how to get love

dating

认识 - 聊一下觉得各方面都合得来， - 就会直接约出去玩， 只为了多一点时间相处，更加了解彼此

相处是来电，就再深入一点
相处时一般，就变成普通朋友

从价值观，兴趣，工作，生活品味入手

投其所好 - 最近 ..., 要不要一起用

love

• give number out first -

• make the first move and ask - Simply ask them if they want to come grab a drink with you

  • "I've loved talking to you, would you want to grab coffee some time?"
  • "set a specific time and place - that's great, are you free on saturday or sunday morning aournd 13:00?"
  • first date - bring to somewhere they like or feel comfortable - crowded restaurants, outdoor events, or small get-togethers

• wanna know more,and finding out if you're good match, not impress her

  • be yourself, because you wanna sometone to like you because of who you are
  • face-to-face conversation
    • get to know someone to check whether you enjoy her company
    • feel free to share things about yourself
    • ask about work "what do you enjoy about your job?" - families
    • "Do u like to travel?" "what would be her dream career" "do u have a favorite memory?"
    • make physical contact (shoulder touching, linking arms,) , holds strong eye contact, and smiles,
    • physical touch - hand on her back while you're waiting in line for tickets, hold hands during a movie, perhaps giving a compliment or moving in close to face

• Schedule more dates

  • slow down and get to know each other naturally
  • keep things casual to begin - go out for food, see a movie, go for a walk or meet for coffee 1-2 times a week
  • plan an activity she's passionate about it <- ask her
  • "Hey, I had a great time with you last night, thanks again for the awesome dinner. Let's get together again when you have some time"

• build trust

  • giving turst for it, share a small secret, or goal
  • as you become more comfortable, you'll likely trust someone

• communicate your expectations for the relationship

  • after going on 3-5 dates, you need to talk about where things are headed
  • introduce her to your friends -> deeper
  • then throw in some romantic surprise
    • sent her flowers at work, or planned a fun weekend trip, cooked inner

• 学会倾听 - 心灵导师

  • 支持 - 眼神和动作上支持
  • 情感支持 - 别着急责怪他们，也别急着给出自己的见解
  • 明白对方真正想要的帮助是什么

• 安全感

  • 冒险但不危险的气氛； 比如个人的反差性，比如 你本身会让人感觉到一些不安或难以琢磨，但相处下却发现你其实对她还不错
  • 引导力： 创造能带她参与的有趣环境， 有机会体验一下不同的人生，学习不同的新知，开拓眼界，甚至好玩

  • 环境造成的: 心跳加速的暗示

  • 安全感是指：

    • 看你喜欢她的程度又多少
    • 看你能不能反过来 克制她: 女人真正要的是一个不受她支配的男人
    • 眼神中有自信，知道自己要的是什么； 对某些事情有原则，不因女生的在场而可以作修饰
    • 一种发自内心的安全感，对自己很有安全感
    • 学会不动声色地去关心对方

• 自在阶段：

  • 在这个阶段累积你与女生的亲密感、信任度、记忆、安全感等要素。 若能藉此逐步加温，这段感情才会走得踏实
  • 调整力道的调情； 用力道强一些的调情手段试探。如果她正面回应，你就等于往前又站了一步； 可以多些互動

  • 觀察； 做為一個男人，应该要积极些

  • 让女方在你的引导下，对这段关系有所「投资」， 让对方有参与，让她感觉她在贡献某种价值

  • 让女人觉得你有维护她、记得她的喜好即可

• 追女人要让女生觉得你有趣、生命丰富、你有价值、跟你在一起好玩、开心、与放松(当然，你也要有同样的感觉才行

• 建立信任感，最重要的就是： 让对方觉得，我们是了解他的；又两个大方向：

  • 说对方想听的话
  • 让对方说想说的话

• reference:

  • 恋爱
  • 追女生