notes-on-thrivers

self-confidence - an outcome of doing well

• understand, value, and apply the Core Assets -> happier, and more resilient

find & nurture your strengths

• personality features

  • friendliness
  • open-minded
  • reliable

• character traits

  • kindness
  • grit
  • patience
  • guileless / honest
  • 倔强

• alents and gifts

  • enjoy the beauty
  • logical thinking
  • 社会学
  • TOCHECK
    • "哪一類事情自己輕而易舉"

• TO improve

  • poss power and money

    • being better than others

  • 让自己在乎的人 感觉到 自己很在意她

    • 表达

  • 商业思维

    • 利益为先

  • 具体的经验

    • how， not why

  • know how to filter out friends

compensate for the weaknesses

• language

Empathy - think "we", not "me"

• help us care about each other and help bring out the humanity in the best possible way

• build relationship satisfaction

affective empathy - feel with another

• recognize and feel others' emotions

• read nonverbal cues in facial expressions, gestures, posture, and vocie tone

  • happy, sad, stressed, scared, frustrated, and angry
  • ask
    • "How did that make you feel?"
    • "are you anxious, worried, sad?"

  • share feelings in a safe way

    • "I'm frustrated with this book."
    • "I'm irritable ..."

  • create family connections

    • "what was the best/hardest/most fun part of your day and why"

• listening fully

  • look eye-to-eye or on the wall behind the speaker's head

  • try to learn one common thing about the person or sth you have in common

    • "we both like ... "
    • "we had the same ..."

  • label the feeling

    • "you sound stressed"
    • "you seem angry"
    • " you look happy"
    • "can I help", "I'm glad you told me"

cognitive empathy - perspective taking

• step into her shoes, understand his view and take his perspective

• understand others' feelings, thoughts, and desires

  • they can grasp others' needs

behavioral empathy - act with compassion

• do something to help

• how to care

  • console - "I'm sorry", "You didn't deserve that"
  • assist - "Do u need help?"
  • reassure - "I'm here for you"
  • empathize - "I know how you feel"

self-control - control their focus, impulses, and thoughts

Focus on what matters

• Notice your thoughts

  • "What your body feels like"
  • "What your ears hear"
  • "what is happening right now"

• recoginze

  • "How am I feeling" -> "what's causing it"
  • take a slow, deep breath -> calm down

• positive self-talk

  • "I think I can"
  • "I can get through this"
  • "I don't like it, but I can handle it"
  • "Stay calm. Carry on"

• Stop, Think, Act Right

self-management

healthy decision-making

Integrity - be good people and do the right thing

• strong moral compasses

  • know what's right, care about what's right, and do what's right
  • this sets boundaries, resist temptations, and guide on how to act the right way
  • it gives peace of mind when you do the right thing
  • thus you are true to yourself and honest with others

• learn by example

  • warmth, reasonable demands, and high responsiveness
  • "You know our rules - I know you can do better."

Curiosity

reference

• [Thriver]