Notes on '完整的自己' When Love meets Fears The fearlessness comes when you make a commitment to be who you fully are Fear represents what we have not yet integrated When you crossed the threshold into this other world, you met the shadow, both positive and negative. Is it because we are not ready to embark on a journey to new consciousness? fear is a signal that tells you to equip yourself to handle this love is that which integrates everything Love bursts out of aliveness; fear suppresses the aliveness your love is unconditional but your choices are conditioned by your adult boundaries Integrating Your Fear admit that you are afraid feel your fear what I feel is not who i am, so I am not my fear. But it is what is happening in me right now so I allow it to have its full career. act as if fear can't stop or drive you I do what I am fearing anyway I make the choices I would make if I did not feel the fear. At this moment of deciding between feeling and acting, you will feel the shift, a surge of power, to take that final step You are no longer the victim because you have combined vulnerability - "I might fail" - with power - "I am doing it" This shift makes you trust youself and enriches your self-respect the art of loving The practice of Love the ability to love to concentrate means to be able to be alone with oneself, and this abilability is precisely a condition for the ability to love If I am attached to another person because I cannot stand on my own feet, he or she may be a lifesaver, but the relationship is not one of love overcoming of one's narcissism see people and things as they are objectively, and to be able to separate this objective picture from a picture which is formed by one's desires and fears love required the development of humility, objectivity and reason rational faith is an independent conviction based on one's own experience, in the confidence in one's power of thought, obeservation, and judgment, in spite of the majority's opinion irrational faith is based on one's submission to irrational authority his basic motivations love faith in the potentialities to live productively require courage, to take a risk, to accept pain and disappointment Love and its disintegration in contemporary western society political freedom on the one hand, and the market as the regulator of all economic, hence social relations, on the other Modern man has transformed himself into a commodity Make God a partner in business, rather than to become one with him in love, justice and truth; brotherly love has been replaced by impersonal fairness the essence of love is seen in a situation of collaboration permits validation of all components of personal worth validation of personal worth requires a type of relationship which I call collaboration, by which clearly formulated adjustments of one's behavior to the expressed needs of the other person in pursuit of increasingly identical - that is, more and more nearly mutual satisfactions, and in the maintenance of increasingly similar security operations want mother's unconditional love aim to be loved, not to love sentimental love he lives in the past or in the future, but not in the present the presence of love the depth of the relationship, and the aliveness and strength in each person concerned LOVE is an attitude brotherly love - compassion Motherly love it's good to be alive <- care and affirmation of existence God creates the world, and man the love for life and the happiness in being alive Mother's love for life is as infectious as her anxiety is erotic love I love from the essence of my being - and experience the other person in the essence of his or her being To love somebody is not just a strong feeling - it is a promise self-love if you love yourself, you love everybody else as you do yourself Love of God the love for God cannot be separated from the love for one's parents God was experienced as an all-protective mother( or clan, nation), or a punishing-rewarding father (authority - overt authority or public opinion),to a mature stage where God ceases to be an outside power; where man has incorporated the principles of love and justice into himself, where he has become one with God, and eventually, to a point where he speaks of God only in a poetic, symbolic sense. In western religious system, the love of God is essentially the same as the belief in God, in God's existence, God's justice, God's love. The love of God is essentially a thought experience. In the Eastern religions, the love of God is an intense feeling experience of oneness, inseparably linked with the expression of this love in every act of living. Love between parent and child motherly love is unconditional "I am loved because I am" <- Infantile love mature love -> "I am because I love" By loving, he leaves the prison of aloneness and isolation which was constituted by the state of narcissism and self-centeredness. He feels a sense of new union, of sharing, of oneness. More than that, he feels the potency of producing love by loving To give has become more satisfactory, more joyous, than to receive; to love, more important even than being loved. Mother has the function of making him secure in life fatherly love "I love you because you fulfill my expectations, because you do your duty, because you are like me" awareness of his separateness => anxiety (shame, guilty) orgiastic states (drug, sex, alcohol, etc.) the union with group threats and terror suggestion and propaganda conformity pattern work and pleasure routine creative activity Love -> interpersonal union symbiotic union -> fusion without integrity mature love in union -> preserve one's individuality 薩提爾的自我覺察練習 前言 “領導人教練”等助人的工作 自我成長工作坊 學習感性的能力，進一步體會自我覺察的重要 人們收到各種問題困擾，這些困擾的產生一定有其前因後果，只是當事人自己並不知道 提升自我覺察的能力 - 情緒不敏感 學習捕捉自己的情緒，並將之表達出來； 也嘗試開放自己，與老師同學們分享更多以前不習慣和他人分享的渴望與脆弱點，並得到他們的回饋， 經由這樣的做法提升自我覺察的能力 鏡子 以情緒為入口，更深入地認識諮商及教練工作， 並且更有效地幫助他們改變 自我覺察 認識自己有哪些慣性，以及這些慣性對我們產生哪些好的不好的影響 了解我們的慣性是如何養成的 要如何改變，才能不受慣性束縛，讓我們的潛力與影響力發揮出來 去除盲點，自然而然能夠發揮影響力 行為模式 - 人生舞台 是由 “自己，他人，情境” 組成 討好型 偏重 “他人“ 與 “情境” 而忽略了 “自己” 只習慣付出，而不敢要求，不輕易表達自己的需要及情緒； 別人也就會忽略或完全不了解他們的需求及情緒 學會要求他人，讓別人承擔起屬於他們的責任； 多看重及表達自己的需要； 學習有話直說，避免總是因為怕傷害他人而拐彎抹角，讓他人弄不清楚他想說什麼； 學習說“不”，避免扛起不屬於自己的責任 指責型 偏重 “自己” 與 “情境” 而忽略了 “他人” 學會聆聽他人， 檢討自己 理智型 偏重 “情境” 而忽略了“自己” 與 “他人” 習慣用邏輯說服別人， 要求自己做到喜怒不形於色，經常壓抑情緒； 極力做到公平，守規則； 講究事證及數據； 現實環境中， 常混雜許多人情世故； 也缺乏親和力，比較難和別人建立親密關係 接受人兼具理性與感性， 並要學會感性溝通的方法 提升對情緒的敏感度，除了要能夠解讀他人情緒外，也能適當地表達自己的情緒， 才能“動之以情”的方法影響人。 其次， 學會適時地跳脫規則或框架，發揮創意，解決問題。 打岔型 常轉移話題的方式來逃避問題 習慣拖延逃避，才讓問題越來越嚴重； 從一些小目標開始，逐步學會面對問題 內在冰山 情緒 喜 怒 哀 懼 觀點 對事物的看法，理解及詮釋 最深的觀點 可以稱為“價值觀” 或 “信念” 渴望 - 動機 被愛，愛人 被尊重 - 價值感 - 被信服 名利地位 被接納 - 歸屬感 - 被喜歡 屬於一個團體，而這些團體裡的成員互相包容，互相支持時，我被接納的渴望就被滿足 有自由 有意義 超乎個人需要 期待 - 滿足渴望的具體方法 想滿足這些渴望，就必須先給予一個具體的定義 劇本 行為 情緒 觀點 想法 假設 信念 渴望 期待 行為模式 情绪管理 觉察情绪 情绪 “与哥哥吵完架后， 现在有什么感觉？” 观点 “担心的原因是什么？” 期待 “当你有了这样的‘情绪’ 和‘观点’， 接下来你会想要做什么？” 渴望 - 动机 “你这样做想满足的渴望是什么？ 请从'爱人，被爱，被尊重，被接纳，有自由，有意义' 中选择” 面对情绪 情绪视为一个能帮助我们找到方向的信使 情绪会指引我们如何面对这些消息，进而采取对我们有利的行动 对情绪命名 将“我这个人” 和 “我的情绪” 分开 我或许“不喜欢这个情绪”， 但这并不等于我“不喜欢我这个人” 接受情绪 情绪告诉你为何有此情绪 - 情绪背后的观点 将“我这个人” 和 “我的情绪” 分开 "我之所以会有这个情绪，是因为 ..." 也告诉你接下来该做些什么 - 情绪背后的期待 "接下来我会想做些什么 ..." 处理情绪 加入理性思考 - 利弊得失加入考量后，才决定要采取什么行动 评估你的情绪背后的观点是否有所根据 评估你的情绪背后的期待是否务实可行 你收到了情绪想要传达的讯息，但是又不让情绪来掌控你，而是你掌控情绪，做出最能够解决问题的理性选择 放下情绪 欢喜做 这是我经过充分的觉察自己的各种观点与期待之后所做出的选择， 而不是没有经过选择的反射式反应 甘愿受 既然这是我的选择，所以不管结果如何，我都会承担起责任 情绪系统 想要避免没有处理好情绪所带来的后果 每种情绪都对我们有帮助 喜 期待得到满足 指引 - 享受，分享，再努力 怒 被攻击/侵犯， 期待落空时 防卫，攻击，指责，要求 哀 失落，无能为力 疗伤，预防，求助 惧 碰到危险或未知的状况时 逃离 后天学习和环境 影响我们对 情绪的应对 处理情绪只能疏导， 不能围堵 转化情绪模式 - 面对，接受，处理情绪 对情绪的敏感度， 觉察自己的内在冰山 当 ... (情境)的时候， 我感觉 ... （情绪）， （因为） 我认为 ... (观点)， 我希望 ... (期待) 平衡 感性 和 理性 由情绪出发，然后加入理性考量才做出最后的反应 情绪是与生俱来的， 而观点则是后天学习而来的， 也就是观点是‘社会’要我们遵守的规则（观点） 忽律了感性的指引，也就是忽略了自己的需求 感性 - 反射式 - reactive 只跟随自己的情绪走，而忽略了社会化的规则 理性 - 机械式反应 - robotic 一味遵从权威人士所定的规则， 而忽略了自己的情绪想告诉你的讯息 表达自己的情绪时， 还要能兼顾 “自己”， “他人”， “情境” 三要素， 才能一更具“一致性” 当我看到你的报告时 （事件）， 我感觉很失望 （情绪）， 因为我认为这不是你平常的水准（观点）， 我希望你重做这个报告（期待） ch7 转化情绪模式 - 练习放下情绪 一致性 在于一个人所展现的行为， 是否为 有觉察，有意识下的作为 一致性并不代表永远说真话 如果经过充分的觉察，考量怎么做会对自己好，对他人好，也有助于达成你想要的目标， 然后有意识地做出“像似” 讨好，指责，超理智，打岔的反应，也是一致性 转化 观点， 渴望与期待 核心观点 - 重大而深远影响成功或失败 努力就有回報 上康杰， 上武大 自主 - 要靠自己 asb 上海 的经历 人大都是自私的 不要像父亲一样 只做个好人，只想被尊重 人要保护自己和家人 爱人 - 家庭 爱的语言 付出，照料，关切他人或帮助他人 逃避， 不愿意面对 理性 - 工作上 理性优越感 <- 社会 对事不对人， 解释 容易忽略了人的部分 公平公正 把工作方式 应用到别的地方 - 关系上 家不是讲道理的地方 被接纳 - 朋友 讨好 外来者； 在不同地方上学，工作 太为对方考虑， 尤其是对方不如自己的时候 自己想融入，但 别人不太接受自己 把弱 当成了善良 哀伤 <- 愤怒 不公平 自我责备 爱人与被爱的渴望没被满足 在一个团体中，如果能感受到被接纳的温暖 转化期待模式 忽略了期待会因人而异的事实 “爱与被爱”的务实期待 ‘爱的语言’不同而产生的盲点 words of affirmation - 称赞，鼓励，表扬和甜言蜜语表达爱意 acts of services 服务的行动 - 为对方做事来表达关爱， 比如帮忙做家务等 receiving gifts 收到礼物 - 通过送礼物表达心意，重在心意和关怀 quality time 贴心时刻 - 专注陪伴，花时间与对方一起做喜欢的事情 physical touch 身体接触 - 通过肢体接触入拥抱，牵手等方式传递爱意 太太只是需要有人好好倾听，还没有想要解决问题 激情 物理上的吸引力 比如美貌，身材，浪漫行为等 亲密感 双方是否能够分享自己的“脆弱点” - 自认为不够好，又很不希望别人知道的特质 不够聪明，不够美，身材不够好，不善交际，不想努力等 开始与他人分享自己的脆弱点，分享代表接纳自己的不完美，同时宣示自己想要开始改善 承诺感 碰到重大分歧时，双方愿意继续沟通知道达成共识为止 从自己做起，主动分享自己的脆弱点，并在产生分歧时，坚持继续沟通到有共识为止 ‘尊重“的务实期待 以自己所建立的标准为主，而以别人所建立的标准为辅，来衡量自己的价值 ’被接纳‘的务实期待 接纳自己的前提下， 再致力于得到他人的接纳 认识自己的特质，并明确订立个人目标 （就没有被勉强的感觉），有意识地采取行动， 而非只是一味地期待自己成为团体中的楷模那样的人 认清自己的人格特质； 知道自己受到哪些社会文化的影响； 明确订出自己的人生目标； 然后找到平衡点 从事勉强自己的事务后，给自己找到一个喘息复原的空间 ’自由‘的务实期待 ”先改变自己，再改变他人/环境“的心态 很多人要求他人给予自由，而自己却不愿意为了得到自由而付出承担责任的代价 ’意义‘的务实期待 所谓功成名就才能帮助他人，是不切实际的期待 认识并活出自己的独特性 了解你的独特性 - 内向型， 能量来自于探索事情的内在本质 Hear and Mind balance Finding peace from mind the moments of greatest pleasure that voice in your head goes silent, it calms down our mind evolved to be paranoid, fearful and angry natural is brutal. We did it through fear, violence and cooperation our evolved nature rewards pessimism modern society's a lot safer and more peaceful Mind is great at learning and solving problems Heart talks to US through joy & LOVE Heart loves YOU exactly the way you are. It doesn't matter if you trip and fall on your shoelaces or burn the banana bread. Heart is great at being in the HERE and NOW Heart can tell Mind that it will love without any judgment If heart feels the spark to dance, but Mind thinks that it will look silly since it is not a REAL dancer Mind will hold Heart's hand and take one step in any direction until they know what Heart wants Heart Enjoy where you are right now. Because right now is your greatest gift. That's why we call it The present Practice listening to your heart and use your mind to take action close your eyes, and take some deep breaths Let thoughts and mental pictures pass by; Allow yourself to relax ask your heart, "What do U want to do right now?" Ideas from your heart can come through as words, images, feelings, or a joyful burst of action Wait and listen for a response Use your mind to take action Awareness is a tool we use to understand Mind and Heart It's like a light that helps us see what is real Breathing helps Mind to stop worrying about yesterday or tomorrow and instead, be in the HERE and NOW "It's okay. Mind. I'm always here loving you even when you are feeling sad or afraid." How to reliease a stormy ycloud close your eyes and breathe in and breathe out bring your attention to your body what does it feel like? Mad? Sad? Hurt? Focus your awareness and keep breathing Keep going until the cloud has floated away Mind knows that if the clouds come back, Heart and Awareness are always by its side The heavy thoughts and feelings like clouds that come and go and sometimes block the sun Being or thinking? When you're feeling sth, bring in your awareness to check out where the feeling is coming from Being -> Feeling -> Intuitive Sparks -> Inspired Action - Heart Breathe in and breathe out; Close your eyes and clear you mind. You'll start to sense an energy within you and around you. It feels elevating, expansive, and really nice. This sensation is not there due to a thought in the mind. When you have cleared your awareness from the mind, you are simply being. And in this simplicity of being, you find a deep sense of peace. And in this deep sense of peace, you will start to sense greater sensations of joy, love, and freedom. And here lies the heart. Where, regardless of the 'situation' you're in now, you still feel great. But, the feeling didn't come from a thought. The feeling came from being. Thinking -> Feeling - Mind The feeling is a direct result of the mind thinking. And the feeling from the thoughts continue to lead to more thoughts that match the level of the feeling. reference Joy Parade Feelings from the Heart or Mind [A Friendship Story: Heart & Mind — Balance Your Child's Sparks of Joy & Logical Practicalities] [Heart & Mind: Meet A New Friend — Help Your Child Release Heavy Emotions & Live In Joy] Soul vs Ego The ego lives in fear and the soul lives in love the ego is a person's sense of self-importance; it is your social mask; your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear. our ego was 'created' to keep us safe. It is a shield that protects our true emotions we need to do this because of a lack of trust how is big ego different from confidence, and loving ourselves? whether our soul is present or not when someone's ego is too big, we categorise them as being selfish and solely focused on themselves. impossible for both the ego and the soul to be working at the same time each and everything we do feeds one of them it is up to us to recognize which one is present and when in each decision you make, ask yourself is this my ego or my soul talking 这个决定是被爱，激情或其他正能量的东西驱动，还是被恐惧所驱动 when we can recognize the difference - fear or love - and step outside of our ego, we can welcome the soul in people who seek revenge, or do sth simply for spite, are overcome by their ego spiritual and personal development is often to quiet the ego and cultivate a stronger connection with the soul this involves recognizing the ego's patterns, understanding its motivations, and learning to discern its voice from the soul's gentle guidance some people find that breathwork, meditation, or prayer helps them to center themselves and clear their minds so they can hear the soft whisperings of their souls. others find journaling or spending time in nature helps tham to connect with their inner guidance. Soul a deeper, true self connected to love, peace, and compassion guide us towards authenticity, purpose, and inner fulfilment through intuition, gut feelings, and gentle nudges on being present, accepting, and finding joy in the journey Ego self-identity, built on a collection of beliefs, experiences, and self-perceptions driven by fear, insecurity, and a desire for external validation seek to protect itself, maintain control, and achieve a sense of worth through external means through self-doubt, negative self-talk, and a focus on what's lacking on the past, the future, and accumulating external achievements The Untethered Soul ch1 To be aware that you are watching the mind talks You use it as a protection mechanism, a form of defense making you feel more secure. As long as that's what you want, you will be forced to constantly use your mind to buffer yourself from life, instead of living it. Come to know the one who watches the voice ch2 There's a separation between you and the anger of the jealousy The first is you, the awareness, the witness, the center of your willful intentions The other is that which you watch Just be aware of it sit inside yourself for a while in complete solitude and silence you're so close that you don't realize that you're actually hypnotized into listening to the voice if you could get rid of the voice, the peace and serenity would be the nicest vacation you're ever had you'll never be free of problems until you are free from the part within that has so many problems "What part of me is being disturbed by this?"; "What part of me is jealous?" "who notices this inner disturbance?" To attain true inner freedom, you must be able to objectively watch your problems instead of being lost in them No solution can possibly exist while you're lost in the energy of a problem go inside and let go of the part of you that seems to have so many problems with reality Once you do that, you'll be clear enough to deal with what's left Commit yourself to the inner work of freedom your life is not your own; it belongs to your inner roommate, the psyche. You have to take it back distance yourself from your voice, psyche This is Your life Stand firm in the seat of the witness and release the hold that the habitual mind has on you Your will is stronger than the habit of listening to that voice. There is nothing you can't do. Your will is supreme over all of this. Yoga ch3 Who are You I am the one who sees. I look out, and I am aware of the events, thoughts, and emotions that pass before me When you just look without creating thoughts, your consciousness is effortlessly aware of, and fully comprehends, all that it sees the is your soul/self - awareness, consciousness, and intuitive sense of existence You are behind everything, Just watching You sit far enough back inside to see all your thoughts and emotions , as well as outer form All of these objects are in front of you . The thoughts are closer in, the emotions are a little further away, and form is way out there. Behind it all, there you are. You live in the seat of consciousness From the seat, you are aware that there are thoughts, emotions, and a world coming in through your senses ch4 meditation you must not only have the ability to focus your consciousness completely on one object, you must also have the ability to make awareness itself be that object You just happen to be watching one The world is just something you're watching The more you are willing to just let the world be sth you're aware of, the more it will let you be who you are - the Soul, the Self Instead of just focusing on intently on this one human being's thoughts, emotions, and sensory world, you can pull back and see everything. You can move from the finite to the infinite. this is what Christ, buddha try to tell us. ch5 you don't feel this energy when you close your heart or close your mind Spiritual energy - Spirit - is what you're experiencing when love rushes up into your heart this flow of energy comes from the depth of your being we are programmed based on our past impressions such that all kinds of things can cause us to open and close Embrace life with all your heart and soul No matter what it is, it's beautiful when you feel that way inside Train yourself to open every time Honor and respect the situation. Deal with it with openness "No. I'm not going to close. I'm going to relax. I'm going to let this situation take place and be there with it." Enjoy all of life. Dare to be different As long as you are defining what you like and what you don't like, you will open and close. You are actually defining your limits You become a source of light for all those around you people can pick up on your energy, and you're feeding them with this flow if you love life, nothing is worth closing over ch6 You are the experiencer of your spiritual heart You feel the heart's energy all the time what it is like to feel love in your heart what it is like to feel inspiration and enthusiasm pour from your heart what it is like to feel energy well up in your heart making you confident and strong All of the different things happen because the heart goes through changes we fall in love if the heart opens; the love stops if the heart closes if the heart happens to hurt, we get angry if we stop feeling it altogether, we get empty All the inner noise is just your attempt to process the blocked energy and get it out of the way It is truly amazing to step back and look at this process As you willfully struggle to keep these events from passing through your consciousness, the energy first tries to release by manifesting through the mind. it then tries to release through the heart. That is what creates all the emotional activity. When you resist even that release, the energy gets packed up and forced into deep storage within the heart. you are wasting precious energy by blocking the flow through resisting and clinging those that cause either problems or some sense of enjoyment Enjoy life instead of clinging to it or pushing it away If you can live like this, each moment will change you. If you are willing to experience the gift of life instead of fighting with it, you will be moved to the depth of your being. when you reach this state, you will begin to see the secrets of the heart. The heart is the place through which energy flows to sustain you. This energy inspires you and raises you. Just open, relax your heart, forgive, smile, or do anything you want Just don't push it back down be willing to let it go when it gets stimulated. It only hurts for a minute and then it's over when that light blue Mustang drives by and you feel fear or jealousy, just smile. Be happy that this Samskara, which has been stored down there for all this time, has the opportunity to make it through you. Simply allow the experiences of life to come in and pass through your being Be centered enough to just watch this stuff come up. Just let it all happen. Don't process them. stop fighting it, they'll come up constantl yand pass right through you Your reward is a permanently open heart You live in love, and it feeds you and strengthens you; Allow yourself to experience every note the heart can play. ch7 You are protecting your ego, your self-concept close down the centers to avoid being too sensitive to the different energies coming in and causing fear If you close and protect yourself, insecure person within your heart. You will never grow Living like this allows for very little spontaneous joy, enthusiasm, and excitement for life No matter how much pain the exposure creates, you are willing to pay that price for freedom How often do U find yourself trying to protect and defend that weak part of you? You start by watching life and noticing the constant flow of people and situations that hit your stuff every day The reward for not protecting your psyche is liberation You are free to walk through this world without a problem on your mind. you are just having fun experiencing whatever happens next. Because you got rid of that scared part of you, you don't ever have to worry about getting hurt. You just go about your business and put your whole being into whatever's happening, instead of putting your whole being into your personal sensitivity. Your growth takes place onece you've made the commitment to free yourself of that scared person inside You notice a emotion or thought emerges, relax behind it. Don't judge it, don't try to change it. if you use your inner willpower to not go with it, and just remain seated within. you decide to use life to free yourself. You become willing to pay any price for the freedom of your soul A wise person remains centered enough to let go every time the energy shifts into a defensive mode. The moment the energy moves and you feel your consciousness start to get drawn into it, you relax and release. Falling behind the energy instead of going into it. It just takes a moment of conscious effort to decide that you're not going there. You just let go. It doesn't matter what others do, unless you decide that it matters to you. Only you can take inner freedom away from yourself or give it to yourself. Learn to let go no matter how deep the pain, you will achieve a great state. ch8 Fear is the cause of every problem The purpose of spiritual evolution is to remove the blockages that cause your fear You simply perit the pain to come up into your heart and pass through If you want to be free to the core of your being, you must let go immediately you notice that sth in your heart gets hit If you let go and stay in the seat of awareness, what you are noticing will pass You could have taken one breath and ** let go when it started** or as your consciousness gets immersed in the disturbance, you lose your clear seat of Self Open your heart, and let it go as you're aware that you didn't Do not rationalize, blame, or try to figure it out. Don't do anything, Just let go immediately, and allow the energy to go back to the highest center of consciousness it can achieve. If you feel shame, let it go. If you feel fear, let it go. ch9 Do not doubt your ability to remove the root cause of the disturbance inside of you Donot Let the fear of their inner thorns affect the behavior You can look deep within yourself, to the core of your being, and decide that you don't want the weakest part of you running your life You wanna talk to people because you find them interesting, not because you're lonely you wanna have relationships with people because you genuinely like them, not because you need for them to like you you wanna love because you truly love, not because you need to avoid your inner problem you free yourself by finding yourself Stop playing with them. If you want, you can simply permit the disturbances to come up, and you can let them go What you can do is notice that you notices. You notice it is watching your inner melodrama. Notice who it is that feels the loneliness. The one who notices is already free. If you maintain your center, you can learn to appreciate and respect even the difficult experiences See it feel jealousy, need, and fear; They are just sth you're feeling and experiencing. You are the indwelling being that is aware of all of this Be an explorer. Witness it, and then it will go Notice and just watch how experiencing loneliness affects you. Does your posture change? Do you breathe slower or faster? What goes on when loneliness is given the space it needs to pass through you? If you don't get absorbed in it, the experience will soon pass and sth else will come up. Just enjoy all of it. If you can do this, you will be free, and a world of pure energy will open up within you. Experience if you hang out with the SELF instead of hanging out with inner disturbances Sit comfortably deep inside the seat of awareness, you will start to feel this flow of energy coming up from deep within You don't have to get rid of loneliness; you just cease to be involved with it. Awareness does not fight; awareness releases. Awareness is simply aware while everything in the universe parades before it It's ok to feel inner disturbances, and that they can no longer disturb your seat of consciousness, you will be free ch10 you don't feel whole and complete within yourself - fear you will hide behind finances, people, fame, and adoration Just stop for a moment and see what you have given your mind to do The mind is constantly trying to give you advice about how to make it all okay You mind is simply a computer It can be used to ponder great thoughts, solve scientific problems, and serve humanity. But you are the one who is trying to use the analytical mind to protect yourself from the natural unfolding of life stop expecting the mind to protect yourself from the natural unfolding of life U can live a life completely free from the fears of the psyche Just watch the mind talk, and keep relaxing and releasing. Fall behind the noise. You, the one inside watching the neurotic mind, just relax; You are not the thinking mind; you are aware of the thinking mind. The minute you stop putting your whole heart and soul into the mind as if it were your savior and protector, you will find yourself behing the mind watching it begin this journey to freedom by regularly reminding yourself to watch the psyche relax your shoulders, relax your heart, and stop putting energy into your psyche some triggers in everyday life that help U remember who you are and what's going on inside Every change in your energy flow, whether it's agitation of the mind or shifts in the heart, will be what eminds you that you are back there noticing remind you to remain centered. Eventually it will become quiet enough so that you can simply watch the heart begin to react, and let go before the mind starts. At some point in the journey it all becomes heart, not mind. You will see that the mind follows the heart. The heart reacts way before the mind starts talking When you are conscious, the shifts of energy in your heart cause you to instantaneously be aware that you are back there noticing. The mind doesn't even get a chance to start up because you let go at the heart level ch11 - pain, the price of freedom You will come to see that any behavior pattern based on the avoidance of pain decide that you don't want to spend your entire life avoiding the inner pain; you'd rather get rid of it you can simply live your life and experience what it's like to be on a planet that is spinning around in the middle of nowhere, until you die You can feel the effects of 'close' as the sensation of contracting within your heart Somebody says sth displeasing, and you feel some disturbance in your heart. Then your mind starts talking: "I don't have to put up with this. I'll just walk away and never talk to them again. They'll be sorry." Your heart is attempting to pull back from what it's experiencing and protect itself so that it doesn't have to experience that feeling again You do this because you cann't handle the pain you're feeling. As long as you can't handle the pain,you will react by closing in order to protect yourself. Once you close, your mind will build an entire psychological structure around your closed energy. Your thoughts will try to rationalize why you're right and what you should do about it. When you feel pain, simply view it as energy At any moment you can feel frustration, anger, fear, jealousy, insecurity, or embarrassment. If you watch, you will see that the heart is trying to push it all away. If you want to be free, you have to learn to stop fighting these human feelings. First accept that there is pain in your heart. Just accept that it is in there and that you are going to feel it. Accept that if you relax, it will have its moment before your awareness, and then it will pass. Pain is the price of freedom As you relax into the energy of the pain, you may feel tremendous heat in your heart. That is the pain being purified from your heart. Learn to enjoy that burning because it is freeing you. And the moment you are willing to pay that price, you will no longer be afraid. When you are comfortable with pain passing through you, you will be free The worst the world can do is to hit the pain stored within you. If you do not care, if you are no longer afraid of yourself, you are free. You will then be able to walk through this world more vibrant and alive than ever before. You will feel everything at a deeper level. ch12 - taking down the walls Your house is made of your thoughts and emotions. The walls are made of your psyche You have built a self-concept you must go past these walls activate these old feelings of fear, and you decide to walk right toward it It shakes you to the core of your being because it challenges the house of thougths in which you are dwelling. To fix this, you start in with your rationalizations Focus on the walls of your own making that are blocking the light ch13 - far, far beyond go beyond your model There's a reason for everything you do They are the outermost layer of cause. If you can sit through these urges, you will see what caused them. If you can get comfortable with what you see, you will face the next layer of causation, and so on, layer upon layer. See what happens to the energies inside of you when you don't do the things that make you comfortable what you'll see is why you're doing them if the moment is outside your expectations, your mind starts talking free yourself from the limits of your model If you don't stay within them, you get scared, you feel hurt, and you feel threatened. That's your cage It can be a cage created by your fear of discomfort. If you approach your limits, you begin to feel uncomfortable and insecure. It is free to experience all of life This can only happen when you are willing to face reality without mental boundaries When you approach the edges you feel insecurity, jealousy, fear, or self-consciousness You simply interact with the day with a peaceful, fully inspired heart If your edges happen to get hit, the mind doesn't complain. It all just passes through. This is how great beings live. ch14 - letting go of false solidity Your sense of self is determined by where you are focusing your consciousness You are not your body; you look at you body in the mirror and experience this world through its eyes and ears you shift from concentrating on your body and its surroundings to concentrating on the world of the movie you literally define yourself based on what you believe we are all clinging and then building Just watch the fear without protecting yourself from it It was created by building a mental and emotional structure to get away from that sense of fear. The events that happen in the moment belong to the moment. They have nothing to do with you. You must stop defining yourself in relationship to them, and just let them come and go. If you find yourself thinking about them later on, just let go. If an event happens that doesn't fit your conceptual model, and you see yourself struggling and rationalizing to make it fit, just notice what you're doing. learn to be comfortable with psychological disturbance why should anything that anyone says or does cause you to get disturbed? you're just on a planet spinning around the middle of absolutely nowhere. You came here to visit for a handful of years and then you're going to leave. How can U live all stressed-out over everything? Don't do it. If anything can cause disturbance inside of you, it means it hit your model. It means it hit the false part of you that you built in order to control your own definition of reality. You must be willing to face this pain Just see if you can relax behind it. and ask, "who am I that notices this?" You can experience a life in which waves of love can rush up inside of you any time you want. you do that by letting go of the tendency to cling. ch15 - the path of unconditional happiness Do U wanna be happy regardless of what happens? The purpose of your life is to enjoy and learn from your experiences. You were not put on Earth to suffer. You're not helping anybody by being miserable. Regardless of your philosophical beliefs, the fact remains that you were born and you are going to die. Duiring the time in between, you get to choose whether or not you want to enjoy the experience. Events don't determine whether or not you're going to be happy. They're just events. You determine whether or not you're going to be happy. You can be happy just to be alive. You can be happy having all these things happen to you, and then be happy to die. Enjoying life's experiences is the only rational thing to do If you wanna happy, you have to let go of the part of you that wants to create melodrama You're going to die anyway. Things are going to happen anyway. You gain nothing by being bothered by life's events. It doesn't change the world; you just suffer. No matter what happens, just enjoy the life that comes to you Committing yourself to unconditional happiness will teach you every single thing there is to learn about yourself, about others, and about the nature of life. You will learn all about your mind, your heart, and your will. Begin by understanding your inner energies If you look inside, you will see that when you're happy, your heart feels open and the energy rushes up inside of you You should examing what it is inside of you that believes there's some benefit to closing. The slightest thing happens to you, and you give away your happiness What good came from letting it ruin your day? There was no benefit. If somebody cuts you off, let go and stay open. If you really want to, you can. The key is to learn to keep your mind disciplined enough so that it doesn't trick you into thinking that this time it's worth closing Just pick yourself up and affirm inwardly that you don't wanna close, no matter what happens. Affirm that all you want is to be at peace and to appreciate life. You mind will tell you that it's not reasonable to stay open when these things happen. But you have limited time left in your life, and what's really not reasonable is to not enjoy life. Meditation strengthens your center of consciousness so that you're always aware enough to not allow your heart to close you just relax your heart when it starts to tighten. you don't have to be outwardly glowing all the time; you're just joyful inside. close your eyes and breathe in and breathe out Let thoughts and mental pictures pass by; Allow yourself to relax ask your heart, "What do U want to do right now?" Ideas from your heart can come through as words, images, feelings, or a joyful burst of action Wait and listen for a response bring your attention to your body what does it feel like? Mad? Sad? Hurt? Focus your awareness and keep breathing Keep going until the cloud has floated away You're letting go of yourself so that you can remain happy A person who actually does this every moment of every day is going to notice the cleansing of their heart. This is because they're not getting involved in the stuff that comes up. They're also going to notice the purification of their mind because they are not getting involved in the mind's melodrama You will let go no matter what, then the veils of the human mind and heart will fall away. ch16 - the spiritual path of nonresistance learn to live life without stress, problems, fear, or melodrama This path of using life to evolve spiritually is truly the highest path Stress only happens when you resist life's events the willpower can stop the energy transfer, and that's what creates tension What we're really resisting is the experience of the event passing though us. We don't want it affecting us inside. We know it is going to make mental and emotional impressions that will not fit with what's already in there. So we assert the force of will against the influence of the event in an attempt to stop it from passing through our hearts and minds You are sitting inside resisting impressions from the past or thoughts about the future. You are actually struggling with yourself, not with the event. Use life to let go of these past impressions and the stress they create Based on these past impressions, you are resisting the current events that are taking place. This creates inner tension, turmoil, struggle, and suffering Carefully watch the mental voice that tells you to resist sth Acceptance that events can make it through you without resistance You just deal with them as events that are taking place on the planet Earth, and not as personal problems They're just events. Your resistance to them is what causes the problem If your awareness was free to focus only on the events actually taking place. You would have no noise going on inside. Your capabilities would be exponential compared to what you've ever experienced. If you're not trying to make people fit into your like or dislike, you will find that relationships are not really that difficult. If you're not so busy judging and resisting people based on what is blocked inside of you, you will find that they are much easier to get along with - and so are you. ch17 - contemplating death Any time you're having trouble with sth, think of death the breath may not come back in, then I wanna live at the highest level while i'm alive Since you know you're going to die, be willing to say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done Using every day to let go of that scared part of you that won't let you live life fully be willing to be fully present without being afraid of what will happen in the next moment If you live life fully, you won't have any last wishes There is no reason to be afraid of life the only thing there is to get from life is the growth that comes from experiencing it What is inside of us that is so afraid that it keeps us from just enjoying life? it is death that makes life precious Every experience is worth having. Life is not sth to waste. take each moment of your life and realize that what matters is to live it fully. If you are living every experience fully, then death doesn't take anything from you. There's nothing to take because you're already fulfilled. what you need is more depth of experience during the time you're given live each moment of your life You let it touch you to the depths of your being. You let it fill you completely. experiencing the life that's happening to you appreciate the moments you are given ch18 - the secret of the middle way The Tao is in the middle You don't follow the extremes ch19 - the loving eyes of god You spirit drifts upward You feel that there's more of a distance between you and the thoughts and emotions inside of you. You drift back You're no longer held down to your earthly self, so you begin to feel more spaciousness inside They don't seem to touch you as much because you've drifted behind the part of you that reacts to things How Your spiritual being feels? as you associate less with the physical and psychological parts of your being, you begin to identify more with the flow of pure energy the body normally feels that it's generally uncomfortable; the psyche is generally full of complaints and fears; spirit always feels good, and high; it always feels open and light you must release the personal self. As you release it, you drift back. As you go further back, you get higher. You get higher in vibration and higher in the amount of lvoe and lightness that you feel. As you let go and willingly release the physical, emotional, and mental aspects of your being, Spirit becomes your state The Spirit you're experiencing is the doorway to God When they let go of the lower aspects of their being, they felt tremendous love, Spirit, and light waking up inside of them. They felt that nothing could come in through their senses that was higher than what was already going on inside Let your being merge into GOD You drift into Spirit when you let go of your lower self You are no longer judging. There is just appreciating and honoring. To see, to experience, and to honor is to participate in life instead of standing back and judging it True love doesn't judge Love sees nothing but beauty in its beloved If you've ever really loved anybody, then you know what true love means. It means that you love them more than you love yourself. If you truly love someone, your love sees past their humanness. It embraces their whole being, including past wrongs and current shortcomings. It's like the unconditional love of a mother she thinks the child is beautiful. she doesn't focus on the shortcomings; she doesn't even see them as shortcomings You have a loving God being encouraged to feel completely protected, loved, honored, and respected by the Divine Force Your relationship with God is the same as your relationship with the sun No matter what you do, and no matter what you've done, you will always be loved by GOD reference [The Untethered Soul]