notes-on-thrivers

2020-09-24

self-confidence - an outcome of doing well

  • understand, value, and apply the Core Assets -> happier, and more resilient
find & nurture your strengths

  • personality features

    • friendliness
    • open-minded
    • reliable

  • character traits

    • kindness
    • grit
    • patience
    • guileless / honest
    • 倔强

  • alents and gifts

    • enjoy the beauty
    • logical thinking
    • 社会学
    • TOCHECK
      • "哪一類事情自己輕而易舉"

  • TO improve

    • poss power and money

      • being better than others

    • 让自己在乎的人 感觉到 自己很在意她

      • 表达

    • 商业思维

      • 利益为先

    • 具体的经验

      • how， not why

    • know how to filter out friends

compensate for the weaknesses
  • language

Empathy - think "we", not "me"

  • help us care about each other and help bring out the humanity in the best possible way

  • build relationship satisfaction

affective empathy - feel with another

  • recognize and feel others' emotions

  • read nonverbal cues in facial expressions, gestures, posture, and vocie tone

    • happy, sad, stressed, scared, frustrated, and angry
    • ask
      • "How did that make you feel?"
      • "are you anxious, worried, sad?"

    • share feelings in a safe way

      • "I'm frustrated with this book."
      • "I'm irritable ..."

    • create family connections

      • "what was the best/hardest/most fun part of your day and why"

  • listening fully

    • look eye-to-eye or on the wall behind the speaker's head

    • try to learn one common thing about the person or sth you have in common

      • "we both like ... "
      • "we had the same ..."

    • label the feeling

      • "you sound stressed"
      • "you seem angry"
      • " you look happy"
      • "can I help", "I'm glad you told me"
cognitive empathy - perspective taking

  • step into her shoes, understand his view and take his perspective

  • understand others' feelings, thoughts, and desires

    • they can grasp others' needs
behavioral empathy - act with compassion

  • do something to help

  • how to care

    • console - "I'm sorry", "You didn't deserve that"
    • assist - "Do u need help?"
    • reassure - "I'm here for you"
    • empathize - "I know how you feel"

self-control - control their focus, impulses, and thoughts

Focus on what matters

  • Notice your thoughts

    • "What your body feels like"
    • "What your ears hear"
    • "what is happening right now"

  • recoginze

    • "How am I feeling" -> "what's causing it"
    • take a slow, deep breath -> calm down

  • positive self-talk

    • "I think I can"
    • "I can get through this"
    • "I don't like it, but I can handle it"
    • "Stay calm. Carry on"

  • Stop, Think, Act Right

self-management
healthy decision-making

Integrity - be good people and do the right thing

  • strong moral compasses

    • know what's right, care about what's right, and do what's right
    • this sets boundaries, resist temptations, and guide on how to act the right way
    • it gives peace of mind when you do the right thing
    • thus you are true to yourself and honest with others

  • learn by example

    • warmth, reasonable demands, and high responsiveness
    • "You know our rules - I know you can do better."

Curiosity

reference

  • [Thriver]