The log of your life

2024-10-07

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • reading
      • [来自民间的判逆]
      • [How will you measure your life]
      • [萨提尔的自我觉察练习]
      • [Permission to Feel Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive]
      • [HBR Guide to Being a Great Bs]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • demo

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • Intention is all -> action

      • Intention
      • Do

    • Responsibility is an attitude

      • no victim

    • 学习表达

      • 一个人对你重要的话，就要表现出来

    • Health

      • physical health
        • dress well
        • exercise, fit body
      • emotional health
        • master your emotion
        • 写下来,辨真伪
          • 真,定解决方案
          • 假,不管
        • 内心戏 - 觉察
          • 一旦觉察在内心编故事,赶快叫停止损

    • being a giving person and having boundaries

      • step back if you find yourself giving more energy than you receive
      • self care
        • don't give your emotions for free
        • stop feeling guilty for choosing peace over people, you are the first

    • focus on what you want rather than what you don't wanna

    • learn to control your emotions, and share your problems with your peers and brothers instead of women

    • 品行独立和自力更生的自由人

      • 克制自己的欲望, 理性对待外部世界
        • 使自然欲望转为良好习惯
        • 争执的限度,与人相处的礼貌

      • 知道分寸

        • 之所以得到某个东西，不是因为能使他们感到高兴，而是因为它适合于他们
        • 凡不能控制自己的爱好，不知道如何抗拒当下的快乐和痛苦的纠缠； 以便听从理性的告诫的人，便缺乏德性和勤勉的真正原则，就有流为一无所能，一事无成的威胁

      • Try your best

        • then it's ok you lose

    • Confident

      • being certain of your abilities or having trust in people, plans, or the future
      • assertive
        • someone who is assertive behaves confidently and is not frightened to say what they want or believe

    • 我很清楚每个阶段要做什么事情的人,抓住我自己喜欢的点在哪里

  • FAMILIES

    • 让我的世界变得很丰富多彩, 让我自己变得善良,耐心,开心

    • 洞察对方的想法

      • 在对的时间 给对方一些情绪价值

    • 非常有想法的一个人

  • BUSINESS

    • understand what drives you and learn how to use your motives to build positive relationships to serve other first, you second

      • how can I be happy in my career?

        • opportunity to learn, grow in responsibilities, contribute, and be recognised
        • that's why management, if practiced well, can be the noblest of occupations. No others offer as many ways to help people find those opportunities

      • how can I be sure that my relationship with my family is an enduring source of hapiness?

        • guided by a clear sense of purpose

      • how can I live my life with integrity?

        • define what you stand for and draw the line in a safe place

    • Leadership is about coping with change

      • Management is about coping with complexity. Its practices and procedures are largely a response to the emergence of large, complex organizations

  • SKILLS

    • 经验主义认识论 - 实证主义

      • 只有经由人的经验获得的观念才可能为真，因为他们的来源是绝对可靠的； 人没有能力发明制造任何简单观念，正如盲人不可能有颜色的观念

        • 人类的心智在出生时是“空白的” (blank)， 只有透过经验才能发展其思想

      • 经验主义强调 经验证据 在思想形成中的作用， 而不是凭借天赋观念(innate idea)或传统

      • 科学哲学中的经验主义强调证据, 尤其是在实验中发现证据; 所有假设和理论都必须根据对自然世界的观察进行检验， 而不仅仅依赖于先验推理，直觉或启示，这是科学方法的基本组成部分

        • 知识是基于经验的，并且知识是试探性的和概率性的，会不断被修正和证伪

    • 政治生活成为提升社会文明程度和推动文化发展的工具时，政治才有意义

      • 推动社会向共同善的目标前进，才有社会的完善和进步； 这样，政治不再是权力斗争，不再是征服与统治

    • 意识形态是一种似是而非的解释世界的方式

      • 它赋予人以认同，尊严和道德幻象，而使人们与现实的实质轻易地脱离
      • 现象的重要性不再产生于现象自身,而在于它在意识形态概念世界里所据的坐标。 不是现实决定理论，而是理论决定现实。 因此，权力离意识形态更近，离现实更远了。

    • 向善是人的自然本性

      • 同理心是天生的
      • 道德的根源在于同理心
        • 对潜在受害者 感同身受,愿意与之分担困苦
      • 自然正义

    • 中国人的思维至今没变： 慕强,成王败寇

      • 很少见人思考： 怎么解决问题？ 有什么方案？
      • 零和博弈, 没有妥协

  • MEETUP

    • badminton
      • 判断力 好重要

2024-09-30

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • reading
      • [萨提尔的自我觉察练习]
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [HBR Guide to Being a Great Bs]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • demo

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • 自信心 - 控制和掌握自己的身体，行为和世界的感觉

      • 孩子认为自己所从事的活动获得成功的可能性较大， 而且成年人会提供帮助

      • 港人真是好好， 老是鼓励你，包容你

      • 自信， 更多是 内在对自己的认同 和 对他人的认同

        • 对自己有合适，客观的看法

      • being assertive in a polite, courteous, adn respectful way

        • 如果有好想法，就说出来
        • 有需要就一定会说出来

    • 会玩

      • 音乐

    • 社交技能

      • 有效协调团队工作
        • 在达成一致意见时起到领导作用
      • 从他人的角度看待问题， 比如顾客或对立面的角度
      • 善于说服他人， 促进合作，避免冲突
      • 积极主动， 能够自我激励， 勇于承担本职工作之外的责任
      • 善于自我管理， 在时间和工作承诺之间取得平衡

    • 提升对情绪的敏感度

      • 要能够解读他人的情绪外， 也能适当地表达自己的情绪

      • 学会适时地跳脱规则与框架， 发挥创意，解决问题

      • 识别和恰当回应别人的感受和关切

        • 让宝宝确认她的感受得到了情绪回应
        • "I am curious to know ..."

      • 社交技能

        • 积极主动， 能够自我激励， 用于承担本职工作之外的责任

    • 同理心对话

      • 同理心的基础是 自我意识
        • 我们对自身的情绪越开放， 就越善于理解情绪
        • 没有自我意志， 很难有道德底线； 你没办法担当

      • 个体的冲动， 对天空的一种激情，一种偏好

        • 对人本身的拓展
        • 拓展我的地平线， 对人生，人性的认知
          • 会更宽容一些； 这种宽容是一种理解

      • 每次开口前， 先想一想这次对话的目的

        • 一定要察言观色， 注意对方释出的信号
        • 关注他人的敏感性， 以及根据这种认识作出相应反应，保持联系的能力
          • 回答之前 问“你在直升机上吗？”

  • FAMILIES

    • responsibity is an attitude

      • if you do, own up to it
      • if you can do sth by yourself, don't ask for help

      • you should ask for help when you really need it

        • this shows people that you're humble and know your limits. It also shows that you're open to being vulnerable with others. This will gain people's respect.

      • 真诚是 体谅自己的同时 也体谅别人， 而不是过多付出

      • Women are attracted to men who take charge of their lives and make things happen

      • if you want something, you'll have to make efforts and achieve it

      • no victim

        • it's my best choice on that moment, it's my decision
        • share with friends, and seek for the affirmation
        • I should take my part, and what I am learning

    • 女人寻求情绪的关联

      • 男人喜欢谈论“事情”

    • 对男人

      • 不要回避冲突， 妻子发泄不满或提出分歧，是为了维护婚姻的健康
      • 对她的感受产生同理心更重要， 避免太早提出实际的解决方法
      • 妻子希望自己的感受得到认同和尊重， 即便不赞同，也是有价值的

    • 培养双方共同的情绪智力

      • 冷静，同理心， 善于倾听， 能使夫妇有效地解决争端
      • 保持冷静
        • 学会舒缓自身的困扰情绪
          • 需要对否面的想法进行监控， 意识到我们不一定要相信这些想法， 并有意识地努力寻找质疑这些想法的证据或角度
      • 非辩护性的倾听和交谈
        • 尊重和爱可以瓦解婚姻中的敌意
          • 丈夫对妻子重复同样的话
        • 交谈必须围绕特定的问题，不能升级为人身攻击
          • “当你做了 X, 我感到 Y, 我希望你转而做 Z”

  • BUSINESS

    • Star Manager
      • Bring achievement drive out to help others find and achieve challenging goals
        • learn to step out of the spotlight and shine a light on others's accomplishments. It makes them feel great, while inspiring their peers
        • learn to balance your achievements with concern for others' desire to do a good job, on their own terms
        • this starting with self awareness, then you need empathy, a willingness to understand others, and self management
      • learn to be warm and authentic with people who report to you
        • beware the jealousy factor
        • shine a light on their successes, give them credit, and build them up
      • learn to use your emotional intelligence to understand why you act the way you do
        • you need to understand what drives you and learn how to use your motives to build positive relationships to serve others first, yourself second

  • SKILLS

    • training on benchmarks

      • 请留意你的感受

      • 你害怕别人看见你的什么

        • 害怕背叛和被背叛 -> 先背叛
        • take risk
          • more trust -> win-win

      • 父亲对自己影响最大

      • Intention is all -> action

        • 意图不明确 造成了 损害

      • Be, do, have

        • Do, have, be

      • 自己经常陷入刚刚发生的复盘中

        • 情绪压力

    • 直觉 - 情绪心理

      • 情绪心理可以立即理解情绪状况（他对我生气，他很伤心） 产生直觉判断，告诉我们应该警惕谁，信任谁，谁收到困扰等
      • 感受先于想法
        • 我们最强烈的感受是不由自主的反应，我们无法选择我们会产生什么样的情绪
      • 触发情绪
        • 第一种冲动 源于心灵， 而不是大脑 - 即时认知
        • 第二种情绪反应，包含进一步评估，我们的想法，即认知，在决定唤起什么情绪方面扮演关键角色 - 反省思考
      • 情绪心理认为 信念是绝对真理， 因此低估任何反面的证据
        • 情感是自我辩白的， 带有完全从自身出发的认知和“证据”
        • 情绪心理的逻辑是 联想性的； 情绪的发生需要某种象征现实的因素，或者触发某种与这种现实相同的情绪记忆。
        • 用情感的语言进行演讲，用比喻，寓言，典故进行教导，触动广大门徒的心灵。 宗教符号和仪式 是用心灵的语言表达出来，很少从理性触发。

  • MEETUP

2024-09-23

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • https://search.app/ihHPdf7ziCDkdyQd9

      • DONE

    • reading

      • [萨提尔的自我觉察练习]
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [HBR Guide to Being a Great Bs]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • demo

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 我的存在本身就极为珍贵，这也是我被爱，接纳的原因

      • 我是上帝的孩子，独一无二，极为珍贵。 没有任何人或任何事物，包括我自己在内，能让我的价值，多一分或少一分。
      • 我不再需要通过永无止息的劳作或傲人的成就，来赢取别人的爱和接纳。 我可以选择，自由自在地活出我自己。

    • 生命需要不断和过去的经验挥别，才有机会，活出新的可能

  • SELF

    • 自己的命运自己掌控

      • 当命令变成自杀， 效忠很容易就变得毫无意义

    • 倾听那些有助提升自己， 而不是埋汰你的消极观点

  • FAMILIES

    • Love

      • 我清楚的看见你
      • “我也希望 ...”

    • 情绪价值

      • 用他正面情绪带你更积极和乐观
      • 有效沟通，暖心安慰，适时的夸赞和鼓励
      • 尊重你的观点和行为
      • 心平气和的沟通

  • BUSINESS

    • 向对方明白说出你的目标和期望
      • 先想清楚自己的期望
      • 想想自己有何感受

  • SKILLS

    • 个人意识

      • 没有自我意志，很难有道德底线， 没办法担当
      • 人性本身的肯定
        • 对人本身的拓展
        • 感受到生命力， 而不是一个口号
        • 非常个体的冲动，对天空，对航空的一种激情，一种偏好
      • 太难做自己
        • 需要独处
      • 要知道自己在迎合
      • 会更宽容一些，这种宽容是一种理解
        • 拓展我的地平线，对人生，人性的认知

    • 国人的聚会

      • 有自己的目的
      • 多听少讲
      • 顺着别人讲

    • driving

      • fail

  • MEETUP

    - language

2024-09-16

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • https://search.app/ihHPdf7ziCDkdyQd9

      • DONE

    • reading

      • [萨提尔的自我觉察练习]
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [HBR Guide to Being a Great Bs]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • demo

  • SKILLS

    • Driving

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 重点和核心在于内心感受神的爱，而不是外在行为

      • 找到正确逻辑通顺的解经资料，感受耶稣的爱，感受喜乐幸福是爱他人的前提

    • When I run to you I feel safe

    • Connect group

      • True friendship
      • Encouragement - speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like christ
      • personal growth

  • SELF

    • 自我意识

      • 了解自身情绪， 也知道自己对该情绪的看法
      • 在情绪发生的时候有所意识

    • partnership skills

      • Focus on solving the problem rather than winning the battle

      • move us into a learning mode, move us out of a survival mode

        • to be the leader where she found comfort and support
        • become that calm, confident leader that allowed Sal to make mistakes and to learn from the mistakes
        • now Sal see me as a source of support and comfort for her

      • Negotiations like a dance

        • understand your counterpart, to know what moviates them, what will influence them to move down that path of agreemtn with you, of their own volition
        • you also need to have flexibility in how to achieve that goal

      • Do you research - homework

        • what do you want, and what will make you walk away from the table?
        • build a solid rationale for why you are above average that deceivers the task

      • prepare mentally for the negotiation

        • accept obstacles and failures are likely in a negotiation
        • emotional distancing
          • being less attached to any specific outcome
        • if you feel yourself getting upset, hurt during a negotiation
          • it's ok to step back
          • "let me think about this a little more, could we press pause and continue this tomorrow?"

      • put yourself in their shoes

        • taking the time to anticipate the other's needs and challenges
        • what pressures may they be under? what risks would they be taking? do they even have the power to give you what you're asking for?
        • show you are ambitious, you know what you want but you also care for others
          • "I'm asking for this because I know it's good for my team. That I want to achieve X and Y goals, and I know this is what will enable it."
        • import to listen well, to ask why and why not?

    • 同理心

      • 想清楚自己的目标和期望
        • 不要过多铺陈， 带着开放而真诚的沟通态度
      • 保持好奇心
        • 真心想从对方身上学到东西； 试着去了解对方的生活，文化，人际关系
      • 懂得觉察有无偏见
        • 倾听对方的谈话，未必就要赞同对方； 倾听的目的在于了解，不是认同； 但要注意不要过早下判断或归类
      • 尊重对方观点
      • 不要离题
        • 沉默远比离题更好
      • 划下好句点

  • FAMILIES

  • BUSINESS
    • Put on a good face as professional and positive
      • Own your reactions and don't debate or defend
        • becoming curious about yourself where is this emotion really coming from?
      • reflect and evaluate
        • learn from it, which parts to work on, what parts to disregard, what parts require deeper understanding

  • SKILLS

    • 课题分离

      • 当事情发生时，每个人只要做好自己该做的事情就好，其他跟自己无关的事情通通不管
      • 当做了某个决定或行为，最后带来的结果是由谁来承担

    • driving

  • MEETUP

    • language

      • 建立信任

        • 经常参加/花时间陪伴

      • 自信？

      • 过于真诚？

    • hiking

2024-09-09

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • https://search.app/ihHPdf7ziCDkdyQd9

      • DONE

    • reading

      • [萨提尔的自我觉察练习]
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [HBR Guide to Being a Great Bs]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • demo

  • SKILLS

    • Driving

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • I know who I am in your love

  • SELF

    • 顺者别人的话说

      • 幽默

    • Being Vulnerable, no shame

      • The important thing is that you can have a good time, build a network, build some trust, have a good time
        • humility can be interpreted as a lack of conviction
          • It's ok I am imperfect
          • it's ok I am fallible
          • I can learn, committed
          • I am engaged, ambitious
        • The important thing is not you're good at everything

    • 只有经由人的经验获得的观念才可能为真

      • 我们的一切知识都是建立在经验之上的，而且最后是导源于经验的
      • 对外界物质的东西的感觉

      • 内在感官 如思考，怀疑， 信仰，推理， 认知等反省的对象

      • 感官 - 自由 - 理性 - 判断

        • 自然法 - 自然权利
        • 社会契约 - 宪法 - 制定法 （公民）

    • 活在真实的世界里， 可能要承受一些痛苦

      • 严重的精神创伤
      • 她怎么可能再信任别人
      • 她可能再也无法分辨真相与谎言

    • 你要设定好自己的感觉跟目标， 而不用企图要改变别人

      • 我就是会好好的按照我的标准来完成我该完成的事情
      • 如果对自己有企图心， 应该可以找到途径来修炼自己
      • 感谢别人的夸奖但不能相信， 要清楚自己的感受
      • 你最好努力表达， 别人没有义务理解你
        • 表达让别人知道你有需求
      • 所有事都不遥远也不崇高，一处理就会有进展，然后自己受的苦就会有进展
        • 只要稍微往你想要的方向迈进，完成千分之一就很了不起

  • FAMILIES

  • BUSIENSS

    • demo

      • cannot work on pythonanywhere, render, and google cloud
      • mac mini as a home workstation server

    • 变色龙

    • 必须改变同事和老板对你的看法

      • 把努力工作和适度的自我推销结合起来，会产生多好的效果
      • 要分析最近取得的成就以及这件事的影响
      • 倚重数据来支持自己的业绩
      • 列出自己的职责- 对其他要求说不

    • ideas

      • AI 驱动的专家平台
        • 让 AI 为客户工作

  • SKILLS

    • driving
    • badminton
      • feel good

  • MEETUP

2024-09-02

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • https://search.app/ihHPdf7ziCDkdyQd9

      • DONE

    • reading

      • [萨提尔的自我觉察练习]
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [HBR Guide to Being a Great Bs]
      • [蛤蟆先生去看心理医生]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • SKILLS

    • Driving

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • Self-assurance

      • an internal confidence to try, even though external uncertainty exists

    • Thiel searches for those rare individuals who balance contrasting traits

      • people who are both analytical and creative, confident yet humble

    • 感觉好糟糕， 等待别人掌控自己的命运

      • 不能自己掌控的感觉好糟糕
      • 突然觉得好无助

    • He is very comfortable with himself

      • He knows what he wants

  • FAMILY

    • 花时间按照女人喜欢的方式谈话

    • Listen to her

      • 妻子闹情绪只是为了突出她对问题的强烈感受， 妻子发泄不满或提出分歧，是为了维护婚姻的健康， 避免太早提出实际的解决方法，对她的感受产生同理心更重要

      • 妻子希望自己的感受得到认同和尊重

        • 让妻子感到丈夫愿意听她的话，愿意了解她的感受， 她往往就会平静下来

      • show you're listening, and summarising what she said

        • 对妻子重复同样的话，其目的不仅在于了解妻子的想法，还在于努力领会妻子的感受

    • Tell her what she feels is valid and justified

      • "I see why you're angry about it"
      • Hug her and tell her that you're here when she needs

    • 夫妇之间有“良好的沟通”

      • 尊重和爱 可以瓦解婚姻中的敌意
      • 情绪竞争力 - 冷静， 同理心， 善于倾听， 能使夫妇有效地解决争端

  • BUSINESS

    • Begin each morning with a quick preview of the coming day's events

      • ask yourself how you can use it to develop as a manager
        • think about how you might do that - to whom, what questions you should ask, what boundaries or limits you should set, what preliminary coaching you might provide
      • before taking any action, step back and consider how it might help you become better

    • Management - Pair realism with optimism

      • Do u use your formal authority effectively?

        • you make clear why you do what you do - and even share your authority with others when possible and approprate
        • you focus more on the responsibilities that come with authority than on the personal privileges it provides
        • consider it a useful tool but not your primary means of influencing others

      • Do u create thoughtful but not overly personal relationships?

        • your relationships are rich in human connections but always focused on the purpose and goals of the team

      • Do others trust you as a manager?

        • people, particularly your own, believe in your competence, intentions, and values
        • you demo concern for their individual success

      • Do you exercise your influence ethically?

        • you consistently identify stakeholders, weight their interests and try to mitigate any harm that your actions may cause as you attempt to accomplish a greater good

      • Do you proactively build and maintain your network?

        • you create and sustain relationships with those in your network, connect frequently with them, and support their needs

      • Do you define and constantly refine your team's vision for the future?

        • you've defined by your team's purpose and the goals, strategies, and actions that will take you there. you constantly gather information, discuss your plans with others, and refine your ideas.

    • Build confidence at work

      • connect with yourself

        • take the time to understand who you are, where your motivations lie, and what makes you unique
        • remember that your uniqueness is valuable. You have sth important to share, no matter how obvious or uninspiring it may seem to you

      • Focus on building confident behaviors

        • know that ny mindset shift is going to take time. Start small and be deliberate about each effort

  • SKILLS

    • 很多问题都不存在一个简单的答案
      • 哪一种选择的正确概率更大，或者损失更小，而不是求全责备
    • 学车

  • MEETUP

    • badminton @shenzhen
      • GOOD
    • <美国谍梦>

2024-08-26

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • https://search.app/ihHPdf7ziCDkdyQd9

      • DONE

    • reading

      • [HBR Guide to Being a Great Bs]
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [蛤蟆先生去看心理医生]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • SKILLS

    • Driving

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 感受到耶稣的爱以后，我心灵情感得到完全的满足， 被释放真正成为自由人

  • SELF

    • 觉察到自己的种种想法和感受， 开始在很多方面探索和审视自己

      • 情感社交问题
      • 和上司关系问题
      • 亲密关系问题

    • Self-assurance

      • you have confidence not only in your abilities but in your judgment

        • when you look at the world, you know that your perspective is unique and distinct. and because no one sees exactly what you see, you know that no one can make your decisions for you

        • No one can tell you what to think. They can guide. They can suggest. But you alone have the authority to form conclusions, make decisions, and act. This authority, this final accountability for the living of your life, does not intimidate you. On the contrary, it feels natural to you.

        • No matter what the situation, you seem to know what the right decision is. This theme lends you an aura of certainty. unlike many, you are not easily swayed by someone else's arguments, No matter how persuasive they may be. This self-assurance may be quiet or loud, depending on your other themes, but it is solid. It is strong ,like the keel of a ship, it withstands many different pressures and keeps you on your course.

      • you have faith in your strength

        • you know that you are able - able to take risks, able to meet new challenges, albe to stake claims, and most importnat, able to deliver

      • show confidence in the things that they say and do because they are sure of their abilities

    • critical thinking

      • 从质疑， 理解走向建设和超越
        • 理解是通过更全面的归因和分析，看到问题的复杂性，看到现实生活的局限性。 理解的过程包括追问“为什么”，探究问题产生的深层次原因和因素。 理解问题时需要分辨个体因素和社会结构性因素，要避免过快地对当事人进行道德判断
        • 思考如何解决这些问题
          重新审视行动目标，发现更多可能的手段，最终找到更好的解决问题的方案。 在这个阶段很重要的事要避免完美主义谬误，要理解现实生活的复杂性， 从局限中选择最佳解决方案，成为积极的对话者和建设者

    • 不管在谁面前， 只要你不欠他，就没有必要唯唯诺诺

  • FAMILIES

    • Self-employed professionals

      • they sell their intellect

      • business owner

        • in control of my own destiny
        • risk is working for a ruthless employer
        • I get stronger and wiser each day by facing risk and adversity

      • they overcome their fears

        • the person who deals with risk every day, who tests his or her courage every day in this way, he learns to conquer fear

    • The productivity of his businesses, coupled with his household's moderate consumption habits

      • the reinvested in his businesses, commercial real estate, and the common stocks of high-quality USA corporations

      • frugal

        • my family understood the value of a dollar
        • our household operates on a fairly well-thought-out annual budget

      • Become economically productive adults

        • education
        • create an env that honors independent thougths and deeds
          cherishes individual achievements rewards responsibility and leadership

      • more confident, more content, more able to deal with adversity

      • If one lives below ones' means

        • one doesn't have to be concerned with the possibility of being forced to reduce one's standard of living

      • considerable courage to work in an env

        • taking financial risk is evidence of courage
        • the sales profession

      • teach your children discipline and frugality

        • be tough - there is no promise of a rose garden
        • never say "poor me" or feel sorry for yourself
        • say "yes" to those who need help before they ask

    • Love

      • Give her your full attention
        • Show that you're listening by nodding, maintaining eye contact, occasionally summarising what she's said to ensure understanding
      • Listen to her
        • Tell her what she feels is valid and justified
          • "I see why you're angry about it any person in your place"
        • Hug her and tell her that you're here whenever she needs

  • BUSINESS

    • 知识 AI

    • Build relationships that will have a significant impact on your life over time

      • mentors give you advice and perspective

        • a mentor can help you broaden your functional expertise, grow your emotional intelligence, and learn your company's unwritten rules

      • sponsors advocate on your behalf

        • sponsors advocate on your behalf and in some cases, directly present you with career advancement opportunities

      • partner is an ally or peer who can serve as a sounding board to broaden your perspective

        • this relationship is fuelled by trust, a shared drive to succeed, and the recognition that you can do better together

      • competition

        • competition between peers is inevitable. And, when sed correctly, it leads to improved performance, breakthrough ideas, and greater drive to get thing done

      • Mentee

        • Becoming a mentor will teach you how to bring out the best in others, recognise their strength, give feedback, and coach. in turn, it will push you to be better and to strive for more

    • CEO of Netflix on managing your team like professional athletes and sports

  • SKILLS

    • Set better boundaries at work

      • have an agreement up front

        • when everyone consents to terms ahead of time, everyone knows what the objectives are and what to expect, and there is usually less potential for opposition

      • Setting boundaries requires some authority, Briefly referring to the expertise you bring to the table gives you additional power in boundary negotiations

      • Expect your boundaries to be challenged

        • don't get angry. Think about it and make a choice

      • Ask clarifying questions before committing, especially when you aren't clear on the right approach

        • keep your questions open-ended (how or what), so you'll be able to gather more information
        • do you have some ideas for the outcomes you want? what do you plant to do?

      • Say no indirectly, offering alternatives maintains the relatiosnhip and eases the negative below

        • "It's just not possible for us to spend taht amount of money o new bike this summer. However, I'm happy to brainstorm with you how you could earn some money and sell your old one. Then we might be able to contribute sth ot the cause."

        • "I can scale back what I give you and do it by Friday, or I can complete it and give it to you a week later"

        • "I'm very excited about taking this job, and I understand you want me to start right away, but I have a two-week vacation planned with my family. would u like me to start after I take my vacation or take the vacation after I start?"

      • Don't offer a parade of reasons when you say no

        • "I wish we could,but we just can't"

      • After a crisis, reset the agreement

        • "I will take over ..., but when you get back, let's return to our regular plan for..."

  • MEETUP

    • language
    • <美国谍梦>
    • Man untied

2024-08-19

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • https://search.app/ihHPdf7ziCDkdyQd9

      • DONE

    • reading

      • [蛤蟆先生去看心理医生]
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [HBR Guide to Being a Great Bs]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [HBR to being a Great Boss]

    • React

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 和耶稣的关系

    • I know who I am in your love

      • we are not fighting against human we are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world

  • SELF

    • 觉察自己的种种想法和感受

      • 开始在很多方面探索和审视自己

    • 臣服不是屈服于困境， 而是在困境中接受自己无法控制的， 努力可以在自己控制的部分学习

    • Move where you can bloom

  • FAMILIES

  • BUSINESS

    • wealth

      • Spend time, energy, and money in ways consistent with enhancing their net worth
        • Money is a resource that should never be squandered
        • Financial independent
          • less time and energy worrying about your socioeconomic future
        • Being self-employed gives one much more control over one's economic future than does working for others
        • what criteria, what key pieces of background information, would be used to evaluate potential suppliers?

    • 个人魅力

      • 沟通能力和赢得人们信任的能力

      • 让别人喜欢你

      • 平易近人

        • 员工愿意追随你的原因之一是觉得自己了解你
        • 留心记住身边人生活的细节和重要日期比如生日
          • 寄送手写字体，写下感谢或祝贺的话语
      • 重视每一个人
        • 多留意身边人，询问他们的名字
        • 每天随机和三人主动交谈
      • 简单随意
      • 拥抱不完美
        • 个人魅力始于自信
        • 坦然面对挫折，而不是试图掩盖，打趣一下， 然后该干嘛干嘛

  • SKILLS

    • 科学与艺术是一枚硬币的两面， 他们都源自人类活动中最高尚的部分， 追求深刻性，普遍性，永恒和卓越

  • MEETUP

    • language

2024-08-12

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • https://search.app/ihHPdf7ziCDkdyQd9

    • reading

      • [蛤蟆先生去看心理医生]
      • [The Millionaire Next Door]
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [HBR 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [HBR to being a Great Boss]

    • React

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • What do you want me to do for you?

      • Just tell him

    • Rich and satisfying life

      • you need to fight it with the word of GOD
      • come into my life, I will follow you

  • SELF

    • 与其他个人的关系， 不只是球员，而是一个人

      • 一旦你建立了这种联系，你就能从别人身上获得最大的收获
      • 你有对于比赛的知识，知道达到巅峰必须有的因素，就要跟他们分享
        • 作为一名教练， 你只是试图帮助球员达成目标; 当你看到年轻球员成长时，这是一件非常自豪的事情

    • Focus more on your own family, business, health, relationships

      • You are wasting your time if you are focusing on things beyond control. Politics is one of them, media another

    • 情绪是一个感觉 feeling

      • 快乐，悲伤，愤怒，惊讶， 恐惧， 恶心

      • 情绪的功能是让我们知道我们现在是不是活在我们要过的生活当中

        • 如果有太多负面的情绪出现， 是一个警讯告诉我们该要处理一些东西

      • 先接受我们的现状

        • 这个情绪要告诉我什么？
        • 接受这个情绪带来的讯息
        • 再去寻找它的根源是什么？
        • 再来想要调整那些东西

    • 注意你的感受并放慢反应速度， 然后学会表达这种情绪

      • 还要确保自己没有压抑这种感觉， 因为这会适得其反并加剧这种情绪

      • 当你生气或摔东西的时候， 不要对家人大喊大叫， 而是对他们说 “我生气是因为 X, Y, Z” 等理由， 因此我不想和你一起吃饭，或者我需要一个拥抱或支持

      • 正确的看待事件和经历

        • 凡事都有很多面； 越多面越好
        • 确实的面对， 凡事的高低好坏， 都能够尽量看得到
        • 尊重自己的感受， 随着波浪起伏

    • 不要冲动消费

      • 想买的话，再推迟几次看看

  • FAMILIES

    • Have fun with the womam
      • Don't take your outing so seriously
      • A woman must feel comfortable and secure with you before intimacy can begin
      • The key to her feeling comfortable and secure is by having fun with you

  • BUSINESS

    • Life's too short to work with people who lose your trust
      • The best relationships are built on trust
        • Do I trust my manager to do their job well?
        • Does my manager trust me to do my job well?

    • What doing the job well mean?

      • understand how your manager sees success for their role?
        • what makes you feel you're doing a great job?
      • "How about for me? What would make you feel I'm doing a great job?"
      • "Here's what would make me feel really engaged and successful in my role ..."
      • "Let's figure out how to help each other both succeed ..."

    • A shared goal is the backbone of a trusting relationship

  • SKILLS

    • emotion

      • 看投入程度 - engagement
      • Pity - 怜悯
        • 知道他人痛苦， 上对下姿态
      • Sympathy - 同情
        • 关心他人痛苦
        • 没站在对方观点
        • 没感受对方痛苦
      • Empathy - 同理
        • 开放地了解对方状况
        • 站在对方观点
        • 感受到对方痛苦
        • 彼此分享感受
      • Compassion - 慈悲
        • 有同理心
        • 愿意改善他人痛苦

    • Never trust a man who listens to his woman too much

      • means he’s easily emotionally manipulated
      • also means when his relationship is good he will go quiet on you, and When it’s bad he suddenly wants to speak to you

    • Manipulation is when someone blames you for your reaction to their toxic behaviour But never wants to discuss their disrespect that triggered you

  • MEETUP

    • hiking
    • language
    • PPT with Isaac

2024-08-05

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • reading
      • [蛤蟆先生去看心理医生]
      • [The Millionaire Next Door]
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [HBR 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [HBR to being a Great Boss]

    • React

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • 什么是滋养自己的事

      • 滋养自己的事一定是让自己内心安静，松弛， 并获得力量的过程

      • 多了解自己而不是盲目遵守规则

    • Strength

      • Confidence <-> connect with yourself
      • Stand up straight
      • lower your tone and voice

    • Good decision making and high leverage is the solution

    • a clear, confident mind

      • Don’t focus on making millions of dollars,focus on learning about how the world works, develop your individual talents, enjoy the whole process, and place your bets accordingly. You will get the money you deserve, and earn your most valuable asset: a clear, confident mind .

    • Agree more

      • 利他的话术
      • 以对方的逻辑 说出自己的意图

    • Negotiations

      • try to remain friendly and try make the conversation less of an argument and more of a discussion

    • Understand why people act the way

  • FAMILIES

    • 普通人的视角看世界

      • 身体健康， 家庭幸福， 经济丰富， 价值实现

    • 回老家见父母

      • feel wonderful to stay with parents; I can feel their love
      • 他们老了， 以后有时间多陪陪他们
      • 终于体会到了 爸的局限
        • 过于自我牺牲
        • 过于相信别人的话 - 上诈下愚
      • 父母医疗保险及养老保险

    • 出门在外，也要准时吃饭，睡觉，休闲

      • 不要省小钱，比如打的，吃饭等等

    • 转钱 5W - From SHENZHEN ATM to HK through HSB

  • BUSINESS

    • management
      • 我们的共同挑战是让球队维持在这一水平上； 我和贾森的工作是为滕哈格、工作人员和球员创造合适的支持结构和环境，使这一切成为可能

  • SKILLS

    • 情绪价值 - 听到对方的话

    • 先验理性 vs 经验理性

      • 先验 来自定义和第一原理的演绎逻辑， 从天上俯瞰人间
      • 经验理性 来自观察证据的归纳逻辑

    • 苏俄的教训告诉人们， 科技，经济，生活是一个整体

      • 只有这三着形成一种畅通的正向循环的时候，发展才会有源源不竭的动力
      • 科技发展与经济脱节， 科技创新无法进入真实经济世界
      • 经济发展与民生生活脱节， 过于重视重工业，轻视轻工业

  • MEETUP

    • hiking
      • feel good when I feel that the connection with Amos

2024-07-22

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • reading
      • [The Millionaire Next Door]
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [HBR 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • Business/Negotiations
      • [HBR to being a Great Boss]

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • Think about how god helps you

      • Jesus helps you have good thoughts
      • we have hope in Jesus
      • 'You are the grace and truth; Nothing compares to you'
      • 'I believe in you, Thanks for forgiving me, I will follow you'

    • God's healing power

      • need to train our minds
      • when our minds transform, we transform

  • SELF

    • Warmth and Strength

      • Warmth
        • smile
        • validate feelings
        • agree with them
      • Strength
        • Confident <- connect with yourself
        • stand up straight
        • low your tone and voice

    • Is this voice motivate me?

      • Strategic who and when

    • 深度对话

      • 说出你的感受， 你的目标和期望

  • FAMILIES

    • Dealing with your family and friends with your heart, business with your head
      • friends - truth and kind
        • how to improve their self-esteem
        • how useful to them

  • BUSINESS

    • understand why people act this way

  • SKILLS

    • 国人一元论的宇宙观
      • 直接把哲学思想应用于日常生活，也应用于施政标准
      • 直接把理论用于行动中， 而不是“以经验为基础，以逻辑为支撑，互相对照，互相发展”
      • 把具体和抽象混为一谈的方法， 是中国思想家的传统习惯， 也合于他们一元论的宇宙观
  • MEETUP
    • language
      • GOOD
    • movie
      • <套利交易>
        • 如何做出对自己有利的行动； 以前太为别人着想了，尤其仅仅是同事
    • AE business card , hsbc-uk Card, giffgaff
    • Iphone SE

2024-07-15

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • reading
      • [The Millionaire Next Door]
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [HBR 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • Bean Workshop

      • reactjs
      • website

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [HBR to being a Great Boss]

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • 开心最重要

      • 努力的目的

    • If you have anxiety, if it's out of your hands, it deserves freedom from your mind too

      • Don't outsource your happiness or success to other people's decisions

    • There is no failure, only feedback

    • 直接把理论用于行动中， 而不是“以经验为基础，以逻辑为支撑， 互相对照，互相发展”

      • 只由问题的现象直接跳跃到道德的答案

      • 将问题于答案之间的起因和细节全部忽略

        • 判断是非标准是 “善”和“恶”， 而不是 “合法”或“非法”

      • 能用法律及技术解决的问题， 不要扯上道德问题

      • 不需要你自己百分百干净（道德评判）， 只要看你说的是否有道理或是事实，无论你是否别有用心，否则再干净也不行

    • love yourself and choose distance over disrespect

      • Never let anyone get too comfortable with disrespecting you
        Most relationships taught me the more chances you give ppl, the less they value you. They're not afraid to lose you bcoz they know no matter what, you won't walk away.

      • Take everyone at face value. They prove their words by their actions

      • Lower your expectations, but keep your standards high

    • EQ

      • what are the differences between how you see yourself and how others see you?
      • what matters to you?
      • what changes will you make to achieve your goals?

    • Confidence can be learned and practiced

      • Connect with yourself

        • Take the time to understand who you are, where your motivations lie, and what makes you unique. Remember that your uniqueness is valuable. You have sth important to share, no matter how obvious or uninspiring it may seem to you

      • Self-Talk

        • I am the captain of my ship and the master of my fate
        • Get away from the people who will tear you down

      • Self-confident people interpret feedback the way they choose to

      • Focus on building confident behaviors

        • Know that any mindset shift is going to take time.
        • Start small and be deliberate about each other. Don't expect change to happen overnight. keep at it and build your confidence muscle

  • FAMILIES

    • Women just want a man they are comfortable being themselves around . The more you come out of your shell, the more you allow her to do the same.
      • Many women will love who you are. You just love who you are firstly.
    • Being yourself unapologetically no matter what others think of you. Women don't care what you say, they care how you say it.

  • BUSINESS

    • Negotiation Skills

      • BATNA - Best alternative to a negotiated agreement

        • What will u do if you don't reach a deal?
        • You think my BATNA is so bad, Let me tell you about your BATNA

      • ZOPA - Zone of possible agreement

        • when you make the first offer, you can anchor the negotiation in your favour
        • this shifts our perception of where the zone of possible agreement is
        • walking out of the negotiation is an appropriate tactic

      • Being aware of what you're delivering, and then making an offer or asking for sth that's reflecting the value you are delivering

      • The only way to reset is to change the players

        • Joey comes back the next day and offers 7000 for the ring

    • 对别人有贡献和价值， 信任是个说辞

    • Negotiations

      • Understand first and respected

        • people wanna be understood and accepted
        • You demo empathy and a sincere desire to understand what the other side is experiencing
        • and only then get what they want from the negotiation

      • Negotiation is not a battle. It is a discovery

        • Smiling
        • mirroring -> makes the conversation run smoothly and makes the opponent reveal more information

      • Tactical empathy

        • Especially focusing on identifying the emotional obstacles that are standing in the way of agreemtn

        • Label the emotion and summarise what your opponent just told you and give it back to him

          • "It seems like ..."
          • it signals to your opponent that you truly understand him which creates a stronger bond and makes your opponent like you
          • if a person likes you it is 6 times more likely that you will have a deal

      • Diffusing Negatives with labels

        • "you might even consider not doing business with us anymore. And you are absolutely right to think in this way"
        • Your opponent will be more focused on the solution rather than complaining

      • Start with No

        • When you say "Yes", you feel committed or trapped
        • you feel safe because you did not commit to anything
          • "is it a bad time to talk for 5 minutes?"
          • "No, But let me finish X, Y, and Z and meet you in 15 minutes on my desk."

      • That is right

        • It puts the other side's empathy on steroids

    • ideas

      • Sold by AMAZON
      • temu, 全球速卖通
      • Home Assistant

  • SKILLS

    • 通过观察归纳一个理论，在该理论基础上推理演绎，然后通过实证检验为该理论及演绎寻找证据

      • 根据新碎片，修正甚至打破旧框架，并构建新框架

    • How to collaborate with someone you don't like?

      • Take an honest look at what is causing the tension with you and your colleague and what role you play in creating it
        • Try to understand your colleague's perspective; Make time to think deliberately about the other person's point of view, especially if that person is essential to your success
      • Engage them directly, and try to understand your difference in interpersonal style.
      • Ask for help. It shows that you value their intelligence and experience

    • Public Speaking

      • Understand your audience and what they need
        • what does my audiences want to hear
          • understand their need
        • what is it that they expect of me?
        • what are their attitudes?
      • Conext
        • time
        • emotion
        • location
      • Structure our messages
        • Past-Present-Future
        • Problem-Solution-Benefit
        • What, SO-what, now-what
          • what the issue is
          • why it's important in that so-what step
          • what's next, what's coming

  • MEETUP

    • language

    • <半熟恋人>

      • 对话

        • 想下事先希望给对方什么印象
        • 要猜测试探对方的意图/答案 或者 交换 比如 “那你能先回答我一个问题吗？”
        • 重复对方的问题， 当回答对方问题的时候
        • 顺着对方的话往下说

      • 细心， 照顾别人感受

        • 很有爱，很温暖
        • “今天开心吗？”
        • 笑起来很好看
        • “要我帮你吗？”

      • 要清楚自己的感受； 多表达自己的感受

        • “我很害怕，如果你想，我可以陪你”
        • 打晓别人的顾虑， 让别人更信任自己

      • SELF

        • 刚开始会被开朗大方的人吸引 (这样的女生一般多在意别人的看法 而失去了自己；小心这个 trap)； 过一段时间深入了解后， 会被有自己的想法，不爱慕虚荣的女生吸引； 这种女生一般都内向

        • 自卑， 当别人介绍自己很优秀的时候

          • 看到有什么可以学到的特点
          • True rewards - wealth, knowledge, love, fitness, and equanimity - come from ignoring others and improving ourselves
            • School, politics, sports, and games train us to compete against others.
          • 自信，不是一个外在的表现，而更多是内在对自己的认同和对其他人的认同
          • 自信的定义是无论顺境逆境，一个人即不把自己看得过于强大，也不把自己看得过于弱小，他对自己有合适，客观的看法。 鼓励孩子积极面对自己，积极面对他人。

        • Love yourself and choose distance over disrespect

          • Get away from the people who will tear you down; Never let anyone get too comfortable with disrespecting you.
          • Most relationships taught me the more chances you give ppl, the less they value you. They're not afraid to lose you bcoz they know no matter what, you won't walk away.

2024-07-08

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • reading
      • [The Millionaire Next Door]
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [HBR 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • Bean Workshop

      • reactjs
      • website

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [HBR to being a Great Boss]

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD
    • "If you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean"
    • Thanks for your suffering for us

  • SELF

    • 想做就做，不要想那么多

      • 有些事 只有自己试了才知道

    • 有钱之后， 人与人之间的情感很重要

    • 金钱对幸福感的提升作用很大

      • 钱能提供选择

  • FAMILIES

  • BUSINESS

    • Real Wealth is created by starting your own companies or even by investing in an investment firm, they're buying equity

      • these are the routes to wealth. It doesn't come through the hours

    • Equity

      • 20 日和 200 日 移动均线 是判断整体短期和长期市场趋势的关键指标

        • 短期移动均线可以帮助你识别趋势的动能， 也就是 超买或超卖
        • 长期移动均线则可以帮助你确定趋势本身

      • two key objectives

        • Learn when to sell stocks to minimize losses and max gains to start protect yourself
        • prepare to make money when the market turns around

  • SKILLS

    • 人的来源
      • 创造论
      • 演化论
        • 是个假设， 不能复制； 暂时的解释
  • MEETUP
    • language
    • movies
      • <火星救援> - GOOD
      • <蝙蝠侠：黑暗骑士崛起>

2024-07-02

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • reading
      • [The Millionaire Next Door]
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [HBR 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • Bean Workshop

      • reactjs
      • website

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [HBR to being a Great Boss]

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 信考恩典的人 在爱里凭对耶稣救赎的信心没有惧怕

      • 没爱心的人说到底还是不相信耶稣的十字架的救赎能够赦免他一切的罪

    • 爱里没有惧怕； 爱即完全， 就把惧怕除去

      • 因为惧怕里含着刑罚， 惧怕的人在爱里未得完全

    • 人的生命都是被塑造，人的生命表现基本上都是他感受到的东西

      • 你感受爱， 才能给出爱； 你感受指责和惩罚，你给出去的就是论断和批评； 你感受快乐，才能输出快乐； 感受苦毒， 就发出苦毒

    • 圣经说只有爱心才能造就人， 所以人必须学会感受爱

  • SELF

    • Spend more time studying for fewer offerings

      • Focus
      • master their understanding
      • Just invest in ones that he knows and understands

    • Listen to understand, don't listen to reply

      • all experiences are individual

    • Build internal and external self-awareness

      • Ask what instead of why can learn to see themselves more clearly

        • "what kind of person they were"

      • actively work on both seeing themselves clearly and getting feedback to understand how others see them

        • internal self-awareness

          • how clearly we see our own values, passions, aspirations, fit with our env, reactions (including thoughts, feelings, behaviors, strengths, and weakness), and impact on others
          • external self-awareness
            • understanding how other peopel view us

      • we should ask what question

        • 'what' questions help us stay objective, future-focused, and empowered to act on our new insights
        • "what are the situations that make me feel terrible, and what do they have in common?"
        • "what do I need to do to move forward in a way that minimises the impact to ..."

    • 经历不能用好坏来评论， 要用价值来评论

    • 通过躯体承载灵魂的过程， 庆幸自己有过遍体鳞伤， 却酣畅淋漓的经历， 而不是在安然无恙中度过一生

    • 焦虑

      • 无力感， 不确定

  • FAMILIES

    • Select the right person

      • Genuinely knowing what you want and need in a partner and a relationship

        • have a better idea of who you are, what you need, why you do the things you do
        • allow you to behave differently in the future

      • Mutuality

        • both sets of needs matter
        • convey your own needs in a lear direct fashion
          • "you know this is going to be stressful for me. I'd really love for you to be there. you'll be a really good buffer for me. Is there any way you can clear your schedule to come with me?"
        • willing to support your partner
          • "I'd really like to take this job, it's really important to me, but I also am concerned about us spending time together. If I promise to protect some time for us, will you be OK with me taking this job?"

      • Emotion regulation

        • regulating your feelings in response to things that happen in your relationship
        • keep your emotion calm and keep things that happen in your relationship in perspective
          • "you know what, I can handle this. This is going to be all right. There is a way to deal with this. I'm going to figure this out. Everything is going to be OK."
          • Not act out on them impulsively
            • calm down, it is going to come

    • Happy couple

      • Stop being a victim, relsease your pain

        • take responsibility for our mistakes and apologise for the unhappiness that we have caused

      • Anything but anger

        • when you feel angry, sit down, take a deep breath, and think about what's really going on

        • ask yourself what am I really feeling underneath all this anger

          • expressing just about anything other than frustration or anger

        • "I feel sad, I feel hurt or I feel disappointed"

      • Raising the bar - challenge yourself to be better whether your partner is behaving well or badly

        • challenge yourself to be helpful, patient, caring, kind
        • "I am so sorry you're upset, what's bothering you is important to me, how can I help there"

      • Use "I would love it if ..." statement in a way that's positive and future focused

        • "I would love it if you could wash the dishes next round"

    • True Love

      • sacrifice and release
        • If she has the desire to make you happy and the ability to do so, put your happiness above her own
        • If she is kind and compassionate,respect you and take the time to listen and try to undersand you
      • relationship
        • we become a team and we build the trust and goodwill

  • BUSINESS

    • 以我们的能力， 一定可以商量一个切实可行的方法的

    • how to disagree positively

      • start by finding common ground
        • identify the thing that we can all agree on and go from there

      • avoid putting down the other person's ideas and beliefs

      • Use 'I' statements to communicate: How you feel, what you think, want, or need

        • I'm feeling pressured because ... Can I do these tomorrow?

      • stay calm

  • SKILLS

    • Conversations skills

      • Stoke a positive tone whenever possible

        • Offering a cheerful comment
        • affirming people's comments and offering positive feedback can boot dopamine and enhance your connection
          • saying yes to those feelings even if someone's tone feels negative > I hate traffic
            > I know. Traffic sucks. I wish there were an easier way to travel

      • Find common ground

        • find similar interests: good food

      • Ask open-ended questions

        • clarifying questions
          • "what makes you feel this way?"
          • "when did this happen?"
        • if negotiation, ask questions aimed at solutions
          • "I hear you saying that you're frustrated because you feel like you don't have enough freedom. What can we do to find a solution that works for both of us?"

      • Refer to people by their names

      • Offer a compliment to start things off

        • try to choose sth specific to comment on, smile, and be sincere

      • Practice being an active listener

    • Listen to understand, don't listen to reply

      • true listening - set aside your personal opinion
      • sense the acceptance
      • assume you have sth to learn
      • use the open-ended questions
        • start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how
        • "what was it like?"
        • "how did that feel?"
      • go with the flow
      • all experiences are individual

  • MEETUP

    • 《玫瑰的故事》 - 电视剧
      • good
    • hiking
      • good relationship

2024-06-24

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • reading
      • [The Millionaire Next Door]
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [HBR 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • Bean Workshop

      • reactjs
      • website

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [HBR to being a Great Boss]

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • you believe in christ, god put his stamp of ownership on you by giving you the holy spirit he had promised
    • 相信圣灵与你同在
      • 圣灵在我做的事情上帮助我
      • 给我智慧，给我平安

  • SELF

    • 正确理解对方的想法和逻辑

    • Use your energy to believe, to create, to learn, to think, and to grow

      • Do not use your energy to worry

    • To live your dream not the others

  • FAMILIES

    • 大事感性， 小事理性

      • 理性地认真地做好每天要做的事，你的路就一步一步走出来了
      • 过去已经过去， 未来不可知， 只有眼前的每一天才是真正要认真对待的生活

    • 复原力

  • BUSINESS

    • Management

      • 作为主要执行者的第一军为参与的部队提供训练， 并为执行的部队提供任务指挥

    • Finanical Independence

      • net worth, minimize the tax

    • What your client needs and values?

      • fill their need

    • 务实主义

      • 善于妥协，形成各种联盟
      • 建立信任， 和例行公事 来减少意外
      • 为达到目标而不断努力

    • 要弄清楚为啥买这股票

      • 足够的了解

  • SKILLS

    • 注意低调， 克制自己的反驳欲， 学会赞美和闭嘴

  • MEETUP

    • language
      • ok
    • hiking
      • not so good

2024-06-17

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • reading
      • [Emotional Intelligence]
      • [HBR 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • Bean Workshop

      • reactjs
      • website

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [HBR to being a Great Boss]

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • You are never wrong to do the right thing

    • 逢场作戏 - Chamelenons

      • Great leaders seem to Know which personality traits they should reveal to whom and when

      • adapting to the demands of the situations they face and the people they lead; yet they do not lose their identities in the process

      • Vibe 很重要

        • 不要太诚实
      • 职场利益 永远大于 感情

    • Being cooperation not so direct

      • Thank you, Sorry, Please, Maybe, I'm not sure > "I'm not sure about that. Maybe we could try ..." > "Do u have any ideas about what I could try to improve it?"
        > "Do u think you could finish that doc soon?"
        > "I don't suppose you could do it a bit sooner, could you?"
        > "I'd prefer if someone else could do it if possible as it's not my field"
        > "It would be great if you could do it because ..."

    • 不要逃避， 多互相交流， 维护对方的核心诉求

  • FAMILIES

    • 女人交谈的目的，在于寻求同理心

      • 获得他人“懂我”的同理心态
      • “是呀，好危险的”
      • 女性脑会将别人的经验转化为自己的智慧 - 同理行为

    • 扮演闺蜜

      • 没重点， 琐碎的体验（小抱怨或发现） 讲出来送给对方 -> 让女人觉得自己参与了丈夫的人生
        • “是呀，的确有可能”

      • 在对方跟你说这些事的时候，确实表现出同理心， 以抒解对方的压力

        • 表示有同感
        • “嗯，我懂”
        • “别担心，我会想办法”

      • 出口责难， 诚心地道歉

        • 出口责难的人，其实是心理受伤
        • “真对不起，让你一个人在这儿等” - 不要解释理由

    • 意见不同时，要提出能让对方觉得开心的部分

      • 针对双方的提案，互相列出优缺点
      • 实际调查并验证
      • 优点，不能是避免确定的消极性优点， 而是对双方都有利的（能够有所获得的）
      • 基于以上原则来做出结论

    • 老婆想要的是 老公多赞美，感谢

      • 对老婆的心灵深处予以肯定，无论在事实上要予以肯定还是否定
      • 你的心情我能充分理解； 但这是不对的

    • 增加正向触发机制

      • 乐趣在于预告与重复 - 结婚纪念日

        • “下个月的结婚纪念日，我们去那家有我俩回忆的意大利餐厅吧”
        • 务必回顾一下两人一路走来的历程， 表达 “过去发生了很多事，谢谢你都对我不离不弃；今后也请继续陪我”

      • 平日 强调 “不论身在何处，我都想着你”

        • 不知怎么回， 重复老婆的话传回去

      • 吵架后，对老婆受伤的心灵道歉， 表达“对不起，害你这么难过”

        • 再将伴手礼送给老婆

      • 称赞她的时候， 要选在她本人心情愉悦时

        • “我们在一起时有意义的，而这样的女人只有你一个”
        • “对我来说，你是唯一的”

      • 护花使者

        • 早上出门必定要亲下 自己要走在靠车道一侧 餐厅要让她坐在内侧位子 餐厅等老婆先坐下后自己才坐 先帮忙把门打开并等她通过

  • BUSINESS

    • reading people

    • the scientific method

      • formulating, testing, and tweaking hypotheses
      • the key to pivoting is focusing not on your ideas but on the answers to your experiments which should provide insight into customer demand and industry pain points

    • oversharing

      • open up to your team while still priorizing boundaries
      • reflect on the feeling
        • what exactly am I feeling? Why? what is the need behidn this emotion?

    • leader

      • 当纳德拉看到微软必应搜索内置 ai 聊天机器人的早期演示时， 他问自己的团队需要些什么才能使其成为热门产品； 工程师告诉他 ...

    • ideas

      • World Forest ID - 树木
        • 分析商品样本，建立数据库
        • 使用统计方法和机器学习对结果进行空间插值； 可以预测在该团队未采样地区采伐的树木的化学特征

  • SKILLS

    • Situation-behavior-impace feedback

      • First note the time and place where a behavior occurred then describe the behavior - what they saw and heard Finally to describe the impact the behavior had in terms of the feedback providers' thoughts, feelings or actions

    • 不试怎么知道， 你也不是故意的

  • MEETUP

    • movies

      • <玫瑰的故事> - good
      • <黑影坠落>, - good

    • reading

      • [HBR being a Great Boss]

    • Wise card

2024-06-11

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • reading
      • [老婆使用說明書]
      • [HBR 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • Bean Workshop

      • reactjs
      • website

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [HBR to being a Great Boss]

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • 职场利益 永远 大于 感情

      • 逢场作戏 - 不要太老实
      • vibe 好重要

    • 不要老盯着金钱

  • FAMILIES

  • BUSINESS

    • 胆大心细， 有能力且会随机应变

    • 申请了 Wise, VS Card

  • SKILLS

    • 不试怎么知道， 你也不是故意的

    • China

      • 说话做事没有理性； 对别人没有同情心； 从骨子里不想和别人合一； 处处自以为义，跟别人对着干，给别人造成痛苦，来体现自己的存在感

      • 完全没有对别人的体贴

  • MEETUP

    • <玫瑰的故事> 刘亦菲
      • good
    • 周五可能生病
      • 痢疾

2024-06-03

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • reading
      • [老婆使用說明書]
      • [HBR 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence]
      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • Bean Workshop

      • reactjs
      • website

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [HBR to Dealing with Conflict]

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 來到神面前做客体， 放弃自我的一切努力， 单纯的接受神的爱和救恩

      • 谦卑下来来到神面前汲取永不枯竭爱的力量

      • He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases

    • 只有爱才能解决这个矛盾， 带个人心灵的平安喜乐力量

      • 从小被爱呵护，得到的赞美和肯定比常人多，因此心理比常人强大一些，现实和潜意识的矛盾就小一些

    • 心灵最大困惑

      • 现实不完美， 潜意识却希望完美

      • 现实很有限， 潜意识却希望永恒

      • 唯一要做的，就是相信接受； 心灵由此安息，得到力量，欢喜快乐

        • 耶稣付出代价 -》 我们得公义（完美）
        • 耶稣受死 -》 我们得永生

  • SELF

    • 要自私， 不要太为别人着想
      • 不是亲人
      • 如果是朋友的话，也要看对方是否帮过自己
      • 沒必要带入， 理解对方的情绪即可

  • FAMILIES

    • chat with sister
      • 有些掛念家人

  • BUSINESS

    • ZA 商業帳戶
    • finish the video script

  • SKILLS

  • MEETUP

    • 《暗色天堂》
      • GOOD
      • 无爱，有掌控欲的女生
        • 当现实违反我们的期望（或欲望）时，要求公义可能只是挽回面子和伪善的手段
        • 当他不以我期望的方式回应我，接受我，喜欢我时，他可不能干净离场，留下我落失情感，丧尽面子
        • 复仇心态要他为自己落空的期望负责

2024-05-27

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • EQ

      • [HBR 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence]

      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • BUSINESS

    • Bean Workshop

      • proposal

      • BANK

        • HSBC
        • ZA ?

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [從零開始的 1 頁企劃書]

      • [Business Made Simple]

      • [事實與偏見]

      • [HBR to Dealing with Conflict]

    • reading

      • [Relationship Goals]
      • [Conversation Casanova]
      • [老婆使用說明書]

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 体会耶稣的爱

      • 主牵着我的手， 把我的重担仍出去

    • Money helps GOD's kinddom

      • The way you give to others is the way GOD will give to you
      • start with sth
      • give often as your lifestyle
      • give randomly

  • SELF

  • FAMILIES

  • BUSINESS

    • Get to know your manager well enough to know that they have your back

    • Bean

      • finish the proposal

      • HSBC business account

      • Chat with Patrick

        • He is a good business law

  • SKILLS

    • China
      • 任何时候， 都少提建议
      • 不要别人问什么就答什么， 有些问题可以不回答
      • 再不喜欢， 也要维持表面上的善意
      • 在发布意见时， 加上 个人觉得
      • 遇到签字盖章， 一定要看清文件

  • MEETUP

    • Lunch
      • NOT GOOD
    • FOOTBALL
      • HAPPY that ManU succeeded

2024-05-20

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • EQ

      • [HBR 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence]

      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

  • FAMILIES

  • BUSINESS

    • Bean Workshop

      • proposal

      • BANK

        • HSBC
        • ZA / livi ?
        • SCHK?

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [從零開始的 1 頁企劃書]

      • [Business Made Simple]

      • [事實與偏見]

      • resolving conflict

    • reading

      • [Relationship Goals]
      • [Conversation Casanova]
      • [老婆使用說明書]

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

  • SKILLS

  • MEETUP

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 爱就是看见， 理解， 同理心别人

    • 当把耶稣作为中心， 律法智慧信心都围绕他， 美丽就出现了

  • SELF

    • 看清楚自己真正的心意

  • FAMILIES

  • BUSINESS

    • 注册公司

      • Bean Workshop Limited

    • proposal

    • Get to know your manager well enough to know that they have your back

      • Get to know your team well enough to know that you like working with them
      • Get to know your project well enough to know that you find it interesting

    • 谢谢你对我这么有信心

  • SKILLS

    • Money is guided by our hearts
      • the way you give to others is the way God will give to you
      • Start with someting
      • give often as your lifestyle
      • give randomly

  • MEETUP

    • language

2024-05-13

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • EQ

      • [HBR 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence]

      • [The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself]

    • 管理压力

  • BUSINESS

    • 写计划书

    • AI therapy

      • CBT
      • ~~online peer support community~~

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [從零開始的 1 頁企劃書]

      • [Business Made Simple]

      • [事實與偏見]

      • resolving conflict

  • reading

    • [Relationship Goals]
    • [Conversation Casanova]
    • [老婆使用說明書]

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • 感受到压力

  • FAMILIES

    • chat with mother

  • BUSINESS

    • 注册公司

  • SKILLS

    • 管理结构 - 结构应当服从于战略

      • 巴菲特明白， 结构应当服从于战略， 而不是相反
      • 私募基金的 结构设计 一开始就旨在 最大限度地扩大规模， 而不是最大限度提高回报
      • 资产管理行业， 是基于资产的收费模式， 不仅关注回报，还关注规模

    • 确保合适的人最终得到合适的职位， 管理层每个人都必须是世界级的

      • 然后 创造一个 积极， 支持， 友好和高质量的环境是最重要的
      • 只有在这样的环境中， 你才能让运动员发挥出最好的水平； 如果成功，结果会自动产生。

  • MEETUP

    • Lunch @ No.705, K11 Musea
      • good
    • 九龙城寨
      • good
    • manunited

2024-05-06

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • read more, less youtube
      • less surfing online

  • BUSINESS

    • AI therapy

      • CBT
      • ~~online peer support community~~

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [從零開始的 1 頁企劃書]

      • [Business Made Simple]

      • [事實與偏見]

      • resolving conflict

  • Learning

    • JS/Programming

      • reactJS

    • EQ

    • reading

      • <老婆使用說明書>

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD
    • 如何感受神的爱，如何从神领受能力，如何在耶稣的爱里让心灵天天成长
      • 而不是上来就提要求，上来就讲律法
      • 感受不到耶稣的爱， 人就不会有爱

  • SELF

    • Be intentional with your actions, be a creator of all things
      • design your mind
      • sculpt your body
      • build your family

  • FAMILY

  • BUSINESS

    • try the startup in this year

    • startup

      • the team

        • be working with and know your co-founders for at least 2 years

        • hire people who will do it better

          • learn the basics, and experiment to achieve init result once you hit your 'short-term limit', then consider hiring -> knowledge enough to hire the right person

        • hire when you truly need it

      • the market

        • If you've personally experienced a problem and are an expert in the relevant field, you're significantly ahead of others in finding solutions. Essentially, firsthand experience combined with expertise gives you a considerable advantage

      • The product

        • If the problem you're solving is big enough, the finer points of how your interface looks or feels might not be top priority. what matters more is that your solution works well and tackles the big issues head-on
        • no code has come a long way
        • find the right balance of confidence and factual truth

      • Fundraising is just like sales, really

        • You are constantly making the story look nicer than it might be, being more optimistic about the future than you normally would

        • Investors have FOMO, investors are always worried about losing a great deal

    • 管理

      • 必须确保合适的人最终得到合适的职位，管理层的每个人都必须是世界级的； 然后， 创造一个积极，支持，友好和高质量的环境是很重要的
        • 只要在这样的环境中，你才能让运动员发挥出最好的水平。 如果成功， 结果会自动产生。 这就是机会，我相信这一点

  • SKILLS

  • MEETUP
    • 大湾区之行
      • 表达投资的意愿 - 感觉还不错
    • dinner with friends
      • 感觉很好
    • language in lifehouse
      • soso

2024-04-29

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • read more, less youtube
      • less surfing online

  • BUSINESS

    • AI therapy

      • CBT
      • online peer support community

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [從零開始的 1 頁企劃書]

      • [Business Made Simple]

      • [事實與偏見]

      • resolving conflict

  • Learning

    • JS/Programming

      • nextJS

    • EQ

    • reading

      • <老婆使用說明書>

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 面向主， 经历主
      • 这个生命就是来帮助我们的
      • 保罗说 我信这个人， 而不是道理

  • SELF

    • Don't be too nice. People will use you

  • FAMILIES

  • BUSINESS

    • finsh CHATBOT UI

      • feel good
      • maybe hire a frontend member

    • startups

      • the team
      • the product
      • the market
      • Fundraising

    • Doing things that don't scale as long as you possibly can

      • Do a lot thing personally by yourself
      • you do it for first few, you learn a lot from here, get critical mass and then get things moving
      • Talk with related real users to find the pains
        • server the need
        • build sth from small business owners
      • test your idea, get this thing off the ground, try to find product market fit
        • optimise for speed over scalability/clean code
        • only worry about the next order of magnitude

    • A study found that men who were more conscientious, extroverted, and less agreeable earned more than their peers — especially if they went to graduate school

  • SKILLS

    • some skills on JS

    • 去大海看看吧， 你的烦恼很渺小

    • 合作共赢才是长久之道

      • 很多穷人为什么穷？
        • 他觉得别人和他交换利益就是利用他。 他只想要别人毫无私心，免费提供， 拿双手捧给他的机会。 所以穷人几乎总被骗

  • MEETUP

    • shatin bible
      • not good - chat some unmeaning
    • badminton
      • happy to know some guy
    • online football

2024-04-22

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • read more, do more
      • less surfing online

  • BUSINESS

    • Business/Negotiations

      • [從零開始的 1 頁企劃書]

      • [Business Made Simple]

      • [事實與偏見]

      • resolving conflict

    • What will u do?

      • online peer support communtiy
        • LLM

  • Learning

    • JS/Programming

      • nextJS

    • EQ

    • reading

      • <老婆使用說明書>

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • Hear the voice of GOD

      • read Bible and write it down

    • 感受到神的爱， 灵力和信心都感到提高

      • 以前感受不到神的爱，对神信心小， 奉献钱时十分勉强

    • 个人道德活动所能采取的最高形式， 应是 对其履行世俗事务的义务进行评价

      • 尘世间的活动叫做召唤 calling, 一种职责召唤， “上帝安排的任务”

      • 为社会的尘世生活而服务的职业中的劳作， 完全是增加上帝的荣耀

        • 上帝应许的唯一生存方式，是要人完成个人在现世里所处地位赋予他的责任和义务，这就是天职

    • 只需要依照福音书的教诲，以耶稣基督为榜样，在尘世中生活，工作，这就是善行

      • 上帝帮助那些自助的
      • 加尔文的伦理乃是自强、自助、勤勉、守信、虔诚，在尘世中尽自己的天职
      • 勤奋的创造地上的财富，就是遵从天上之父的最好方法
        • 开国先辈们坚信，自由政府的根基就在于，个人创造的私有财产，以及对私有财产的保护

  • SELF

    • 足够的休息

    • 有上进心， 可以稳定自己的生活

    • 有自己的兴趣

  • FAMILIES

    • 我一直在她身边成为她的力量， 让她不受影响

    • how to talk about yourself in an attractive way

      • know the purpose of talking about yourself

        • excite and intrigue her, and get her talking about herself again

      • qualities

        • dominance behavior qualities

          • he knows what he wants in life, and goes for it
          • lead, take charge of a situation
            • how you took charge of a situation enven you were unsure of the outcome
            • a time where you achieved sth you once thought was impossible
            • a time where you successfully led a group of people

        • prosocial behavior

          • feel empathy, and welfare of others
            • a time where you helped sb less fortunate
            • a time where you hung out with a group of friends and had fun
            • a time where you helped a friend accomplish sth

        • adventurousness

          • women wanna make them feel alive, challenge them, and excite them

        • appreication of beauty

          • men tend to enjoy good sex

        • vulnerability

          • women appreciate men who can be vulnerable about some of their fears and shortcomings
          • not perfect

      • bait her - make her to find out who you are

        • paint yourself as more than an ordinary guy
          • women like men who succeed in the face of adversity, over come obstacles, and have purpose

        • structure about 'talk about yourself'

          • sth when you were younger and a goal, but wasn't sure how to accomplish
          • mentioned a few obstacles along your way to success
          • how you began to finally see some success
            • 高考（ 去运城上学，突然发现周围都是高手，有些失落， 还是需要一些努力，多去理解而不是初中时候的死记硬背）
            • 香港 （ 不会广东话， 也遇到你说的这种歧视/沟通误解情况，什么事都得靠自己， 慢慢适应环境）

        • show that you've struggled to get to your success despite yoru failures

  • BUSINESS

    • online peer support community

      • koko
      • mind hk

    • chat with kayla lafi

      • good for startup
      • she is a normal, not charming

  • SKILLS

    • 和过去一样，我们的目标还一致吗？

    • Storytelling is key for most things involving people

      • Tell the story as if you’re living it
      • You want her to feel like you felt at the time
      • Involving her and pausing at the right times
        • “do u like …?”
        • maybe I’ll take you to one some time

  • MEETUP

    • language
    • huoguo @shatin

2024-04-15

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • read more, do more
      • less surfing online

  • BUSINESS

    • Business/Negotiations

      • resolving conflict
      • [Business Made Simple]
      • [事實與偏見]

    • What will u do?

      • website

  • Learning

    • JS/Programming

      • nextjs

    • EQ

    • reading

      • <老婆使用說明書>

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 你同耶穌的關係
      • Live a life with him
      • how?
    • 而不是某種價值觀

  • SELF

    • 时刻在想你的主要任务，你究竟在做什么， 你究竟是在追求什么

    • 有独当一面的地方， 才有价值

    • what makes you feel most alive, energized

    • EQ

      • Self-awareness
        • you know your own strengths and weaknesses
        • help u train yourself to think about your emotions
          • why you feel as you do

      • empathy

        • demo on understanding of their emotions and not necessarily experiencing the same for myself
        • "It sounds like you are really upset with what happened?"
          • this creates a positive atmosphere for problem solving
          • it doesn't matter if you don't agree with or even like them

      • compassion as being empahy in action

        • being feelings (from the heart)
        • "I am sorry for your loss. That's an awful thing to have happened"

      • others social awareness

        • good listeners, and figure out what's important to the people they speak with
        • perceive formal and informal power structures, group dynamics and appealing to the right people

    • Choose your friends carefully

      • mature and have enough self-confidence to build trust over time
        • self-esteem is self-confidence is one's own worth, abilities, or morals
      • then set expectations at the start about what you can and can't share
      • be clear in your roles in conversation, whether you're talking in "work mode" or "friend mode"

    • 互利共生， 妥协共好的良善社会原则

  • Families

    • focus on what you find attractive about her, you'll be more in tune with your natural male instincts

  • BUSINESS

    • 互利共生， 妥协共好的良善社会原则

      • 右派的封建性的讲人情文化；左派要人权，讲制度， 不讲义气和恩情
      • 西方电影大都是建构， 有解，有希望
      • 没完没了的痛苦和破坏，结局无法升华，无家可归

    • 管理

      • 威尔考克斯创造了一种球队文化，那就是失败是可以接受的，但前提是要从中吸取教训，并纠正错误
      • 他只想让我做自己，以最好的状态发挥我最大的特长，那就是带球和过掉后卫； 在战术上，他会教我一些东西，告诉我该怎么做，这取决于哪场比赛

    • ideas

      • 工業機械人和自動駕駛軟件 的銷售商

  • SKILLS

    • 世俗国家男人

      • 他一直是个工具人的角色， 他的荣誉感在于提供， 又怎么好意思索要？
      • 对人生，他尽他的义务， 满足他的欲望

    • 中国人

      • 历史上不断被打败的奴隶民族
      • 物质上一向匮乏, 人品上本能地会占便宜
      • 精神上慢慢恨意， 身体上多半十分难看，
      • 名声上全世界都瞧不起， 谁沾上水倒霉的一种次等人状态

    • china

      • 准备打仗思维
        • 统制经济（为了打仗）
        • 战争动员体制
        • 按照最坏的角度看
      • 仇视美帝，要一边倒
        • 李小玲
        • 杨奎松

  • MEETUP

    • reading
      • [世界简史]
      • [Business Made Simple]
      • [事實與偏見]
    • bible group
    • teamlab

2024-04-08

• TODO

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • read more, do more
      • less movies

  • BUSINESS

    • Business/Negotiations

      • resolving conflict

    • What will u do?

  • Learning

    • JS/Programming

    • EQ

    • reading

      • <世界简史>
      • <老婆使用說明書>

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • 认识自己 - 自己是怎样的人

      • 你想怎么样
      • 你现在在做什么

    • 找到自己的定位

      • 有独当一面的地方， 才有价值
        • 基于自己的经验和能力
      • 即说自己， 也照顾到其他人
        • 这个是我的性格， 我觉得每个人的性格都不一样

    • 要计较

      • 很容易让人占你便宜
      • 事情没讲清楚，结果最后反而对方预期太大， 跟你预期不一样
      • 先小人后君子

    • 容易相处， 不得罪人

      • 保持同好多人基本关系

    • EQ

      • 自信 - 没有绝对对与错

        • 任何时间 在这个世界都有依靠 - 很安全
        • 不轻易打击他的自信

      • 毅力

        • 遇到困难不放弃

      • 自律

        • 管得住自己

      • 反省

        • 以大原则为前提

      • 忍耐

        • 可以长远考虑

    • Don't fight with your mistake

    • 深蓝色毛衣

  • FAMILIES

    • Respect
      • Recognize her opinion as equal to yours
      • if you disagree with a girl, stick to the facts
      • ask her opinion regularly
        • ask a girl for her opinion on things regularly to show that you care what she thinks

  • BUSINESS

    • Do things that doesn't scale

      • have to do lot things all by yourself, which is not required in the log run
      • you do it for first few, get critical mass and the nget things moving

    • associate people who have a common goal and also have a lot of passion for what we collectively wanna do

      • 能够和有共同目标的人交流， 他们对我们共同想做的事有热情

    • 想清楚自己做一件事的时候， 究竟是追求什么

      • 每个阶段都去观察自己有什么机会和有什么资源， 怎样最好利用这些机会去带到最大的成本效益

    • 初次创业

      • 不熟不做
      • 有无前途？ - 大势
      • 是否资本密集
      • 你的定位？
        • 帮人成立基金， 而不是做基金

      • 不同之处

        • 在这门生意上 与人有什么不同， 市场是否钟意

      • 你的人才

        • 可以找到关键岗位的人
        • 销售， 管账（成本， 渠道）， 技术

    • 企业家

      • 求胜心 - 想做的比别人好
      • 如何扩张 - 不进则退
      • 敢去赌
      • 能接受失败

    • 勤力

      • 要熟悉每一个环节
        • 任何新想法， 大多数人都认为不合适， 因为多一事不如少一事， 你要改任何事，他们就要多做一些
      • 做任何事都先讲困难
      • 虚心去观察别人， 寻求改进自己
        • 学新的概念，新科技
        • 深入了解行业

    • 节俭

      • 可以对别人阔绰， 对自己节俭

    • 生意

      • 协议达成
        • 人际关系
        • 合约 - 谈判能力
      • 操作的生意人
        • 工厂， 餐厅
        • 给客人最高的价值

    • 企业家

      • 管理， 市场

    • 事业家

      • 做好自己的事

    • 想如何做好

      • 职人精神
      • 时刻在想你的主要任务，究竟在做什么
      • 追求无限量的进步
      • 想如何突破

  • SKILLS

    • nextjs

      • finish a nextjs blog project

    • regualte yourself emotionally

      • Dealing with someone difficult requires an ability to regulate yourself emotionally.
        • it's being able to understand what's going on for u and for them, and the adapting your communication style so you can get the best outcome, whether that's influence or persuasion or bringing about some form of cooperation or collaboration

    • 自由社会

      • 私人产权
      • 公民社会组织
      • 基本社会共识
        • 启蒙

    • 极权基因

      • 苏俄

        • 沙俄帝制
        • 东正教 -》 俄语 -》 俄国
          • 共产思想来自于基督教
          • 没有哲理
        • 秘密组织

      • 中国

        • 中华帝制
        • 秘密组织 - 白莲教

    • CHINA

      • 国人强调个人竞争
      • 中国专制主义，自上而下

      • 牺牲多样性， 追求规模的执念

        • 维持统治

      • 西方 强调 合作

  • MEETUP

    • LANGUAGE

      • NOT GOOD, cannot meet good ones

    • IMAGINELAND

      • good conerts

2024-04-01

• TODO

  • GOD

  • Learning

    • JS/Programming

    • EQ

    • Business/Negotiations
      • resolving conflict

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • Lucid self - you happen to be watching one's thoughts, emotions, and sensor world

      • you can pull back and see everything
      • Distance yourself from your psyche
        • do this by setting the direction of your life when you're clear and not letting the wavering mind deter you
      • maintain objective awareness instead of being lost in them

    • 多附和对方

      • 气氛很重要， 扮演好

  • FAMILIES

    • 做她的好朋友， 扮演好“老公”角色

    • She will feel a 'connection' with you and her interest will rise

      • Understand them, don't try to fix her problems
        • Listen to her and add in your thoughts
      • When a trait or feeling comes up that you agree with, tell her

  • BUSINESS

    • Negotiation

      • Understand first
        • people wanna be understood and accepted
        • you demo empathy and a sincere desire to understand what the other side is experiencing

      • Negotiation is not a battle. It's a dicovery

        • smiling
        • mirroring - run smoothly and makes the opponent reveal more information

      • Label the emotion

        • help you to confirm that you have identified the right emotion
        • it signals to your opponent that you truly understand him which creates a stronger bond and makes your opponent like you
          • summary what your opponent just told you and give it back to him
          • "It seems like ..."
        • label all the negative things that your opponent might say against you duing the meeting
          • your opponent will be more focused on the solution rather than complaining

      • "That is right"

        • it puts the other side's empathy on steroids

    • 生意 + 投资理财

      • 股票
      • 买楼

    • 第一次创业

      • 自己很熟悉的行业
      • 前途
      • 生产 + 管理 + 销售
      • 共患难， 共富贵

    • 第二次生意

      • 管理才能
        • 如何建立团队
          • 默契 - 沟通顺畅， 责任划分清楚， 愿景目标一致
          • 彼此互补
            • 产品 - 工匠
            • 市场与品牌经营 - 商人
            • 协调与建立制度管理 - 总管
      • 找一个帮你的人
        • 有个事要靠你

    • ideas

      • 民间工艺品

  • SKILLS

    • 遇到不该留痕的话题 就别在线上讨论

      • 必须知情的同事就告诉他 “你过来找我当面聊” 遇到不一定合规合法的操作就拉律师进来， 邮件标题和群聊标题加 “a/c priv”
      • 在美国公司想要做一些比较敏感的事， 最重要的 mindset 是想好如何公关
        • 如果我们今天做的事情明天出现在 New York Times， 这对我们来说意味着什么？ 我们要怎样处理

    • china

      • 政府所制定的政策是 如何使得政府更有钱， 从而能更自如地操纵企业，民众

        • 政府并不创造条件， 让全体百姓去享受制造业的惠利

      • 受中共管控的企业 追求的是 大钱和快钱， 只能从西方富有国家那里挣得

      • 中共有意在国贸中去强化不对称关系， 企业从政府中获得各种补贴 进而人为地压低价格

    • 现实中 只有少数人能够分离观点和事实 然后就 事实进行建设性的讨论

      • 中国政治环境对此产生负面影响，因为从合法性开始就依赖于 “我这一方的观点即事实”的断言
      • 陈述观点时 加上 “我认为” 或者引入量化思维 “我有 80%的信心认为”

  • MEETUP

    • hkwalls

      • it's good
      • 西環是個好愜意的地方

    • 觀影

      • 張晉 武俠
      • 《雙重幻想》

2024-03-25

• TODO

  • GOD

  • lifestyle

    • 早睡早起

  • Learning

    • JS/Programming

    • EQ

    • Business/Negotiations
      • resolving conflict

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 理性地用教义指导生活， 以及获得情感满足

    • 爱 和 calling

      • 可以改变自己当下的选择和追求
        • 学习喝新酒，发展新的口味
      • 只有当下可以活， 当下都是给未来撒种
        • 过去不能改变， 未来还不存在
      • 我们所有决定的总和就是我们的命运

    • feeling safe and accept just as I am, and believe god will give me the future

      • will u walk with Jesus?
      • Dear Jesus, I believe you Thank you for forgiving me Come into my life and I will follow you

    • talk with GOD based on bible

  • SELF

    • you happen to be watching one's thoughts, emotions, and sensor world

    • 我要当欲望的主人， 而不是欲望的奴隶

    • learn how to make money and how to own assets

    • 安抚外界的疑问

      • 试图维护自己的主张

  • FAMILIES

    • 发现问题后选择先各退一步， 并从沟通中寻找解决办法
      • 不以威胁或说服的态度强逼对方接受， 让两人立场都被重视， 不会因为屈就而让某一方委屈

  • BUSINESS

    • 管理

      • 找到对的人

        • 沟通顺畅， 责任划分清楚， 且对公司的愿景都一致

      • 让周围的人对你有某种品牌印象

        • 让别人知道你的专长价值在哪里
        • 让别人有个认识我们的标签
        • 先把自己的品牌建立起来， 让更多人认识我们， 让别人知道我们的专长； 我们就比较容易参与重要有趣的案子，累积了几个好案子， 就会走入“正循环”中

      • 多思考建立团队 而非实现点子

        • 考验与对方默契
        • 找目标接近的人， 而不要以点子为合作起点
        • 创业的关键， 在于你是否能尽早找到彼此互补的 “最小战斗单位”
          • 强大的工匠角色处理产品，有商人思考市场性与品牌经营， 有总管在背后协调与建立制度管理
          • 只要彼此对商业模式有认同， 爆发力就会出来

    • 管理风格 - 合适

      • 相信一个理念， 只要我们把所有的细节都做好了， 所有合适的人都放在合适的位置上， 在合适的环境中做合适的事情， 在体育精英环境中， 结果就是水到渠成的

      • 合适的人才

        • 合理的待遇， 以及自主权
        • 能力 和性格

      • 制定清楚流程， 避免微观管理和分工不清

      • 白纸黑字写明工作流程

        • 不只是围绕如何完成工作， 还有背后的原因

      • 尊重团队成员

        • 释放控制权， 让优秀人才主导自己的工作

      • 沟通

        • 需要清晰直接地进行沟通
        • 比如适当的时间， 合适的语气

    • 有限责任公司 LLC

      • 最大的好处 是 它可以保护企业主免受 任何企业债务或负债的个人责任
      • 私营股份有限公司 - 股本/董事

    • 电商

      • 大众消费， 自己钟意和熟悉的

  • SKILLS

    • 提供情绪价值， 利益交换， 某种立场结盟

    • learn nextJS

    • china

      • 缺乏国际视角 international perspective

        • 只关注中国， 就好像他们是世界中心

      • 受害者情结 victim mentality

      • 低调一点

        • 至少说一些本地语言

  • MEETUP

    • 驾照考试

    • bible 活动

    • 飞盘活动

    • cpd

2024-03-18

• TODO

  • GOD

  • lifestyle

    • 早睡早起

  • Learning

    • EQ
    • Negotiations
      • resolving conflict
    • Driving
    • JS

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 信心是对神的认知
      • 信心是向着神
    • 爱心是向着圣徒
      • 喜乐 是恩典
      • 交托给神， 神的旨意

    • 盼望是在于未来

    • 凡事向他诉说

      • 祷告时，不要寻求感觉，你要信住的灵与你同在； 只要照着你里面所觉得的，或照着你的记忆， 一件一件的向主认罪，直到你再无可认， 从感觉，记忆里都没有了。 然后你应该相信，就在这时，你已被灵所充满
        • 认罪就是倒出自己， 祷告就是接受主
        • 我们呼出罪，也就吸入神自己

  • SELF

    • Feel her mood or trusted

      • humor - laugh
      • drinking
      • food

    • 配合气氛

    • 明白自己真正需要什么， 一定要光明正大的去争取， 不然好事永远不会落到你头上

      • 自己不喜欢什么，一定得大大方方地讲出来， 不然别人会认为你并不在意

    • ask people how they think not what they think

    • 将军

      • 利用机构 一个人做几百个人做的事

    • 求知探索就是最大的乐趣

  • FAMILIES

    • 走进这个人的心里 - 信任+尊重
      • 建立性张力
        • flirting - 幽默， 逗她笑
        • 温柔缓慢 肢体接触
        • 身体接触（耳朵，肩膀， 后背）
      • 让女生感受到 你对她感兴趣
        • 适当的夸赞

  • BUSINESS

    • 果断地向重要人物发起互动， 询问信息并请求资源

      • 发出群体为导向的信号
        • 目的是推动所在群体的利益
        • 避免刻板印象 - 女性比男性更需要将群体和他人的需求置于自身利益之上
      • 工具性网络 （寻求建议，请求资源和建立联盟） + 情感性网络 （友谊和社会支持）

    • Entrepreneurship

      • Yes, we can

        • know and build on your core competencies
        • build on them, invest in them, nurture them, make them more robust

      • Problem-first, not product-first logic

      • Think Narrow, not broad

      • Ask for the cash, ride the float

        • cash is the lifeblood of the entrepreneurial venture

      • Beg, Borrow

        • Borrow most of the assets they needed

      • Never ask permission (Beg forgiveness later)

        • Big companies have armies of lawyers
          • 'yes' takes a long time
          • anyone can say 'No'

    • Management

      • the art of delegating

      • resolving conflict

        • it's about resolution, not winning

        • Give up on the idea of 'winning'

          • being the person who helps everyone get on the same page so they can move forward

        • start by looking for common ground, start to sort out the facts and key priorities

          • why does each person think what they think?
          • Is there outside information that could influence or persuade them otherwise?
          • why do u think what you think?

        • Focus on the facts (not the perceptions)

          • only speak for yourself, talk about your experience, your knowledge, and the facts at hand
          • just look at what is in front of you
            • what is the goal
            • what are the possible solutions
            • how can we measure each of them
            • do we have any experiences or resources we can draw on to get more information
            • how can we reach a compromise that acknowledges everyone's needs?

        • repeat back the other person's words to them

          • “ ok, that makes sense. Just to make sure I completely understand, you are saying …”

        • stick with it and seek a conclusion

          • it is better to seek a conclusion to the conflict than to just accept it

      • leadership

        • your relationships mean the most

          • the team and people matter more than the work, role or subject matter

        • Do what matters

          • work as close to the customers and the money as you can
          • Ideally results should be measurable and conencted to customers (or top level directives)

        • customers are everything

          • focus on what customers care about and how you can add value

        • Act like an owner

          • be grateful; embrace and appreciate every opportunity

        • Over communicate and be as transparent as you can

          • Never be afraid of bad news; it's always better to get ahead of it

    • If you care about the outcome, focus on what's right, not who is right

      • The best response is "You might be right"

    • ideas

      • 免费买卖二手书
      • talk with God based on bible

  • SKILLS

    • some programming

    • Ask questions

      • gets audience involved, frames a conversation
      • Reframe as a conversation, not as a performance

    • 驾驶考试 Fail

      • 有些害怕失去信心

    • 英国

      • 喜欢避免冲突， 假装没事
      • 自嘲 是最多人喜欢的事
        • 我们都是一般人
      • 脚踏实地的生活
      • 平凡而快乐 而不是 一直暴露在傲慢而成功的人面前

  • MEETUP

    • AI 与新科学

      • AI 作为 连接器的角色
      • Ai is good at understanding very high-dim data and extract underlying patterns/relationship from very large data
      • 寻找高纬空间数据的低维结构
        • 学习压缩/解压缩
        • 学习转换（非线形）
      • chatDoctor

    • 理发， 洗牙

    • Meet up with 独行者组织

      • 多听别人的发言
      • 感觉不是同龄人， 考虑问题不太一致

    • 看剧《三少爷的剑》

      • 有些浪费时间

2024-03-11

• TODO

  • GOD

  • lifestyle

    • 早睡早起

  • Learning

    • EQ
    • Negotiations
    • Driving
    • JS

  • English/Cantonese

    • Shadowing on a daily basis
    • follow the speech at the same time

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 要常常喜乐， 不住祷告， 凡事谢恩

  • SELF

    • 我们要时刻保持自信， 纵然有时你并不这样认为，但时间久了渐渐就自然会有自信

      • 保着同理心， 多尝试去了解别人

    • 珍惜自己时间

    • 积极锻炼， 喜欢社交

    • 只有一件事会使人疲劳， 那就是摇摆不定，优柔寡断

      • 每做一件事， 都会使人身心解放，即使把事情办坏了， 也比什么都不做强 —— 斯蒂芬·茨威格

  • FAMILIES

    • 配合气氛， 即使假装

  • BUSINESS

    • partner

      • commit + value
      • 专业人士

    • ideas

      • 心理学
        • rootd
      • 过期知名域名
        • 使用 AI 向这些网站提供内容

  • MEETUP

    • meet with Laila

      • Improve your english

    • meet with David

      • 务实

  • SKILLS

    • driving
      • 超越物体
    • 中国官场潜规则，是 二把手要主动去挑明一把手对二把手的意图
      • 不能等着一把手主动来找二把手挑明，不然对一把手而言，就落下了痕迹，暴露了一把手的意图，让其他看穿了一把手的心思，这是官场的一大禁忌，也是二把手必须具备的政治智慧

2024-03-05

• TODO

  • GOD

  • lifestyle

    • 早睡早起
  • Learning
    • EQ
    • Negotiations
    • JS
    • English/Cantonese

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • 静坐半个时辰， 让自己心静下来，防止处于浮躁状态，被事务牵着走

  • LOVE

    • 以大哥哥的角度传输

      • 懂得比对方多

    • teasing

      • 幽默，让对方笑起来
    • 适当的肢体接触

    • flirting

      • 调情
      • 时机和度
      • 性暗示笑话或文字

    • 转场

      • 酒吧， 溜达
      • 要不要来我家

  • FAMILIES

  • BUSINESS

    • partner

      • 专业人士， 也有商业头脑， 有自己的想法
      • 成熟自信， 有精神力
      • 开朗，积极

    • 想象有足够吸引人的功能来进入这个竞争激烈的市场

      • 观察，等待， 然后完善现有的早期科技产品

    • meet with Iris Wang

      • 她有些迷茫
      • 希望被别人 leader

    • meet with Marie

      • 赞同她的 commit + value
      • 感觉她对 股权，利益分配不是很在行
      • 项目也不是很有吸引力和有前景

  • MEETUP

    • 飞盘

  • SKILLS

    • 商业社交
      • 发现对方关注点，制造共同话题 - topic
      • 令对方对你产生兴趣 - interest
        • 送小礼物
        • 分享“小秘密”， 拉近距离
        • 多称赞对方
        • 说“对方感兴趣”的话题
      • 层层推进， 切入 保险 - points
        • 通过简单问题铺垫，引导向风险，引发对方对风险的思考，切入保险功用
      • 尝试成交
    • driving

2024-02-26

• TODO

  • Learning
    • EQ
    • Negotiations
    • JS
    • English/Cantonese

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • 预判意图
    • 不纠结
      • 对身不由己的事， 自己也没办法负责

    • making fun of sth

      • relax and talk freely, and know the girl

    • 成熟和自信的人

    • 没有犯法， 很多事情觉得做的不理想， 承认不足或不够

  • FAMILIES

  • BUSINESS

    • 觉察到人 较重视什么 才是重点
      • 激发他人的需要

    • 思考本身也很有趣， 中间逻辑通不通， 有哪些实证

    • 沟通技能

      • 我只认识乔尔和阿夫拉姆， 他们是非常好的人，很有礼貌，也是曼联的狂热支持者。 我理解球迷们的沮丧和愤怒， 但我会向前看，而不是向后看
      • 我们将评估自己有多少可用资金， 并善加利用。 我们必须找到世界上最优秀的人才， 且确保他们拥有好的性格和人格，同时也要为精英体育人士的成功创造良好的环境

  • MEETUP

    • meet with 云姨
      • 很好的一个开始

  • SKILLS

2024-02-19

• TODO

  • SELF

  • BUSINESS

  • LEARNRNING

    • negotiation
    • JS
    • English pronunication
      • work on eliminating your accent
        • this changes how natives behave towards you unconsciously, And it also gives you an ability to adapt to a new self-image
      • repeat the sentence until speaker tells you no accent
        • find a native speaker to help u
      • use verbs and expressions that locals use
      • adopting cultural traits
    • EQ

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • 不纠结

      • 对身不由己的事情， 自己也没办法负责

    • 她们的内在力量是 自由和自尊

      • 力量的源泉， 是父母的爱与尊重， 支持与信任
      • 很多欧美的姑娘，无论是活波开朗，还是安静内向， 言谈举止都是从容舒展， 闪耀着超越年龄的智慧光芒
        • 几个东亚来的，无论年龄性别， 都像兔子一样， 无时无刻不在察言观色，迎合， 躲闪

    • flirty vibe or playfull

      • making fun of sth, 調侃

      • relax and talk freely, and know the girl

        • don't take yourself too seriously

      • maybe they could like you

        • "I was wonderfuling if you wanted to get a drink sometime?"
        • we should get a drink sometime; I know this really cool place. I'd like to take you out

        • such as family, work, hobbies, people on the other tables, food

        • a bar

          • feel relaxed and comfortable and able to talk
          • maybe going a walk

      • we should do this again sometime

        • a very brief, light kiss at the end
        • " so are we exclusive?"
        • "where do u stand on that?"

    • 你认为我该做些什么呢？

  • FAMILIES

  • BUSINESS

    • RF workshop limited

      • BEAN lab

    • 曹興誠

      • 解决问题 - 研究

        • 面临什么问题， 该怎么解决，这中间逻辑怎么样，有哪些事证

      • 管理很簡單，就是邏輯加常識

        • 從常識判斷，曹興誠掌握人性對成就感的渴望，鼓勵員工為聯電集團創業
          • 「出土開疆闢土，是我們最高的榮譽，」曹興誠藉由不斷成立新公司，讓部屬出去當總經理，打造新的舞台。聯電的關係企業網綿密，透過聯電與各子公司間的互相投資持股，魚幫水、水幫魚，讓彼此的地位都更穩固

        • 從邏輯分析，將利潤分享員工，最能留住人才、累積專業，並且吸引更多人才進來，所以聯電開風氣之先發股票紅利給員工

        • 財務操作靈活善布局

      • 謀事者眾，則成， 謀事者寡，則敗

        • 他相信集思廣益能創造最大效果。進入聯電後，他就開始組織核心團隊

      • 主動出擊

        • 即使遭受攻擊，也要積極反抗，絕不坐以待斃，從聯電積極申請專利上就可看出

    • 王維基

      • 看到当地需要什么， 然后有很强的能力去思考一个方案，解决这个问题
        • 解决的过程就会改变那个现状，以及改变自己的处境
      • 我尝试自己先做， 作一个示范； 这样同事会觉得被受尊重，才会愿意跟随你工作
        • 成熟和可信的同事， 放手被他来做

  • SKILLS

    • 贝叶斯 - 旧假设 + 新证据 = 新假设

      • 先有一个先验猜测（主管判断），然后根据经验事实不断地修正先验， 得到更为合理的后验概率 （更客观世界的本质）

    • 理论缺乏一贯性

      • 也就是说， 是依靠权力而生的

  • MEETUP

2024-02-14

• TODO

  • SELF

  • FAMILIES

  • BUSINESS

  • LEARNING

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 作为自己的 core

  • SELF

    • 自己要先相信自己

      • 不认输， 毅力，魄力， 有良知

    • focus on building yourself physically, mentally, and financially, your business and your life

    • adventurous, honest, well-read

    • 制造对你的好感

      • 仪容整洁
      • 表达到你这个人
      • 保持微笑
      • 适当的招呼
      • 不要有小动作，不要大力点头
      • 保持眼神接触，望住对方额头
      • 细心聆听， 对不同的人讲不同的话
      • 不要谈政治，婚姻，宗教
      • 适当时间， 大胆进攻
      • 目标论
      • 资料收集和了解对方

  • FAMILIES

    • create her like your annoying little sister

      • playfully teasing her and making her laugh
        • this can help u to create a lighthearted and fun dynamic between you two
      • listen and support her when she needs it
        • this can help to build trust and strengthen your bond
      • be protective of her
        • show that you care about her and are protective of her, just as you would be with a little sister
        • this can help to make her feel safe and secure around you

    • 为了共同塑造和谐的伴侣关系，明确地向对方表达自己的愿望和需求非常重要

  • BUSINESS

    • 看到香港人需要什么， 然后有很强的能力去思考一个方案，解决这个问题

      • 很强的思考解决方案的能力， 很强的执行力
      • 工作就是生命

    • idea - 投资市场可以接受的技术

      • 需要技术，这项技术一定赢

      • 需要有好的计划， 告诉投资者，这是可行的计划

      • 然后，成与败 只在于团队的执行力

        • 起起伏伏很正常， 魄力， 不用多想
        • 团队的执行力， 大型计划是需要熬的

      • 小公司， 转身快， 接触到客户要求，理解市场变化大

        • 大公司， 有包袱， 会伤害到自己的传统盈利

    • partner

      • 有成功案例， 性格适合
      • 主动，有责任心， 对这个事情上心
      • 服务行业

    • 生意的本質 是價值交換

      • 營銷的本質 是找對人，說對話
      • 銷售的本質 是幫助客戶解決問題

    • eastern society

      • tend to be dialectical thinker, a grey area
      • emphasise the use of self-criticism, maintain group harmony

    • western society

      • analytical thinking
        • pay more attention to focal objects and specific details, and tend to believe the outcome is a clear result of a cause and effect relationship
      • self-enhancement
        • one directly express his desires and promote his self-images; He is open and direct about his abilities and accomplishements

    • 合法避税， 是对自己财富负责任的管理

  • SKILLS

    • 港人重机敏， 多趋利， 但做人仍有原则，亦多认同普世价值

      • 趋利而行，不落人后，正是港人特色

    • 国人用口号与标签， 代替求证和思考

  • MEETUP

    • 台灣行沒能成行
      • 申請太晚， 太大意

2024-02-05

• TODO

  • SELF

  • LEARNING

    • Management

    • Languagne

    • PROGRAMMING

      • JS programming + react

    • COUSES

      • <轻创业>

      • <底层逻辑>

      • Entrepreneurship For Everyone

      • Exercising Leadership: Foundational Principles

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • 外圆内方

      • 过于真诚， 追求真理
      • 每个人的着眼点，利益不同
      • 顺着对方的思路， 了解对方的着眼点

    • 要会算数， 要精明

      • 商界讲究的是 互赢
      • 要知道自己的目的/目标
      • 要了解对方的着眼点
        • 过于负责
      • 实惠
      • 谈判能力

    • 西方的管理模式 + 内里的儒家哲学

      • optimistic and driven people
      • 让员工有归属感，安心， 让员工喜欢你
      • 推销生意

    • pronounication is the key

      • work on eliminating your accent

        • this changes how natives behave towards you unconsciously, And it also gives you an ability to adapt to a new self-image

        • repeat the sentence until speaker tells you no accent

      • adopting cultural traits

      • use verbs and expressions that locals use

  • FAMILIES

    • having fun with the woman
      • don't take your outings so seriously
      • a woman must feel comfortable and secure with u before intimacy can begin

  • BUSINESS

    • SAAS

      • Language learning
      • 网站
      • 中介+community

    • product manager who looks at a product from a CEO’s perspective and focuses on its commercialisation, marketing, and profitability

    • 有策略展示自己的能力和價值

      • 让对方认识到他们比你更需要你

    • 现金流管理

      • 应急 + 储蓄
      • 将剩下的大部分钱用了犒赏自己，花在任何可能让生活变得更轻松的事情上
      • 税务规划 是最经济的爬山路径

  • SKILLS

    • 吸引别人注意力和好感

      • 发射什么信号，就吸引什么类型的人
      • 笑容，乐观积极，对人友好
      • 自信而不傲慢
      • 对他人真诚的兴趣，对对方的关注和兴趣
      • 倾听的艺术， 对对方的尊重和理解
      • 幽默

    • 普通法 common law

      • 重視案例判決， 且互相援引；司法獨立，法官可以演繹條例
      • 普通法可以跨國援引， 無形中服從一定國際規範（英美規範）， 進而可以保障商人利益
      • botwoon-up
      • 法律經濟學
      • 大陸法 civil law
        • 比較硬性法規
        • top-down

    • china

      • 对人一点真诚都没有

        • 不尊重自己，业不尊重别人， 喜欢看别人痛苦

      • 中国人在意活着的感受，而忽略精神性发展

        • 放弃对真理的追求
      • 山头文化
        • 大哥

  • MEETUP

2024-01-29

• TODO

  • JOBS

    • langauge partner

      • 製作企劃書

      • 文心科技 - 文心雕龍

        • RZ Workshop Limited

  • taiwan trip

  • Learning

    • course

      • [Marketing Management]
      • <轻创业>
      • JS programming

    • English/Cantonese - Pronunication is the key

      • work on eliminating your accent
      • adopting cultural traits
      • repeat the sentence until speaker tells you no accent
      • use verbs and expressions that locals use

    • 現金流管理

      • 保險 是個很好的行業 - 底線思維
      • 稅務規劃 - 最經濟的路徑

• REVIEW

  • GOD

  • SELF

    • who feels when I feel?

      • I am behind everything, just watching
      • I look outside, and see all that I see
        • I am aware of the thoughts, emotions, and a world coming in through my senses

    • 磨练你的 书面和口头表达能力

      • 发射什么信号，就吸引什么类型的人
      • 正能量 - 笑容，积极乐观，对人友好
      • 自信而不傲慢， 幽默
      • 对他人真诚的关注和兴趣
      • 倾听，对对方尊重和理解

    • Buy yourself cake and flowers and get through it. It's not over until it's over

      • Do small things that give you immediate gratification and keep going

    • Life must be felt, not observed

      • to create, to excel, and to be concerned about the world and its affairs.

    • 自信与幸福感都是内聚而外绽， 是点滴超越自我，对实质精进的肯定

      • 诚实面对内在，摒弃暗黑懦弱，果敢取舍提升，才有真正的尊严与竞争力

  • FAMILIES

    • 扮演老婆的閨蜜

      • 溫柔體貼
      • 同理心

    • Talking to girls - understand her, don't try to fix her

      • Listen to her and add in your thoughts
      • When a trait or feeling comes up that you agree with, tell her
      • she will feel a 'connection' with you and her interest will rise

  • BUSINESS

    • 先谈好利益再行动

      • 对方真心 Buy 啥

    • leaders improve the effectiveness by moving back and forth in different contexts

      • the expert vs the learner
      • the constant vs the adaptor
      • the tactician vs the visionary
        • well-defined plans
      • the teller vs the listener
      • the power holder vs the power sharer
      • the intuitionist vs the analyst
      • the perfectionist vs the accelerator

    • manager

      • 負責足球談話， 讓球員和經紀知道他們如何融入項目，回答任何战术问题，以及为什么这笔交易是有意义的； 然后是合同方面的问题

    • 拉特克利夫的副手戴夫-布雷斯福德在体育界备受尊敬，并以建立高标准而闻名

      • 以在他周围建立了一支强大的专家团队而闻名，这些专家都是该领域最好的，同时也培养了一种强大的心态

  • SKILLS

    • 自由意志才有道德底线

    • Pronunication is the key

      • work on eliminating your accent
      • adopting cultural traits
      • repeat the sentence until speaker tells you no accent
      • use verbs and expressions that locals use

    • 美国成功的人都不是咬牙切齿的

      • 把自己榨得太厉害的人， 情感人格都失调，无以为继，没后劲
      • 而不是 遵循内心的 passion 一直干下去

  • MEETUP

    • no show on hiking

2024-01-22

• TODO

  • jobs

    • 我自己得是 ceo
      • 商业策划书
      • partner
        • 靠谱，自驱力， 有相关 IT/business 技能， team-work
      • 助理
        • 靠谱，情绪坚强，年纪大一些

  • courses

    • [Marketing Management]
    • <轻创业>
    • JS programming

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • sin - miss the goal

      • 错失靶心
      • 悔改

    • who you look after to who you become

    • 自己去读圣经，自己去跟上帝对话，然后自己去理解这个世界

      • 核心就是对个人解放，个人权利，自我决策空间，掌握自己的命运的空间
      • 加尔文对 《申命记》的重新解释

    • “不要只在眼前事奉，像是讨人喜欢的，乃要像基督的奴仆，从心里实行神的旨意” - 弗六 6 - “用善意服事，好像对主，不像对人“ - 弗六 7

  • SELF

    • distance yourself from the voice talking

      • conscious enough to understand
      • commit yourself to freedom
      • the voice talking uses your mind to buffer yourself from life, instead of living it

    • 我到底是谁，我最在乎什么

      • 先要为自己，即使把所有其他人都忘记掉
      • 追求自己的兴趣，这样成功的概率也更高
      • 普通人唯一的出路就是多读书
      • 打上个人烙印，有自己的比赛风格

    • 把要做的事先想出来，先脑内预演一遍， 且尽可能构思出细节

    • 发展最终目的是提供自由选择，以及自己选择可以最终实现

      • 所有东西的货币化， 进而我去追求我最在乎的东西，非货币的东西

    • 未来怎么样取决于现在

      • 不同身份的组合，组成独特的我

  • FAMILIES

    • 避免制造会引发痛苦记忆的“负向触法机制”

      • 女人对话双回路， 心灵（情绪）与事实

      • 先对女性的心灵（情绪）深处予以肯定，不论在事实上要予以肯定还是否定

        • 决定不要在心灵（情绪）上予以否定
        • “你的心情我能充分理解，如果我遇到一样情况，也会这么做，但那是不对的”
        • “我了解你的感受”
        • “这个我自己也想过”，“这着眼点很不错”， 等接受其提案的热情，再回应“不过，企划案本身还不够理想，请再努力试试”

      • 同理心回应

        • 扮演老婆的闺蜜角色
        • 只要表现得很有同感就可以
        • 应声附和 “嗯，我懂，真得好容易”
        • 女性脑一旦产生同理心便能疏解压力
          • 女人交谈的目的，在于寻求同理心
          • 女性脑经由他人“我懂”的同理态度，可以让过多压力讯号消退
          • 女性脑即使是别人的体验，只要有同理心加上情感标记，也能将之视为自己的体验来运用

      • 重点在于老公曾对自己感同身受的记忆

        • 闺蜜角色， 是要把“琐碎的体验（抱怨或发现）讲出来送给对方，并在对方跟你说这些事的时候，确实表现出同理心，以疏解对方压力”

      • 讨论时要运用商业简报的技巧

        • 针对双方的提案，互相列出优缺点
        • 实际调查并验证
        • 所谓的优点，是对双方都有利，能够有所获得得
        • 基于以上原则来做结论

      • 意见不同时，要提出有利的部分

        • 提出让对方觉得开心的利益

      • 增加老婆的“正向触法机制”

        • 老婆想要的是老公的赞美

        • 女性深信“觉察” 等同于“爱的证明”

          • 表达自己有想要觉察的心意， “抱歉我没注意到”

        • 纪念日和生日是提取记忆的日子

          • 预告 - 女性脑最喜欢期待乐趣的感觉
            • 每一到两个月适度安排一次约会及稍微豪华的周末家中晚餐
            • “你一直想去的那家餐厅”
          • 重复
            • 务必回顾一下两人一路走来的历程，要表达“过去曾发生了很多事，谢谢你一直都对我不离不弃。今后也请继续陪伴我”

        • 平常日 - 女性脑是为所爱的人着想

          • 只要照着老婆的话依样画葫芦地传回去
          • 传达 “不论身在何处，我都想着你” 这种感觉
          • “你一直为我所做的， 我都知道”
          • 伴手礼 + 传统经典甜食
            • 创造能让两人都感到幸福的“经典的幸福甜点”
            • “我从以前就很喜欢这个。吃了有幸福感，对吧”
            • “对不起，害你这么难过”

        • 赞美老婆 必须选在本人心情愉悦时

        • 护花使者 - 温柔体贴

          • 餐厅用餐时让她坐在内侧位
          • 在餐厅，等老婆先做下后自己才坐
          • 先帮忙把门打开并等她通过
          • 下楼梯要站在前面扶着她手臂
          • 替她提重物
          • 经常在她耳边说她很美
          • 每天说一次“我爱你”
          • 早上出门前必定要亲下

  • BUSINESS

    • 现在社会的财富都是金融化的财富

      • 为自由社会里的自由人提供工具： 提前安排好未来风险，保护个人的自由，个人权利，最大化维护自己的尊严
      • 更多的是制度文化决定我们的生活

    • 商业的正名，用钱赚钱的正名

      • 观念/伦理的改革

  • SKILLS

    • talking to girls

      • don't be sweet, listen to her and add in your thoughts (don't try to fix her problems, understand them)
      • when a trait or feeling comes up that you agree with, tell her; she will feel a 'connection' with you and her interest will rise

    • how to talk and how to listen to

      • assume you have something to learn

      • use open-minded questions

        • "what was it like?"
        • "how did that feel?"

      • Listen to understand, don't listen to reply

      • if you don't know, say that you don't know

      • all experiences are individual
      • people only care what do you like, what you have in common

    • 暴力垄断难以转化为对高科技的垄断

      • 黑帮 -> 暴力垄断 -> 企业主
      • 在复杂的产业中，对知识的依赖，会使得黑帮这种简单的权力操作出现困境，太过复杂而无法管理

  • MEETUP

    • hiking @城门水塘
    • 刘瑜 讲座

2024-01-15

• TODO

  • jobs

  • practice the sales skills - learn the needs and preferences, ideas

    • focus on the need, not the solution
    • ask open-ended questions, and allows you to get to more depth of the need you may not have thought before
    • 如何讲故事

  • courses

    • Accounting and Finance

  • 不要赖床刷手机

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 人的局限性 - sin

      • 虽然你心里想好，但是行动不出来
      • 你从生下来就戴着这个无形的枷锁，让你想行事光明、有序、尊贵，却行不出来。让你变成假恶丑的奴隶。这个枷锁，叫罪

    • Dear Jesus, I believe in you, thanks for you forgiving me

  • SELF

    • 外圆内方

      • 顺着对方的思路和对方聊天， 多融入大家的话题
      • Put yourself in the shoes of your customer

      • 不要太抽离,不要把别人过于理想化

      • Go out and creates your chances, No one cares about you, stop being shy

    • 做事勤力，懂得放松

      • 做人及人事方面厉害； 懂得去创造一些机会，让大家去连接

    • 我觉得你有很多钱， 但是没有钱跟我分享，我觉得没有意义

    • I love building products and teams

  • FAMILIES

    • 听下对方的感受

      • 听下她讲什么，感受下她的感受

    • he looked at her with the level of presence and focus for 2m

      • a warm intense eye contact without breaking-up

  • BUSINESS

    • 养成随时记录的习惯

      • 将自己的绩效记录下来实现了一系列加薪

    • managerial jouney is really about observation and reflection

      • keep a journal that allows you to record the events of your life
      • Find role models and mentors who will be able to give you sound advice and judgment that will help u shape a positive future
      • learn something new each year that you did not know

    • Delegating has the mindset

      • being behind the people in terms of giving the direction or something they might not require directions
      • if there is something goes wrong, we should, at least, have that mindset of "ok, we will fix it"

    • Identify a problem and validate the market need

      • build the solution

    • translating an inspiring vision into a clear strategy is something that each leader needs to work on

    • 中国

      • 要么足够有才华，比如信息量，其他， 要么足够软，姿态足够乖巧

  • SKILLS

    • course -

  • MEETUP

    • EQ meetup
    • language meetup on sales, language
    • startup interview

2024-01-08

• TODO

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 上帝帮助那些自助的人

      • 只需要依照福音书的教诲，以耶稣基督为榜样，在尘世中生活、工作，这就是善行
      • 只有上帝知道拣选，这实际上是不可知的。 既然不可知，每一个信徒就没必要去担心自己，业无必要为求择选而格外行善事
      • 加尔文的伦理乃是 自强，自助，勤勉，守信， 虔诚， 在尘世中尽自己的天职

    • 富人的荣耀感

      • 勤奋的创造地上的财富，就是遵从上帝的最好方法
      • 在高处时他们应得的，你富有时因为你内在的某些东西

    • 新教伦理 - 正确使用这些恩赐

      • 我们若思考神为何创造饮食，就会发现这不但是为了人的需要， 也是为了人的享受和使人快乐

    • calling - 上帝安排的任务

      • 上帝应许的唯一生存方式， 不是要人们以苦修的禁欲主义超越世俗道德，而是要人完成个人在现世里所处地位赋予他的责任和义务，这是天职
      • 个人道德活动所能采取的最高形式，应是对其履行世俗事物的义务进行评价

  • SELF

    • 太实在， 容易轻信别人

      • 精于算计
      • take calculated decisions, and keep moving forward

    • 外圆内方

      • Understand their needs
      • Communicate your value
      • Negotiate with respect
      • Follow up with care
      • Learn from feedback

    • Embrace risk, take calculated decisions, and keep moving forward

      • Don't let fear of failure hold you back
      • Fear is the biggest hurdle in the journey

    • Strong, Centred, and confident

      • Most women like men who show strength, resiliency, and adequate self-esteem

    • Go out and creates your changces

      • Stop being shy, no one's care about you

    • self love and self awareness

      • love yourself but alsoe analyze and be critical of how you think, act & behave
      • No sorry, only commit you have is to your own success
      • becoming the best version of yourself requires you cutting negative people out of your life

    • 热忱， 用心和努力 - 自助

      • 做好自己的部分，业看看是否可以照顾下其他人

    • 尽到 85%的努力即可

      • 追求完美往往会让我们感受不佳，筋疲力尽

  • FAMILIES

    • 先小爱，再大爱
      • 眷恋她的身体，眷恋她的灵魂
      • 爱时一种发自内心的不可抑制的激情

  • BUSINESS

    • 集中精力开发管理才能

      • 现金流管理
      • 人事管理
      • 个人时间管理

    • 理财天赋

      • 我想要实现财务自由， 我想要金钱为我工作
      • 参加研讨会，静下心来研究某一专题或开阔视野
      • 先增加自己资产
      • 要为自己想要的东西先付出， 然后才能得到加倍的回报

    • Sales

      • Understand their needs
      • Communicate your value
      • Negotiate with respect
      • Follow up with care
      • Learn from feedback

    • 沟通

      • 理解对方的想法
      • 为啥有这个想法
        • 有一些共同点 - 大家都是想解决这个问题

      • 同意对方的情绪

      • 不需要个人化 - 讨论的都是这个内容

      • 停一停

      • 感受下身体不舒服的地方

        • 深呼吸

    • 金钱应该有价值， 不应该挥霍在毫无实用的物品上

  • SKILLS

    • 贝叶斯思维

      • 不确定性，由新的信息/证据不断迭代

      • p(A|B) = p(B|A) / p(B) * p(A)

        • 先验 p(A)， 新的信息 p(B) （这个新细节一定要独特，足够小概率）， p(B|A) 用来证伪，用来排除

      • 极端思维， 很难证实/证伪这个问题

  • MEETUP

2024-01-02

• TODO

  • JOBS

  • SELF

    • self-talk

      • <清醒地活>

    • management and negotiations

      • <事实与偏见>

  • SKILLS

    • ENGLISH

    • Sales

• REVIEW

  • GOD

    • 正确使用神的恩赐

      • 不但为了人的需要，业为了人的享受和使人快乐

    • 新教基于加尔文主义的看法， 既强调努力工作是一个人的使命，世俗的成功可以作为个人超度的一个标志

    • 人要充满信仰充满爱

      • self identity
      • 如果没有对生活的控制感， 所以才需要对别人的控制来满足自己的存在感
      • 解构主义下的泡沫； 人要么充满信仰充满爱，要么就虚无主义疯狂寻找爱的替代品

  • SELF

    • 调整好自己的情绪和心态， 去面对自己觉得的事

      • 大方，自信， 温柔，热情

    • 讲道理 + 精于算计

    • 先去做，在过程中体会这件事的成和败

      • 才能积累大量的点点滴滴，才能让心智成熟
      • 不要太以结果导向， 这样在每一件事情上都会举步不前
        • 当判断结果可以成功，就向前； 当判断结果不可以成功，就放弃

    • 也擅长阅人和与人交往

  • LOVE/FAMILIES

    • 妥协 在婚姻中怎么强调都不过

      • 问自己 “我是否愿意为他们妥协，找到那个中间点？”

      • 我们一起深入分析， 这些对话合乎事实吗， 还是带着情绪的气话？

      • 伴侣要能携手度过难关， “拥有相似的价值观很重要，甚至比性格特征相似更重要”

  • BUSINESS

    • 自上而下的目标定位和自下而上的改进

    • 投资角度

      • 进入项目之前先考虑该项目如何退出
      • 做风险投资必须先知道最差情况下限在哪里

    • When your boss blocks your career growth

      • Identify what's important to you

        • money? a higher lever? reputation?
        • doc your accomplishments and keep your direct supervisor updated when you hit a milestone
          • paper trails serve as evidence that you can use to back up your argument

      • have an open and honest conversation with your boss

        • meet with your supervisor to share your progress and get feedback to make sure you're on the same page
          • doc your discussions by following up with your manager in an email after each meeting, outlining what was agreed upon
          • track your success - including any hard data that show how your work has contributed to the goals set
          • use the time to restate your desire with evidence to support your case
            • mention your most impactful work and how it has contributed to the goals
          • ask them to be specific about their expectations, what success looks like
            • how they're willing to track, measure, and support your goals

      • seek advice from trusted advisors, including a mentor, sponsor, or ally

        • those people can provide you with an objective, outside perspective
          • they can check you, help u identify any counter arguments you may need to address
          • meet with mentors and sponsors regularly to make sure they're aware of your work

      • develop an exit strategy and know when to execute it

        • an exit strategy is a plan or a roadmap for leaving your current situation and entering into your next chapter
          • researching the jobs, analyse the gaps
          • detail a development plan
          • use your network to find referrals and put your resume

  • SKILLS

    • 一旦感觉到这个人不真诚，对你有所隐瞒，你就可以停止付出和示好了， 一定不要舍不得和放不下

    • 料人如神

      • 贾诩的聪明，明就明在他洞悉人性，总能看透对方的心思

      • 琢磨计谋是没有用的，你还是琢磨人性吧

      • 扬人责己， 凝聚了一个又一个勇将和谋臣

        • 为了败仗检讨自己，为了胜仗感谢别人，而且感谢那些劝他不要打一仗的人，胸襟和情怀

      • 天下的争夺，归根结底是人心的争夺

        • 要争取人心，就必须有一个宽容大量的气度和一个既往不咎的政策； 哪怕是装，也要装得像回事。 这就需要一个榜样

        • 但凡有志于王霸之业者，一定不会斤斤计较个人恩怨，反倒会拿我们做个榜样

  • MEETUP

    • hiking <-