softskills - communication skills

self

social skills

• 自我展示 - 不要做面目模糊的人

  • 看到你能做什么
    • 我为什么到这里来；我能带来什么价值
  • 自我意识
    • 眼神坚定，优秀表达
  • engineering & scientist; entrepreneur

• 让别人了解你的潜力

  • 预期标签
    • 还要看到你的潜力，也就是预期标签

• 注重交流技巧

  • 认清环境，明白自己的立场和论点

    • 感情交流，懂得示弱
    • 重点放在倾听和引导
    • 告诉对方主要目的

  • 交谈

    • “你覺得 xx 怎么样啊”
      “这个事情我们该怎么解决呢”
      “我们是不是应该约个时间再好好地聊一下”

    • 交谈的时候一定要 言之有物

      • 用真诚的态度去讲，确保所说的话能给对方带来有用的信息
      • 不要带着批判消极的心态和语气

    • 善待那些不及你的人

      • 注重当下的自己和对方
      • 专注地跟自己计划中的某一些人发展成真正的交往关系

  • 圈子

    • 工具性支持

      • 帮你达到目标而提供相关信息，建议和协助
      • 能帮助你在事业上不断进阶的联系
        • 一个能够客观地与你讨论个人发展和事业发展的人； 比如加快项目执行，分享行业趋势
        • 帮你解决职业上的挑战

    • 社会心理支持

      • 会为了帮助实现个人成长而提供支持
      • 无法帮助你减轻压力，提供动力
        • 从你目前的工作，生活状态以外的角度分享见解
        • 当你向他们说出日常生活的考验时，他们能感同身受

small talk - try to find common interest

• why?

  • to be friendly
  • to meet new people
  • to not feel uncomfortable
  • "I love your earrings/songs, ..."
  • "How do you know ..."

• how to end a small talk

  • "I need to talk with my friend"
  • "It was nice talking to you. I enjoyed talking about movies with you"
  • "I hope to talk to you again soon"

• family - keep it light/easy

  • "Where are you from originally"
  • "Where did you grow up?"
  • "How did you meet your partner/..."
  • "Do you still have family there" //

• occupation - comfortable

  • "What's keeping you busy these days?" "That's interesting! How did you get involved with that?"
  • "How long have you been in your field?"
    "What's the best part of your job?" -
  • "what do you do?" "what motivated you to become a ...? "
  • "Did you always wann be a ..? " "what was your first-ever job?"
  • "what does a typical workday look like?" "what do you love about your job?"
  • "Is this your fream job? or are you working towards something else?"
  • "If money wasn't an issue, what job would you want?"

• Recreation - find similarities

  • "What do you do for fun?"
  • "Do you play any sports"
  • "How did you become interested that?"

• dream - smile, listen, learn

  • "Any plans for the summer?"
  • "If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?"
  • "What will you do once you finish te project? course?"
  • "What do you want to read next?" ..

• life

  • "Did you hear about ..."
  • "Have you got much planned for the weekend?"
  • "What do you like to do in your spare time?" - "That's interesting"
  • "Have you read any good books lately?"
  • "Have you seen any good movies/tv shows?"
  • "So, do you have any kids"
  • "So, are you from ...?"
  • "Where did you live before this?" "Is this city quite different to (that city)?"
  • "Where did you grow up?"

• travel

  • "I've just got back from a trip to Japan. Have you ever been?"
  • "You went to peru last year, didn't you?" "Do you have any recommendations?"
  • "What places are on your bucket list?"

• food

  • "Do you know any good restaurants around here?"
  • "I'm cooking lasagne for dinner tonight. What about you?"
  • "Have you tried that new Thai restaurant on Church Street?"
  • "Do you like Thai food?"

• weather

  • "It's a beautiful day today, isn't it?"
  • "Can you believe all the rain we've been having lately?"
  • "It's pouring out there! It's a shame I rode my bike today! How did you get to work?"

skills

• 语言能力、逻辑情感、人际交往等文化资本和社会资本

Getting feedback

• ask good questions - very specific questions

  • "What would make this email/report/other written communication easier to understand or read?"
  • "Did I communicate enough information or too much?"
  • "How could I have done a better job leading the meating?"
  • "We missed our deadline, how could i have helped more?"

• try to pick up patterns or overarching lessons and methods from their comments

Taking feedback

• they wanna you succeed, so if it helps, take notes

• Ask for clarification, and think about it

  • "How would you have done it differently?"
  • "What is an example of someone who has done this well? What did they do?" (then you can follow up the person)

• Think about it some more

  • Think before you respond
  • just listen and accept it
  • If the person doesn't know, just hear himself talk, and say "thank you"
  • if it is a carefully considered list of improvements, or honest, constructive feedback, give them your attention

• Be open-minded

  • don't fall to the traps -> ignorant, idiots, or out to get you (害你)

• if giving feedback, start with a question like "Are u open to feedback?"

How to Collaborate with People You Don’t Like

• Guide

沟通 - 得体 - 分寸合适

• British culture
  • friendly smile and eye contact when you handshake
  • follow the host
  • greet first before asking any question
  • say "Excuse me", "please", "Sorry"

如何处理和伯乐的关系

• 因为年龄，性别和阅历的差别，或者还没有见面的人，
  • 应该保持一定的距离感， 不能像平辈好友一样随便， 给人举止轻浮的感觉
  • 让对方知道你的尊敬，感激之情
  • 开始上班后给对方汇报一下自己的感受和进展
  • 让对方参与到你的事业发展中来，这样很自然地增强了这种导师的指导关系

给予工作机会的贵人，领导 - 邀请他们参与到你的成功中，才能真正成为你的人脉

• 留下感恩，得体的印象
• 找机会问候
  • 感谢领导给予的机会
  • 真诚地表示自己一定多学习，好好干
  • 如果将来工作中有问题，还得麻烦，给予指导和引领

有求于人的时候，如何寻求帮助合适呢？

• 做好自己的准备工作
  • 你对自己的需求了解吗？ 是否已经准备好自己的背景资料
  • 自己要对目标人脉和目标方向做好调研

• 简单明了地阐述你的诉求

  • 把自身背景和期望找的明确方向提前梳理好，用简洁，直接的方式礼貌提出
  • 能帮就帮，不能帮也会给你一个答复； 即使这次不能帮，也表示一下谢意， 耽误对方时间了

• 每一次求人办事动用人脉，都是一次资源消耗

  • 一定不要把重要人脉当知心姐姐来对待
  • 如果自己不清楚，找自己家人和挚友聊一下

• 人脉资源消耗以后，要及时补充

  • 对这个帮助过你的人脉进行投资和输入
    • 采取各种方式感谢对方，增加接触机会，找到能为对方创造价值的机会

• 求人帮忙，不管事情办好与否，一定要心怀感激

联系到目标人脉，如何进行接洽呢？

• 经第三方介绍后，应该马上与对方取得联系根据

  • 对方有可能会埋怨介绍人怎么做这么没谱的事

• 第一次联系的时候，礼貌地就是论事请教对方

  • 建立初步联系后，可以再补充问一些问题

• 如何在第一次联系当中就给对方好感呢？

  • 首先学会放低自己，谦虚的学习态度, 因为是要获取对方的信息和分享
  • 不要让对方产生竞争或威胁的感觉
    • 不要窃取对方的商业秘密，只是想学习一下别人的经验和方法，能够帮助这个初学者

• 请教别人，礼数一定要周到

  • 说些感谢的话，发个小红包

• 在和目标联系人联系后，应该在 24 小时内跟介绍人汇报一下

  • 同时表示感谢，有始有终

行事得体

• 真诚待人

  • 真实地表达自己，让别人了解你这个人，接受真实的你
  • 以互利互惠为本， 希望与对方交好

• 知恩图报

  • 感恩 - 对别人给予自己的帮助，表达出来，并寻找机会报答对方，让对方感觉愉悦

• 大方，大度

  • 大方 - 喜欢送人礼物 或者 给予别人方便和好处， 让别人感觉被惦记的温暖
  • 大度 - 不会计较细节

• 把握分寸

  • 亲密而独立的关系

• 谦虚，学习的态度

  • 与人相处

    • 谦虚的态度， 抱着学习的态度，放低自己，认真地去从他人身上吸取经验，智慧

  • 自信，自然的态度

    • 自信是因为自知而带来的自我肯定 - 知道自己是谁，有什么样的优势和特点

多观察， 注意留意身边为人处事得体，让人感觉舒服的人

reference

• Improve Your English Communication Skills Specialization
• Effective Communication - Improving your Social Skills
• Business Communication
• 沟通得体者得天下
• How to Collaborate with People You Don’t Like