you can do something by yourself, don't ask for help.
        • you should ask for help when you really need it. This shows people that you're humble and know your limits. It also shows that you're open to being vulnerable with others. this will gain people's respect.

  • optimize for independence (without being helped or influenced by other people) rather than pay whenever you can in life

    • if you have independence and you're accountable (responsible for what they do and must be able to give a satisfactory reason for it) on your output, as opposed to your input - that's the dream

    • Take responsibility for your actions

      • if you do, own up to it; Finish what you start
      • if you can do something by yourself, don't ask for help
      • you should ask for help when you really need it. This shows people that you're humble and know your limits. It also shows that you're open to being vulnerable with others. this will gain people's respect.

  • business/work

    • work on hard problems and talk to smart colleagues

      • work on hard problems till it's simple, then think about how I would coach my former self through it

      • invest your creativity, skills and efforts into solving big problems and you will receive big rewards

      • if the work doesn't require creativity, delegate it, automate it, or leave it
      • it's leveraged versus un-leveraged
        • forget rich versus poor, white-collar versus blue
        • code, media, capital, labor

    • do everything manually first to get started and then build software to automate everything second for scale

      • 努力用在选择上， 前期投入大量工作

    • focus on developing and cultivating your plan, when you have your plan and you can feel it's right for you

      • what others are doing won't matter
      • comparison dies when your vision becomes clear
      • concentrate your energy on what you're doing

    • Accountability is something you can take on immediately

      • find things that interest you and allow you to take on accountability
      • you can put yourself in a position to learn quickly
      • you offer to help and become the owner's solving their fundraising problem
      • you build specific knowledge by taking accountability for things that other people don't know how to do
        • people will line up behind you, and the leverage will come
        • you have to put yourself in positions where you can exercise judgement

  • 和内地人打交道的经验

    • 比较绝对/极端 <- 被拉黑

  • 每天确定3件最重要的事情

    • 最重要通常是最不舒服/焦虑的

    • 每天至少6个小时的专注时间在这些事情上

• bussiness is a microcosim of life

  • entrepreneurship is for everyone

  • it's training to live a better life

  • entrepreneurship is about leveling up yourself, so you can level up your business

2022-07-25

• TODO

  • your work

• softskills

  • talk to girls

    • listen to her and add in your thoughts; don't try to fix her problems, understand them

    • when a trait or feeling comes up, that you agree with, tell her

    • she will feel a 'connection' with you and her interest will rise

  • talk slow when you speak, and smile during every interaction

  • Never trust a guy who is insecure

    • insecure people have little confidence and are uncertain about their own abilities or if other people really like them

• self

  • Trust yourself anytime

    • you've survived a lot and you will survive whatever is coming

  • assertive

    • behave confidently and is not frightened to say what they want or believe

  • Being a giving person and having boundaries walk hand in hand

2022-07-20

• 花费在找房子的时间好长

  • 覺察

    • 没想好自己需要住什么 以及 注意周围环境的变化

  • 知道自己要住什么样的房子，然后按照自己的意愿去找

    • 工作和薪水的问题

• lifestyle

  • Be curious
  • Try everything
  • Note what you like
  • Note what don't like

Laser in, systemize, and make a living out of what you like.

Automate, delegate, or delete (without hesitation) what you don't.

Repeat and refine until you create your desired lifestyle.

2022-07-04

• 人生意义

  • 弄好事业
  • 找对爱人
    • fall in love with souls, not faces

• Improve your engineering skill

  • 提高规划力 - how
    • 概念和可行性计划
  • programming

• Improve your communication skills

  • 提高你的英文和广东话的能力

  • 同理心

    • 感知对方想法，觉察并处理自身情绪，从而做出正确反应的能力
    • 体会他人的感受，细听之情感连结
    • 代入对方，感知对方的世界

  • 倾听的能力以及交流能力

    • ask good questions
    • 与陌生人交流是进入对方语境
    • 与朋友交谈时了解没有被过滤的真实

  • 观察细节的能力

• self-caring

  • Don't give away your emotions for free

    • stop feeling responsible for how they treat you; it is not your worth and not you
    • choose the non-emotional response to any given situation

  • 用事实和逻辑去看问题

    • 国人习惯用 敌友看问题
      • 只有利益, 没有是非; 只有敌友, 没有事实
      • 只问立场, 不问对错是非
    • 没有建立自己的是非观
      • 一切以别人眼光为是非标准，要不就是取悦别人，要不就是试探别人底线

  • work only with people You respect and like

2022-06-28

• DONE

  • meeting for the proposal
  • fix the blog code theme
  • paper reading
  • bible meetup
  • cantonese meetup
  • English meetup
  • hiking

• TODO

  • feel good to be in bible meetup

    • common background

  • maybe it's time to leave this job

    • tired on AI topic

  • improve your english

  • it's good

    • manage your relationship with amos

  • 锻炼自己的观察力 - 细微的差别

    • 细节决定一切
    • 思考和观察上比较懒惰

2022-06-13

• TODO

  • know more about your priorities and focus more

    • your health, your families, your mission (business)

  • more effective and efficient

• your health

  • mental health
  • body
    • good point is that you sleep earlier and get up earlier
  • EQ - Emotional Intelligence

• your love

  • learn the love language

• your mission / business

  • mindset

    • fear ?

  • skills

    • Complex Problem Solving
    • Critical Thinking
    • Judgment and Decision Making

  • jobs/business

2022-06-07

• TODO
  • 补考驾照
  • 中国银行香港的服务
  • 拔智齿

2022-05-30

• skills

  • coding

    • python
    • ~javascripts~
    • sicp
    • interpreters and comiplers

  • language

    • english
    • cantonese

  • Emotional intelligence

• wealth

  • Entrepreneur

    • mindsets + perspective
    • Microeconomics
    • Game Theory

  • business

  • investment on assets

• families

  • a lovely family

• friends

  • avoid toxic people

2022-05-03

• self

  • be yourself, but be your best self

  • live a more empowered and successful life

    • have fun, do good, make money

• wealth

  • feel great to receive the salary
    • emergency funds

• softskills

  • active listening
    • encourage + mirroring

  • questions

    • negative assumption questions for the truth

  • detect

    • match between words and actions
    • words is more 30% than actions

  • English is so bad

  • love

    • caring
    • good with communication
    • make me laugh

• business

  • model

    • concept - customer value
    • personal goals - effort, cost, benefit
    • business goals - how to success & compete

  • don't argue or say different opinions

  • Success is finding a path forward among the options that actually exist

2022-04-25

• responsibility - proper boundaries

  • taking responsibility for your own problems, and stop taking responsibility for other people's problems
  • TODO

• self

  • lessons

    • 过于强调绝对（100%）理念，看重确定性

    • 自利 + （平均）理想主义

      • 只要有底线即可，无求风骨
      • 不要过于相信 西方媒体的话

    • each of us is a work in progress, and we are never complete

    • “我怕你要他是对的，我以为他比我好，现在我知道他不是，他只是比我有钱”

  • 自我肯定，自我表达，自我突破

    • 接受真实的自己，不否定自己， 不为难自己

      • 能对自己负责的人 <- 独立的人格
      • 不要让别人定义自己
      • 没有期待，坦然面对
      • 能解决就解决，解决不了就等待，问题都会过去

    • have fun, do good, make money

      • 体验这个过程，保持好奇
      • 放松，自在，自如
      • 爱是 包容，忍耐，相信，盼望

    • 交换和合作 - 把精力用在更需要你的地方

  • 自由社会

    • 人的思维自由和政治社会活动自由都是从个人的意识里产生的

    • 自由地追求作为中产社会阶层的所有活动； 通过一个自我肯定的过程，以及对周围的社会和政治环境有发言权的愿望，而这一切，如果没有思想自由，表达自由和新闻自由，都是不可能的

    • 要以科学，人道，进步和可持续性为重要指导方针，如何把这个社会变得更文明，更人道，更科学，而不是更野蛮，更没人性，更残酷

    • 因精神懒惰而带来的那种宿命情结而导致的那份给自己找主子, 在集体中寻找个人价值同时伺机破坏规则的狡黠

• coach

  • learn how to break through limiting and self-defeating beliefs to live a more empowered and successful life

  • 心智模式 依赖确定性

    • 过于强调绝对（100%）理念，看重确定性
    • 只要有底线即可，无求风骨

  • 在确定性的框架内, 内部人才高度竞争, 不能容纳失败, 结果就是过度管理, 所有人都以确定为荣

    • 不确定是恐惧, 是慌张; 失败, 是羞耻,是污点
    • 中国官场的底线是最低的，因为黑箱作业，底线低的会取胜

  • 而创新, 创意, 从萌芽到长成, 就是与不确定与失败一路相伴

    • 科技创新 先于法律法规监管， 但垄断， 美国更关注一家企业的高市场占有率是怎么得来的
    • 在美国，只要有经过市场机制，就很难认定是垄断 <- 关注的是过程
    • 中国官方关注的是 不能让一或两家企业享有绝对的支配地位，当就会不安 <- 关注的是结果

• detect

  • manipulaton

    • focus on repeated actions, both the good & bad ones
    • negative energy, dishonesty, bad vibes, hostility

  • TODO

2022-04-19

• self

  • you have made the choice, and you wanna know why

  • 不要否定自己，接受真实的自己

    • 想活得真实一点，无须遮掩和躲藏； 想用自己的天赋，给自己挣一份安稳
    • 自我表达，自我突破
    • 能解决就解决，解决不了就等待，总会过去

  • Lead your life

    • don't let the others lead your life

  • "which one of the world's big problems would you solve?"

    • 贫穷

• GOD

  • 使基督借着信，安家在你们心里，叫你们在爱里生根立基

    • mind, emotion, will, conscience
    • 体验这个过程，保持好奇 <- the same as the career/work

  • small acts of kindness & love

    • hiking的过程中帮助他们越过障碍

• love

  • 用心 -> 要试下
  • 尊重她，疼她
  • 要令你整个人提升

• proper boundaries - responsibility

  • taking responsibility for your own problems, and stop taking responsibility for other people's problems
  • TODO

2022-04-11

• love

  • 用心去沟通， 感觉那种feeling
  • experience God's good, pleasing and perfect will
  • care people, help people
  • live different
    • Do not conform to the pattern of this world
    • 选择 接纳和改变的部分

• keeping things simple is a powerful skill

  • articulate your thoughts clearly and intuitively

    • It's relatively easy to produce deep, detail-oriented, complex thinking

  • automate as much of your investing as possible

  • choose your friend group

    • meet someone who has the similar mindsets, attitudes & vision as you is better than finding a soul mate
    • stop giving time and energy for people that don't give a fuck about you

• 不自信 -> 全然接纳真实的自我

  • 建立自信的前提 是我知道自己大概做到了什么程度，这时别人对我们的评价很重要
    但一旦自己有了概念，就需要从外界认可带来的自信过渡到内生的自我接纳和自信心

  • 对自己不接纳

    • 把评价自己的权利 拱手让给别人，希望通过别人的接纳来证明自己

  • 全然接纳真实的自我

    • 我当然会努力， 但努力的原因不是你告诉我满分是100分，我只有80分， 而是 因为我知道自己可以做得更好

  • 寻求支持， 自己争取，不依赖别人

    • 从寻求认可 到寻求支持， “我想做的事是这样，你可不可以支持我”
    • 有主见， 不依赖别人， 要自己争取
    • assertive, 有自己的东西； 有需要就一定会说出来，把他的要求说出来

  • 自信是对自己有合适，客观的看法

    • 一个人 即不把自己看得过于强大，也不把自己看得过于弱小
      • 积极面对自己，积极面对他人
      • 用正確的态度欣赏他人的优点

  • 相信自己有价值、有能力，并努力与他人建立亲密、有意义的联系，但并不认为自己高人一等

    • 而自恋者认为自己比别人优越，但自我价值感不一定很强。事实上，由于自恋者通常缺乏自我安全感，他们的自尊感几乎完全依赖于他人的认可。

2022-04-04

• TODO

  • 素养，价值观的锻炼

    • 学懂 合群精神， 领导能力， 组织能力

  • 进取，合群

    • 有主见， 不依赖别人， 要自己争取
    • assertive, 有自己的东西； 有需要就一定会说出来，把他的要求说出来

  • 重读 《力量从哪里来》

• softskills

  • 沟通需要 用脑分析对方的 核心诉求， 用心听懂对方 更深层的情绪

    • 花时间理解核心问题是什么， 可以少做很多不必要的工作

  • look at what your peers doing or just ask people how they perceive you

  • spend your time in ways that will benefit you and your employer

    • spend all your time at work delivering business value

  • 对团队要表达善意， 对有才华的混蛋说不

    • 破坏团队的心理安全和协作效能
    • 透明坦诚，相互尊重

  • 自己总会自由成长

    • 帮助他们自我梳理，找到对自己的情绪想法和身体感受的感知，建立信心； 这仿佛 植物给了 充足的阳光，水，养料， 自己总会自由成长

• self

  • what you focus and put your energy on is what's amplified

    • when you are suck, you can be grateful or suck

  • 放弃完美

    • 学会寻求帮助
    • 提醒自己，有些事情没那么重要

  • 自信是对自己有合适，客观的看法

    • 一个人 即不把自己看得过于强大，也不把自己看得过于弱小

      • 积极面对自己，积极面对他人
      • 用正確的态度欣赏他人的优点

    • 从尋求認可 到 尋求支持； 从外界认可 过渡到 内生的自我接纳和自信心

    • confidence is realizing that you have no reason to compare yourself to anyone else

• 学识，素养，价值观

  • 知识经济： 一工多能， 创意能力

  • 有视点，清晰自己想走的路途，以及在这个路途里要有很多学习

    • 学懂 领导能力， 合群精神 和 组织能力 <- 组织

  • 诚实，乐观，进取，合群

    • 有主见， 不依赖别人， 要自己争取
    • assertive, 有自己的东西； 有需要就一定会说出来，把他的要求说出来
    • 冒险精神， 不要怕输，不要怕错
    • 要感谢人

  • 全球化眼光

    • 向外跑的传统
    • 胡适带有爱心

2022-03-27

• TODO

  • 家庭越来越重要

  • 职业目标 -> 公司越来越重要

    • 钱, 自由, 创造力

  • focus more and learn to say no

  • english, cantonese

• 不断根据新的碎片 修正甚至打破旧的框架 <- 经验主义

  • observe -> pattern -> framework (decision quickly) -> adjust (self-reflection)

    • 训练自己了解周围的世界， 具体的生活体验

      • life must be felt, not observed

    • 把自己放在生活中， 安然所遭遇的一切

      • 享用自身的存在，自身的感受，此生的快乐
      • 把自己放在生活中， 安然所遭遇的一切
      • 爱的时候，充分体验到人心的美好
      • 感受美的时候， 充分体验世界的美

  • self-reflection

    • your intent should not be to merely describe what happened, but to explore WHY it happened, and what it means
    • 做了哪些事情，观察是怎么来的， 而不是结论

• 在生命/性情上 靠近神

  • 通过祷读神的话，来消化吸收，成为自己的一部分，并且内化到自己的生活中
  • “圣经都是神的呼出，对于教训，督责，改正，在义上的教导，都是有益的”

• know yourself

  • never apologize to anyone for being who you are

    • once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you

  • don't like the boring service

    • 机械的工作

  • 谈话对象很重要

  • 钱越来越变成一个重要的问题

  • 反应越来越慢

• skills

  • some python on dynamic attributes
  • driving

2022-03-13

• 内心冲突

  • focus on more lessons

• self-care

  • 一报还一报
  • 提前占据有利位置

• more actions

daily discoveries

• chociesless observation, honestly, wholeheartedly always doing one's best
• indomitable, obsessive dedication

Plan on 2022

• Self

  • families

    • girlfriend with Ivy

  • self-awareness

    • try to be with GOD
    • more peaceful; dependent on GOD
    • 理性追问提供一个终点，一个安息之处，于是心灵可以安住下来

  • more exericses

• career

  • entrepreur / start-ups

    • building a business from scratch will teach you more about yourself than about business

    • you can remove yourself from ones who don't value and respet you

    • Entrepreneurship isn't about the money. It’s about owning your own life

  • build engines

    • Engineering Software as a Service

  • invest/money

• skills

  • English
  • coaching
  • engineering/programming
  • driving
  • movies

• notes on lessons and self-reflections